The Unhappy Ending...

It takes a strong individual to get through the ups and downs in life

Especially when there's been more downs then ups

At what point do you say I've had enough

Life goes on and we don't always get the answers or the apologies we want

We go through things that damage us beyond repair

Lived experiences shaping our lives

We try to adapt and grow, but it doesn't always happen overnight

And some never bloom they just wither away like a dead flower

I myself cling to dear life

Feeling as if I'm caught in an undertow

Just waiting for the current to pull me into the deep blue sea

Where I soon become chum

But then my foot gets loose from between the rocks

I once again swim up to the surface and float on top of the waves

These are my thoughts as I reflect over the past 4 decades

In our 20s we live as if anything is possible

And some, some follow their dreams

But what if you were never encouraged to dream

Every day routine and mundane with a lack of adventure

But then one day you get the taste for it

Life is a journey with an unknown destination

But you never know what comes next

You never know where a path might take you, or what may be just around the corner

This leads me to the story... the story of an Unhappy Ending... It is what it is!

A young girl who never truly felt loved, but whose heart always loved others, one day she met a guy she thought had actually loved her.

Soon after they met she got pregnant and the guy had moved in with her.

He lived in her apartment, he drove her car, and after giving birth he moved her away from her family.

She spent months alone in a trailer up north.

Nothing but trees in a small town, away from all her family and friends.

But she did it, because now this guy and her newborn baby were her family.

Months went by and she found herself and the baby left alone for hours, from the time the sun came up until it set.

She would make the hour and a half trip back home every so often to visit with her parents.

Until one day her cheating boyfriend tried to get rid of her, so he could ring in the new year by partying.

He told her his sister-in-law caught Blastomycosis from his brothers' clothes.

He was a logger who worked in the woods, and claimed this deadly disease was carried into their home.

He went as far as to have this young girl picture her baby hooked up to machines fighting for his life.

The girl knew he was lying just to get her out of the house for new years.

The man had hid her car keys and now she needed the spare to leave with her own car.

She packed up her and her baby's things and called her parents to come get them.

They kept in contact for 2 more months as the young girl reached out and tried to keep their family together.

Unfortunately the guy only thought of himself... years went by and she reached out again.

Still wanting her son to have a father, but in the end, she ended up being a single mother not of one but of two.

Throughout the years she gave him chance after chance to be in the children's lives.

But year after year the man remained self centered.

She struggled to make ends meet, going to school, going to work, and raising the two kids on her own.

It hurt her to see how much her kids hurt.

They ended up going through life without a father.

The one thing she could never give them... no matter how badly she wish she could.

Years went by and the kids grew up.

One day the mother became badly injured.

She still cared for one of the children who had health issues of his own.

She was about to lose their home, could not pay to get their car fixed, and against her better judgement reached out to the man one last time.

She explained the situation, and he acted as though he understood.

At this time he had more kids, so she thought he must know what it might have been like all those years.

Life is hard and it gets harder when you have to raise kids on your own.

She reminded the man of his unpaid child support obligation and the children that he had turned his back on.

She asked for $3000 out of the $53,000 he had owned in past due child support to get their car fixed.

She even tried to get the court to modify the current support order, but he never showed up for court.

He never helped get the car fixed, he instead took vacations and even had the audacity to let her know.

He soon tried transferring the case to another jurisdiction, and during this time of uncertainty he stopped paying support entirely.

Full of stress, full of hurt and pain, and full of hopelessness the woman finally received a letter in the mail.

It was from the child support agency stating whether or not they would transfer the court case.

She took days to open the letter she had received.

The letter stated neither party appeared to the hearing, something that was never even relayed to her.

The court case after decades was transferred to a new jurisdiction.

The $53,000 that was accrued she saw in her mind dissolve into thin air.

What was the point of continuing to get upset over something that was owed to her children...

Something that they needed, but would never see.

Sometimes life doesn't make sense.

Sometimes we hold onto something longer than we should.

In the end all it did was affect her mental health, made her sick to her stomach, and she lost her faith in others and the justice system.

To this day, she tells herself she is better off not searching for love, not relying on others, and not believing in happy endings.