'Tis (Not) The Season

Autumn was up thirty minutes before her alarm even went off. Today was not the day to sleep in, after all. It was August 31st, and to Autumn that meant only one thing.

Spooky Season was on its way.

Despite the heat being absolutely suffocating outside, Autumn paired her cutoff shorts and high-tops with a jack-o-lantern hoodie. Fall weather and Atlanta were rarely sympatico, but she thought she could manifest cooler weather if she tried hard enough. That, and the sweatshirt was cute and she was willing to suffer. With her heart full of leafy, crunchy, spicy, sweater-loving joy, she headed out the door. First to her favorite coffee shop for a pumpkin spice latte; then to the craft store.

As she skipped down the sidewalk, her favorite seasonal beverage in hand and humming "This Is Halloween", a sparkle in one of the many store windows she passed caught her eye suddenly. Curious, she backed up a few steps and looked again. The sight that greeted her almost brought her coffee right back up again.

A Christmas tree. In August.

The woman who was decorating it actually had the audacity to smile and wave at Autumn, like she'd done nothing wrong at all. Autumn waved back woodenly (because what else was she supposed to do) and shuffled on. Shaking her head in disbelief. Who in their right mind put up a Christmas tree this early in the year? It was insane.

After a moment of thought, Autumn looked down at her already sweat-drenched hoodie. Who was she to judge? There were probably some (ok, a lot) who might think she was crazy for wearing a Halloween-themed garment before October. Those people would be wrong, of course. But she could understand.

Autumn shrugged off the whole notion and carried on, already planning what to pick up from the craft store. A handful of dry leaves scattered across the sidewalk at her feet, bringing a smile to her face. Manifesting colder weather seemed to be working; the sun was still hot as balls, but the breeze at her back was pleasantly cool. Within five minutes, she'd finished her coffee and reached her destination. Ready to stock up on everything pumpkin and ghoulish she could get her hands on.

The moment she crossed the threshold, however, Autumn was hit in the face with Christmas again.

There was an entire freaking display of plastic candy canes, nutcrackers of every shape and size, and fake light-up gingerbread houses right in the front door. It was flanked by even more Christmas trees, all pretty and sparkly with glittery ribbons and red, green, and gold baubles. Objectively, the display was absolutely gorgeous. But it was ruining Autumn's spooky mood.

Barely holding in an exasperated groan, Autumn grabbed a basket and made a beeline for the Halloween section. It was shockingly harder to find than she thought, buried in the back corner next to the clearance shelves. To her disappointment, it was also incredibly small. Trying to stay hopeful, she told herself that this had to be the leftover stock from last Halloween. Surely the store would get more stuff in closer to October.

As she picked over the dismal selection of Styrofoam skulls and mini velveteen pumpkins, the store's usual, mellow yacht rock suddenly cut out overhead. Weird, but not alarming. This was a local Mom and Pop store, so their sound system could be a little wonky at times. Autumn didn't think much of it at all, especially when the music came back on a minute later. She even hummed along to the tune for a few seconds... until she recognized Mariah Carey's voice.

"No," she moaned, looking up at the speaker above her head, "Come on! Why?! It's August, people!"

Autumn hadn't realized how loud she was until a few of the other store patrons started glaring at her. The lady giving her the ugliest looks had on a "Meowy Xmas" sweatshirt, which only made Autumn feel worse. Sheepishly, she set her empty basket down and hurried out of the store. Hopefully, her quick exit had gotten her out of a lifetime ban.

She had only been in the store for fifteen minutes at the most, but the temperature had dropped drastically. Thick, puffy grey clouds filled the sky; odd, considering it had been bright blue and clear as a bell a short while ago. Autumn was glad to have her hoodie on now, hugging herself through it when an unseasonably cold wind blew at her back. Cold weather was good, though. That's what she wanted.

The nip in the air was just what Autumn needed to cheer up again. Sure the craft store had been disappointing, but it wasn't the only store in town. She needed groceries anyway, so she scampered off to the supermarket. Maybe she could pick up a pumpkin or two while she was there, and stock up on candy for the trick-or-treaters. Assuming any candy she bought would last long enough to make it into their treat bags, of course.

A sigh of relief left Autumn when she saw pumpkins and scarecrows piled up near the grocery store's entrance. She grabbed up a gourd that looked nice on her way in, already thinking about what kind of face to carve in it. Mariah Carey greeted her once again as she walked into the produce section at the front of the store, though. This time, Autumn held in her cringe and tried to ignore it. Two aisles later, however, was something she could not ignore for the life of her.

Everywhere she looked was more Christmas. Little Debbie already had their famous Tree Cakes out (no sign of any Pumpkin Delights or Fall Cakes in sight, though). Santa Claus was on every Coca-Cola bottle. They had great big hams and turkeys as big as compact cars on sale. Every box, bag, and package was covered in snowflakes and candy cane stripes. Even the dog treats were festive. It was enough to make Kris Kringle himself toss his milk and cookies.

Where were the bats, pumpkins, and ghosts? Where was the orange, purple, and black? Where the hell was Halloween?

Autumn liked Christmas just as much as the next person. But this? This was just wrong. Had the whole city gone cuckoo for Christmas? Was there a vote to skip Halloween and Thanksgiving that she missed?

"Ma'am? Ma'am, are you okay?"

Autumn spun around with a jolt, coming face to pimply face with a teenager. Judging by his colorful polyester vest and nametag, he was an employee. He took a step back automatically when she looked at him, though. Like he regretted even speaking to her.

"Candy," she blurted, "Wh-Where is it?"

The teen gulped nervously, pointing down the aisle to his right. Autumn followed his finger with her eyes, unable to stop a manic little laugh from bubbling up her throat. The poor, dumb kid had clearly misunderstood her; the section he'd pointed to was overloaded with Christmas candy, cookie tins, and stocking stuffers.

"No... no, no, no, no," Autumn said through clenched teeth, her face frozen in a painful smile to at least try and appear pleasant, "I want Halloween candy. You guys have that, right? I mean... it's August."

The employee looked genuinely confused, and a little fearful for his life. "We put that stuff out months ago," he said, "There might be a few bags left in the bargain section, but... I doubt it."

At this point, Autumn was seriously doubting her sanity.

"It's August!" She snapped, "What the hell is wrong with you?! We haven't even had Halloween! It's two months away, for Pete's sake!!"

The kid took another step back. This one bigger than before. His eyes darted nervously to the left and right, like he was debating which direction to run. Surprisingly, he held his ground.

"Look, Lady, I just work here," he stammered, "I make twelve bucks an hour doing what they tell me to do. If you have a problem with that, I can get my manager for you."

A crowd was starting to gather around them, which was the only thing that made Autumn chill out. Scrambling to save face, she mumbled a sincere apology to the employee and ran to the self checkout to pay for her pumpkin. By that point, though, she wasn't even sure she wanted it anymore.

Her heart was heavier than the pumpkin in her arms as she walked home. Something seriously wasn't right here. Autumn had just been in that store last week, and there wasn't a single holly jolly thing on the shelves. Why was everyone suddenly Christmas crazy now? What was wrong with them?

Autumn stopped in the middle of the sidewalk, just trying to wrap her head around everything. She looked at the pumpkin in her arms, and her jack-o-lantern hoodie. The latter of which was definitely not warm enough anymore. Everyone who walked past gave her the strangest looks, all bundled up in their winter coats, hats, and gloves. Were they wearing those a few minutes ago? Autumn wasn't sure anymore. She also hadn't noticed the beautifully wrapped packages they were carrying before. Nor did she see the garland wrapped around the lampposts, or hear the soft strains of "Silver Bells" wafting on the chilly breeze. She didn't even know where the music was coming from.

Maybe the problem wasn't everybody else. Maybe it was her.

While she wrestled with these troubling thoughts, a wet, shockingly cold droplet landed on Autumn's nose. She wiped it off without thinking, blinking as more icy little drops landed in her eyelashes. A gasp left her lips, carried on a foggy plume, as she looked up at the sky.

Snowflakes.

Colder weather was awesome, but Autumn was not mentally prepared for a snowfall in August. She shivered and moved her pumpkin to the crook of her arm, freeing up a hand to tug her hoodie hem lower over her shorts. Her grip wasn't as good as she thought, however. Before she realized what was happening, the heavy gourd slipped right through her fingers. It would've smashed to pieces on the ground, had a second pair of hands not magically appeared under it at the last second.

"Look out!" A handsome, frost-bitten face grinned, "Gotta keep an eye on pumpkins, y'know; damn critters always try to run away from ya."

Autumn blinked at the stranger for a few seconds, too stunned to speak. Like her, he definitely wasn't dressed for the weather. All he had on was jeans and a black, long-sleeved tee. For a moment, Autumn thought she was dreaming: the stranger's shirt had a jack-o'-lantern face on it. The exact inverse of hers.

"Hey... cool shirt," she said, smiling even though her teeth were chattering, "For a minute there, I thought I was going crazy. It is August 31st... right?"

"Hell yeah!" the friendly stranger crowed, "Spooky season is on the horizon! Nice to find a kindred soul with all this holiday crap ever'where. Y'know I had to go to five stores to find one lousy bag of Halloween candy? It's brutal."

"Tell me about it," Autumn giggled, "Say, um... Sorry, I never got your name."

"Heath," he answered, "Like the candy bar. Momma has a killer sweet tooth."

"Nice," she blushed, "I'm Autumn. Why don't we find someplace to warm up and get to know each other? Maybe over some hot cocoa?"

Heath winced, pursing his lips in thought. "I ain't really a hot cocoa kinda guy," he admitted, "...but I wouldn't say no to a pumpkin spice latte. You down?"

"Very," Autumn blurted.