Time Gentlemen, Please

Time gentlemen, please

Introduction – A feminist restructuring of Jim Cartwright’s Two. In this play we explore third-party harassment against women in the 80’s working in a northern pub. In this first scene, we are introduced to all the girls in a shoal movement sequence that is loud and lively like a pub at 8 o’clock on a hot Saturday evening.

SCENE 1

(Audience enter to an immersive pub stage layout.)

(Bar, tables, stools, snug, centre stage is a collection of crates/barrels to suggest the world outside.)

(LX are moody, haze fills the room to suggest smoke. Candles on tables. Intimate and cosy.)

(‘Take on Me’ by A-Ha karaoke playing in background.)

(Music: INSTRUMENTAL “Come on Eileen” playing in the background during the spoken verse)

(Note: The audience enter into an empty bar. Sticky carpet. Smell of Bitter and Tobacco.)

(Stage direction: The group enter one by one saying their line. Opening the piece each carrying a prop. Crate, washcloth, apron etc.)

ABBY: The night rolls on

CAIT: Light blurs

EMMA: The roaring slurs

ALL: And so, pours the lager (Stage direction: pose cheering with a glass)

ABBY: (Stage direction: Moving around the pub as she talks, the rest of the group is freeze frozen)

Cheap chips, Cashews, Crisps

Cursing, Kissing

Twist, Lips

Come on,

Sip, Swig

Sup ya buggers

Hand over the glasses

Not the ones on your head!

Total arses! (Stage direction: the freeze frame for the rest of group is broken, everyone changes position)

ALL:

The night rolls on

Light blurs

The roaring slurs

And so, pours the lager ...

EMMA (Stage direction: as before, EMMA starts moving while the rest of the group is frozen)

Pint of mild

For weird John at the bar

ALL: HIYA!

EMMA: Rambling on about an old scar

Down on his luck

Lost his old truck

Offering to pay for a cheeky...

ALL: (others join without missing a beat) ...fuck off!

The night rolls on

Light blurs

The roaring slurs

And so, pours the lager …

CAIT (Stage direction: is sitting cross legged at a stool by the bar, while everyone else is freeze framed)

Another mild

Jack and coke

On the bar there’s another bloke

Asking me to smile

When he tells his jokes (ALL forcefully laugh. Cut short by vocalisations of disgust)

Time to escape for a cheeky smoke

ALL:

The night rolls on

Light blurs

The roaring slurs

And so pours the lager

(Stage direction: everyone goes to the crates, and smokes for ten seconds...the music also stops so that they are left in silence sniffling: lights on pub walls and near optics dim over 1 second and the centre crates are lit with two cool blue soft overhead spotlights to indicate a street lamp and moonlight. They are now outside away from the alcohol jungle enjoying a small nicotine pleasure)

Poppy (Stage direction: ALL head to the bar, Poppy is notably behind the bar)

(Stage direction: Poppy looks around)

Come On

(Lights up. Music begins again. Momentum of the Alcohol Jungle resumes.)

Pull , Pull,

Drip drip Drop

Stop

Shouting and slurring

LULU (stage direction: slow motion movements from the rest of the group around the bar)

Barrels’ empty

ALL: 'Barrel’s empty!'

LULU: Step step step

Down into darkness

Cool

Mouldy

Mouldy but cool

Unplug the old and in with the new

Lines changed!

ALL: 'Lines changed!’

(Stage direction: everyone leaves the bar carrying things to different tables where audience are seated. Pint glasses etc.)

ABBY: step step step

up the stairs

and back in the room

CAIT: Pub is swaying

LULU: Piano playing

EMMA: Darts are flying

POPPY: Southern softies crying

ALL:

The night rolls on

Light blurs

The roaring slurs

And so, pours the lager …

(EXITS: ABBY exits upstage left behind optics wall, upstage right LULU 'STAFF ONLY' , Emma downstage right 'GENTS', POPPY downstage right 'LADIES')

(Stage direction: CAIT remains on stage behind the bar for scene 2.)