The world is so big, I want to stay by your side

01

Many years ago, Shen Sihao felt that love was silence, a glass of water when his lover was thirsty, a hug when he cried, and the deeper the love, the more difficult it was to say.

Until his best brother caught up with his favorite girl, the brother said: "Si Hao, you are beaten or scolded I admit, but you never said to be with her!"

The girl asked, "Shen Sihao, is it so hard to say that you like me? Once I liked you for real, and now I love him for real."

He couldn't answer, so he had to say, "May you grow old together."

True.

Later, the brother proposed to the girl, on the shores of Lugu Lake, one knee on the ground, and promised a lifetime of deep love.

He looked at his brother's wedding ring in the circle of friends, point a zan, and said: "Congratulations, come back to you guys to seal a big red envelope."

The brother laughed and said yes.

That night, he had a dream, the girl wearing a blood-stained wedding dress asked, "Si Hao, if you had said you liked me earlier, would we have been different?"

He woke up from the dream with a twinge in his chest and an unprecedented panic attacking him.

He asked, "Do you believe there is telepathy between people?"

When he asked this question, he was sitting in a white van going to Lugu Lake, winding up the mountainous road with green hills in the distance.

The woman listening to him was a woman with short, ear-length hair, wearing a black jacket, holding the steering wheel with one hand, the corners of her lips slightly up, with a hint of mockery.

"Don't you dare not believe it?" This is the first time he took the initiative to mention this to others, "On the night I dreamed, they had an accident on the way back to Xichang from Lugu Lake, a head-on collision with a large truck, even people with cars all rolled down the mountain."

The female driver slowed the car and gave him a look.

"Don't you think they are dreaming to me?"

For three years, he had been hypothesizing that if he had been the one with the girl at that moment, wouldn't she and his best friend have died?

Ten minutes later, the female driver pulled over to the side of the road and said, "I have an impression of that accident, the lot where it happened is around here, don't you miss your brother? Let you see."

He was moved to tears, "You are a good person."

The female driver nodded and responded.

He opened the car door, and walked to the guardrail, all the past days like a film rolled in his mind, looking at the green mountains in the distance like dazzling, eyes red.

Suddenly, a pair of hands from behind on his shoulders a heavy push, the left foot slipped out of the road, his heart jumped, his arm was tight again, he crooked back in shock, only to see the female driver standing behind him, hands grasping his sleeves, lips with a touch of meaningful promotion.

"What are you doing?" He broke free from her hands and said in a somewhat agitated tone, "It will scare people to death!"

"Didn't you say your brother had a dream for you to leave together?" The female driver snorted, "Who hasn't had two people die around them? Say it like you are the only one in the world who has a story, so pretentious."

02

The woman's name is A Xia, a black cab driver she met in Xichang.

From the first time he saw her, he felt that she was different from the others, her eyebrows were cold and full of banditry, and she ate a cage of dumplings in one breath without taking a breath.

At that time, he was inquiring with the breakfast store owner about how to get to Lugu Lake.

The boss did not speak, she first spoke, "I will take you, chartered car, six hundred."

He ignored her and continued to ask the boss, "Where can I take the bus?"

Asha gave him a look.

The boss said, "It takes almost eight hours to get there by bus, and the whole way is mountainous, it's better for you to charter a car."

"Forget it, I'm going back anyway, count you four hundred."

"Two hundred." He said.

"I pooh." She said, "You are now a fucking date more than that much money, three hundred and fifty, not a penny less."

"The sex can spend three hundred and fifty to sleep, I spend three hundred and fifty to charter a car to sleep with you?" He is not bad at all than the mouth bitch.

"It depends on whether you have that ability." She picked up the bowl and drank the thin rice in one go, "Are you going or not?"

"Go." He shoved the last bite of noodles into his mouth and said back.

She drove an old Suzuki with mud splattered all over it and dust falling on the windows, he stood in front of the car door and couldn't help but question, "Is this car still drivable?"

"It's drivable." She said briefly, appalled, and opened the driver's seat to get in.

Shen Sihao followed her on the road.

The closer he got to the incident, the more panicked his heart became, and he could only rely on constant talking to relieve his inner anxiety, who knew that what he got was her ridicule.

Four hours later, the car drove into the scenic area, A Xia said, "The scenic area ticket is one hundred, I take you in, only eighty."

"Thanks, no need." He handed her the money, opened the door and got out of the car, took the suitcase from the back seat, and walked straight to the ticket hall, at the peak of the season, the crowd was like a tide, the sunset was slanting, and the straight road was dimly lit at the end.

At that moment, his arm was pulled from behind, and Asha stood behind him and asked, "How about this, tickets plus accommodation, I'll charge you two hundred and twenty?"

"No need." He withdrew his hand and walked towards the hall.

He wanted to reveal his wounds to her but was mocked by her as a joke.

He didn't want to say one more word to her.

03

At night, he chose to stay at the edge of the Caohai Sea, southeast of Lugu Lake.

The roadside of the sea of grass was dusty and desolate, but he chose to live there because he had not yet thought about what he was going to do in the place that witnessed their happiness.

And what is the meaning of his coming here?

Patches of dead grass were floating on the surface of Caohai Lake, and at one point when he was sunbathing he was asked if he was at the place where the Red Army crossed the grass, and only one friend called and asked, "Si Hao, what are you doing at Lugu Lake?"

"I don't know." He didn't know, just happened to have a vacation, just happened to remember his brother and the girl, and everything was just right.

"It's all in the past." My friend wanted to say something like, "Think about it, don't do anything stupid."

He laughed: "What can I do that's stupid?"

My friend couldn't answer, "Anyway, you've been weird since they died, don't keep everything inside you, it's always better to talk about it."

For some reason, he remembered the female driver.

"What to say out? To be heard as a joke?" He stood on the promenade of the hotel, looking at the dimming sky, and said, "Old dog, don't worry, who has not died around two people, I'm not that fragile."

He hung up the phone and went downstairs, walking along the highway, with few pedestrians along the way, until he came to a bar that was being renovated, then stopped and stopped.

A sign stood in front of the door called: Asha's Tavern.

A short while later, he walked to the barbecue stall next door, and after ordering a few bottles of wine and a few skewers of pancetta, he chatted with the owner, "Is the owner of the tavern next door Ah Ha?"

The boss laughed, "All our girls here are Asha, which Asha are you looking for?"

Which Asha?

He thought for a moment, "Female bandit, tall and thin, little dark-skinned, smiling eyes curved up like a fox."

He was not a person with a particularly good memory, yet he was able to portray the woman's looks without missing a beat, usually, there was only one such case, the person must have owed him.

"Xia Zhi ah." Half a moment, the boss turned the roast meat on the grill over and said, "What? You want to charter a car?"

He nodded without moving his head, "En."

"I think I have a business card here, wait." The boss looked down in his grease-covered apron and looked through it, handing him the card only after a burnt smell came through the air, "Look, is that her?"

The dark blue business card had a name and a string of cell phone numbers printed on it, along with various types of businesses and identities contracted.

Xia Zhi.

Innkeeper, contractor of chartered buses, guides, accommodation, and scenic spot tickets on behalf of the business.

This is a wide range of business.

The company's main business is to provide a wide range of products and services to its customers.

He cleared his throat, "Xia Zhi?"

"I am, may I ask what you want?" The gentle attitude was a far cry from the flailing in front of him.

"It's like this, I want to charter a car to Lugu Lake tomorrow morning."

"Oh, about what time?"

"Six o'clock, right, on the Caohai side." He popped a face and gave the name of a nearby hotel and said, "My last name is Shen."

"Okay, Mr. Shen." She didn't seem to catch his voice, "May I ask if you have anything else?"

"I saw that you offer so much business on your business card, so I wanted to ask, are there any special services?"

She hung up the phone straight away.

04

The next day, he slept until eight in the morning, and by the time he was packed up, it was after nine, and the sun was spilling over the entire lake, casting a radiant glow through the windows on the wooden floor of the hotel.

He walked out of the hotel slowly, carrying his travel bag, took out the phone that had been turned off for a long time, turned it on, and dialed, "Sorry, Miss Xia, my phone ran out of battery and I overslept."

She let out a cold laugh, looked in the rearview mirror, and said, "Look up, look across."

He raised his head, the blinding sunlight came straight, shaking his eyes, raised his hand to block the sun, through the gap in his fingertips, only to see a white van parked across the street.

He crossed the street and walked to the driver's side window to stop, only to see Ah Ha with black sunglasses and black hair glistening in the sunlight.

"Mr. Shen?" She smiled angrily.

"It's me." He answered frankly.

"Are you kidding me?" She opened the driver's door and asked, "Is it funny?"

"Didn't you tease me yesterday? We're even." He shrugged, "Tell you what, you have to wait a few more hours, I'll count the money for you."

If it was a few years ago, A Xia would have exploded, but now she just looked at him calmly, "Okay, two hundred an hour, seven hundred in total, take the money."

"Owed." He walked around her, pulled open the passenger door, and sat down.

He took a box of cigarettes out of his pocket and asked, "Do you have a light?"

"I've got a fire in my belly." She slammed the door shut and said through clenched teeth, "Want one?"

"I want it as soon as you give it to me." He narrowed his eyes and smiled with smoke, his angular face seemed to glow in the sunlight.

Asha started the car and stopped paying attention to him.

"Your name is Shashi?" He asked, holding the cigarette between his fingertips and leaning his elbow against the car window, "Not a local, right? What do you think you're doing here, a foreigner? You don't look like one of those little fresh literary chicks, either."

He swept away yesterday's gloom and chattered, "Is there a movie theater here? Do you have to drive five hours to Xichang City to see a movie or a date?"

Asha a brake, his body jerked forward and nearly touched the windshield.

"Go down." She said.

He said, "Aren't you a guide? How about I give you a thousand and a half to stay with me for a day?"

No matter what the words were, there was always a double entendre coming from him.

Asha took a deep breath, "Okay."

With Asha, as long as you give money, everything is fine.

These are the last eight words of truth given to him by the owner of the barbecue stall yesterday, surprisingly good.

05

The car shuttled through the narrow streets and drove into the vicinity of Lugu Lake, the wind raging on the lake, the river bank parked on the pig trough boat, A Xia parked the car, but he did not move for a long time, looking at the waves of the lake, breathing gradually sharply down.

"What are you doing?" Asha opened the car door and faced him sideways.

He just felt his brain was dizzy, pushed the door open, and walked down, the wind blew the banners aside, and the lake tumbled, from blue to yellow.

There were many people taking pictures at the lake, and he put his hands in his pockets and looked ahead without words.

Asha stood at his side looking at the phone.

"Are you going to marry me?" He looked at her as if he was looking at another person.

The wind was too loud for her to hear clearly, so she raised her head and asked, "What?"

"Do you want to marry me?" He asked loudly, and many people around him looked at the sound.

"Get out." She slapped him on the back, "What are you mad about?"

His eyes stirred up a hot tear, his friend was here to propose to the girl, now the reef is still yesterday's reef, but the person has long been the old friend, and the only thing he can do is repeat everything.

His hands hold her shoulders, and his eyes are red, "it is difficult to have to say that love? At that time, except for my mouth, the whole body was saying that I loved you."

Asha subconsciously swept a glance towards him below the abdomen, the surrounding passersby had started to coax, "Together, together."

"Although the answer comes late, I still want to tell you, twenty-one years old me, very like twenty years old you." He pursed his lips, finally saying what he wanted to say most, in the place the girl liked best, and maybe that's what he came here for.

He moved his face away and wiped the tears from his sleeve to hide his wretchedness.

"No one blames you, it's just that you haven't been able to forgive yourself." This time, she didn't sneer, "Don't come back in the future."

Asha stepped up a step and reached out to wipe away the tears on one side of his face.

06

At night, he stayed at Asha's hotel, ready to leave early in the morning.

The next day, he pushed open the door to see Asha chatting with some young travelers in the courtyard.

"I envy you for living here, it's like a paradise." A young girl complained, "I'm falling apart at work every day."

"How much can you earn in a year? You must be a rich second generation, right?"

"Sister, you are simply the outstanding representative of literary youth, I will take a picture of you and send it to Weibo, you will be able to fire."

A Xia sat on a small bench peeling peas, and laughed: "I am not any literary youth, just a friend like here, I promised him to help him achieve, so I came."

"What about your friend?" The girl squatted down and peeled peas with her.

"Dead." She said.

There was silence all around.

"I knew you guys had to look like this." She laughed, "in fact, when you're young and do not know what to do, what stimulus to play what, once we went hiking, met a landslide, and all six people were buried inside, at that time do not know if they can survive, they say each other's last wishes, who survived, who will go to achieve it."

"That ...... survived a few?" A boy asked.

"All dead." She raised her head, and the bright sun shone on her eyes, "other people's wishes are quite simple, on this trouble, should have known then let him change a wish."

"You are a person with a story ......," the girl said.

"It's not called a story, it's called an accident."

The few people surrounding her couldn't say a word, Shen Sihao turned around and walked back to his room. In the afternoon, he borrowed a car from Ah Xia and went around Lugu Lake by himself.

It wasn't until around nine o'clock in the evening that he returned to the hotel and returned the keys to Ah Xia.

"Are you free? Can you have dinner with me?" He asked.

A Xia nodded, "Sure."

The two of them went to a barbecue stand not far away to eat barbecue and ordered a case of snowflakes, a bottle of wine after a bottle, A Xia asked, "Where did you go to play today?"

He raised his head and looked across at the tall, thin woman wearing a long beige sweater and asked, "Do you like it here?"

"No, I don't hate it." She replied.

"How much did you pay for this hotel?"

Speaking of which, Aha was staggered, "I'm in partnership with someone, I mortgaged my parents' house and took out a loan with the bank for a few hundred thousand."

"Do you earn enough money to pay back?" He suddenly remembered her business card so much business, heart compassionate, "the previous thing, to say sorry to you."

"No need." She took a sip of wine, "Didn't you pay me back too?"

The two did not speak again.

After eating the barbecue, back to the hotel, near the door, he reached out and hugged her, "I'm leaving tomorrow, never to return.