The Ultimate Decision

Have you ever got to choose your fate? See the world as it is and know your place. Understand your position, knowing your purpose. I found all the answers to my wondering curiosity and I was able to make a decision. Finally being completely confident in what was best not only for me but for the people I love. I chose to...

Aboard The Train 6:00pm.

"Hey sir wake up! sir wake up!" a strange voice battered my eardrum, a familiar voice. I woke with the worst migraine known to man. As my eyes struggled to open with the dramatics of the migraine a beautiful woman stood before me in the mist of a light. So confused because I thought I knew who was in front of me but when my eyes came to, it was a total stranger. Everything seemed so strange and I was lost completely.

"Sir do you have your ticket out of here?" The problem is I never remember having a ticket to get on this. Wait, "excuse me, ma'am what ticket what is this?" She said excuse me and walked away in a hurry. Hyperventilating I grabbed the seats in front of me pulling myself to the side where the window was on the left of me. Everything moved so fast I could not concentrate. I slowly looked around and everyone else seemed calm just looking out the windows but how did I get here. I calmed down and started to search for the ticket I must of had because how else would I had been on this train.

I blew my breath in frustration. "damn ticket! where am I even going?" I murmured. That question always followed me wherever I went because where was I going. I leaned my forehead against the fogged, cold window and I noticed how fast the train was going but I was pent up with confusion at this point I just stared blankly into infinity. So much was on my mind more then usual, as I stared out everything went by so fast and that's how I saw my life it was going by fast before my eyes.

The Past.

"Hey little boy come on over here and talk to a old man!" said Mr. Roberts he was our neighbor a old lonely man who fought in the war and through life itself. "Now what are you all teary eyed for boy," he said buckling his eyes right on mine. Now I have always waved to him out of kindness but I have never spoken to him let alone feeling comfortable enough to tell him about my depressing life as a kid. "Well you see... when I got off the bus a bug flew into my eye and it watered then got red," I said shakenly in my voice. Mr. Robert laughed, "is that so? So what's all the sissy crying for then?" I didn't know what to do besides get up and run home, tears still in my eyes and shame in the dust lifted from my feet. I ran straight past my parents straight to my room grabbed my picture of my dad and cried until I fell asleep. This memory felt so real and I remember why I was crying.

We lived pretty much in the woods with the most beautiful huge cabin near the water. Near the water is where I spent pretty much the years of my life eleven years old until I graduated seventeen. I lived there with my mother and step dad, he was great though through my eyes every action was seen in pain. So I made it hard for my mother and him for a few years. Fights, lying, sneaking out, cursing or yelling at Brad. Yes Brad he is a lawyer while my mother Delilah is a doctor, they make a lot of money and its not something that is discreet. I always look like a rich snob with the name brands and the newest items. They made my life miserable without even knowing or seeming to care. They were often unavailable always work, meetings, and scheduled dinners. I was always alone.

I have never understood why teachers make it there business to put your business on display when you join a school but that's exactly what happened to me on the first day. "Hello class good morning! We have a new student here Elijah, now I want you to be extra nice to him and make him feel welcome. He father past away and he is feeling a little down so lets make his first day cheerful." When she said that I wanted to turn around and strangle her but of course I would never disrespect my elder but somewhere in me I felt like that was inappropriate for a teacher to display. I was so embarrassed and I didn't know why, I was so lost, sad, and depressed class was the last place I wanted to be.

Well before I moved to Michigan I lived a life of fantasy in North Carolina just my dad, my mom, and I. It was paradise, breakfast every morning, them surprising me with lunch everyday at school, the adventures after school, and the family dinners. Story time, movie time, and just family. Back then mom was just a nurse who made her own schedule pretty much and dad was a scientist who worked as a tutor for college and assisted science groups. They were so much fun it was so much love and care. Then one day it all disappeared, one day when my dad went for a store run for mom and I favorite desert dish of dads...

I remember it being a cold, dark, starless night and dad kissing us saying, "I will be back with favorite deserts for my favorite people! I love you and stay in the dungeon! Lock up!" "We love you!" we yelled back. Mom and I cuddled on the couch smiling and hugging excitedly waiting for dad to come back but minutes turned into a hour and then hours. We thought maybe it was busy, maybe he had to go to a different store, we were just scared got dressed and rushed to the store. When we pulled up to the store it had changed our lives forever... "Ma'am, ma'am we need your vehicle to keep moving please, keep moving!" the police yelled as mom rolled down her window to get a better view of the situation we pulled into. There was police everywhere, ambulances, crowds, workers, but mom and I was searching for dads car that's all we was worried about. That's all we could think about.

Then "the gold Pontiac gto!" I exclaimed with relief. "I see why its taking him so long probably at the door being nosey like everyone else" she said laughing with the feeling of relief to. We found a parking spot and held hands as we walked the wet pavement of regret. "Move back! move back! a man has been shot everyone go home! it isn't safe! move back!" the police aggressively screamed. My mom was catching a glimpse when she was tripped by some chanting man "Police need to protect, take out the threats!" as she started to push herself up she noticed the nappy curls, the black seeing glasses, the blue and yellow goofy button down, the blood.... The blood "NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" my mom screamed. She shoved her way through the crowd, through the police and flung her body onto my dads. My dad, I lost him that night and when mom let go of my hand as I stood there alone I felt I lost my mom also.

Everything changed when my mom stepped into the Pontiac drenched in blood and fled down the street behind the ambulance. As I watched the tears trickle down her face I saw every ounce of who she was leave her body. We awaited the news in the lobby both in shock, both in hysterics it wasn't until I heard the words from the doctor "I am sorry ma'am he didn't make it, we did everything we could," that I knew my life would be about finding and killing the man responsible at seven years old. After the funeral we drove up to Michigan where my grandma Rose lives, that's my dads mom. Mom could no longer live in our home anymore so she sold everything including the house and her car now here we are. Mom and I have always adored grandma Rose she was the sweetest elder anyone could ask for and very wise.

Well with all we were going through mom signed me up for school and was finishing up her classes to be a doctor. She worked in a court room as a receptionist to help around the house though grandma Rose suggested she focus on me and school. I felt mom used working as a escape from life, well me. Every night she puts me to bed she reads me a story then she rubs through my hair and explain all the ways I remind her of dad. She always kiss my forehead, smile, turn off the light, and cry lightly in the room next to me. I always lightly cry with her, we miss him he was our light and now that light is out. Months of this same routine turned into a couple years then one day, "You have to move on Delilah, that is what he would want you to do, find happiness" grandma said. Mom replied sadly, "How can I be happy when he was my happiness?" "Find that light in you and your son,'" she said calmly.

One day the date happened. I was nine years old when my mom kissed me good night to go on a date and my feelings was mixed with anger, sadness, and happiness all at once. Brad. From that night forward for two years they went on a bunch of dates and mom seemed a little happier then usual and I was still warped in darkness. I never saw her, while she was sad she pulled away and now her happiness didn't include me. Until it did. She had invited him to dinners at Grandma Rose house before but this one felt different. "So grandma Rose how do you feel about Brad here?" "Sweet, nerdy lawyer Brad here? He is a blessing in disguise and I love how he has brought happiness to this family again..." she said smiling, she looked at me and said "I know your dad would be happy to know that you live on, move on with his lasting memories." We continued to eat with many conversations of the night and then.

"So I have some news for you both. Brad asked me to marry him and he bought us a house, allowing me to be the owner." she exclaimed excitedly. Everyone at the table was happy at the table except me, I was disappointed and sad, I ran to my room slammed the door grabbed my dads picture and cried myself to sleep as I did every night. The next day we packed up everything and moved like forty five, minutes into the woods away from grandma. We were near a lake and it was a school like fifteen minutes up the street. We left behind grandma and the associates that make me happy or content to a place, new, where I knew no one and I knew no happiness.

Which leads up to why I cried that first day of school, after that remark the teacher made and I went to my seat that's when the bullying started to simmer. Not only was I the new kid but the new kid with a dead dad who think he is better then everyone because of the way he looked. It happened in the cafeteria as I was looking for somewhere to sit, somewhere I could find the nod of approval but it seemed I was searching forever. "What's up rich kid how's the poor mans food!" this big kid yelled at me as he slapped my tray to the ground. I just stood there in complete silence, just still. "What are you going to cry to your dead daddy?" he said laughing. "ooooohhhh" murmured the whole cafeteria. All I could do was run out the cafeteria leaving the faint laughter behind me. I ran straight into the bathroom stall and didn't leave until my watch read three forty five then I ran straight to my bus. Little did I know that the principle would call my mother about me missing school all day. I hated my life, I just wanted my dad.

Aboard the train 8:00pm

I pulled away from the glass looking around wondering where the attendant went but as I lifted to look she was no where to be found. That memory was so real and honestly made me think how it made me the man I am today. "Sir do you have your ticket out of here?" said a man smiling. "Sir like I told the woman before I cant find any ticket, I don't even know how I got on this train in the first place." I responded. "Who was it you spoke to again?" he asked. "Ummm it was a very beautiful woman and she said she would be right back when I asked her what I was on," I said nervously. "So you talked to some woman that's not here, you don't have a ticket, you don't know how you got here, let alone what transportation your on. What a day huh? Well let me go check what is going on. Do you know how long ago you saw this woman?" he asked looking confused. As I tried to remember I couldn't tell him how long ago it was since she been here, "I have no idea man," I said nervously. I am going crazy and I just need to clear my mind, where is service when you need it. I blew my breath and pressed back up against the window.

The Past.

"Hey buddy get your bags and meet us over at Mr. Roberts house," Brad yelled out as he rushed out the door. It was the day I was leaving off to the army, its been seven long years of agonizing pain pretending to be things I am not at that shithole school and these lonely ass woods. I was ready to go be away from everyone, I felt was a forced relationship, so I can build my own family. Mr. Robert threw me a going away party we became very close over the years a very nice, wise, crabby, old man. He was a pain but he was the one I'd miss the most. I know in society the choice of who I am missing most should be my mother. Now I have no hard feelings towards her but she was not there when I needed her most so the feelings I have is more of a sadness for the old man.

I took one more hard look around the room and grabbed my last bag. I smiled as I left these hallways and stairwell onto my life, my calling. I left the house to meet up with everyone at Mr. Roberts, everyone being mom and dad, my best friend Kevin, and my ex girlfriend harmony. I met Kevin on my twelfth birthday at Craig's cruisers. It was just mom, dad, and I for my birthday, Grandma Rose cant stand loud noises so she stayed home. So I saw Kevin sitting alone on a bench and that look in my eyes I have he had the same look. His life was nothing but a big obstacle course like mine and we found that out about each other that day when he joined us for food and cake. I had found out he lived five minutes up the street my mom met his and we have been inseparable every since. We both love anime, we both love puzzles and games, we love sleep over movie night, but nothing is better then D&D. We both love blue and we both were lonely souls and what's even crazier is that were from the same exact place. We both just moved here because of family situations mines being worst. We agreed to leave the past in the past and no girlfriends until we were at least sixteen so both of us can go out with our girls together. Thing is I was two years older but it was easy to agree on when I was twelve.

When I met harmony she was new to school and the most beautiful girl I had ever seen beautiful green eyes, dark brown hair, and lovely light brown skin. Her voice sounded like angels singing when she spoke I was in a trance. I had told Kevin who was now fifteen about Harmony and he said laughing "that was a old pact your seventeen and will be out of here soon I am happy for you bro, plus we broke that pack years ago when we kept being detectives on your past life." That was the happiest day of my life because I took her out to eat and to the movies on the perfect afternoon, while Kevin was busy so that was a plus. After I dropped her off at home we kissed and every since then we been inseparable also, its always us three together so we all became best friends. They knew everything about me and was there for me through it all the anger, tears, lies, and just through the battles.

Brad became tolerable over the years, he meant well but he was not my dad and our family was no where near as happy as it used to be. Well at least for all parties, I felt utterly alone and in a dark space, brad would sometimes come trying to give advice and help. I would tolerate a couple minutes before I turned over, slowly pulling the silky covers over my head. That's the only thing they were good at is giving advice and being absent. Work this, meeting that, dinner party this, and lets pretend to be that it was the most annoying lonely childhood but thank God for my friends and I can not forget Mr. Roberts.

Mr. Roberts became like a grandfather to me, I never knew my real one just old war stories. The very next day after Mr. Roberts called me a sissy I ended up having to use his phone because when I came from the bus no one was home. "May I use your phone," I said regretting even coming to ask. "He said why of course just hold the tears, I don't need no electrical problems" he mumbled in a grumpy manner. I called my mom, then Brad, and grandma Rose was the only one who answered. I told her I was at the neighbors, Mr. Roberts house, and I did not want to wait there but we both knew it was nothing she could do. I walked slowly out the old screen door with my head hung low, letting the ring from the creaky door fill my eardrums with anger. How could they forget about me my dad would of never forgotten, let alone let me ride the bus. I was constantly teased on how the rich boy parents don't care about him or the rich kid sits with his dead dad alone at the lunch table. School was a constant torture.

Mr. Roberts: So why you run out of here like a little pansy yesterday. Sit down here boy take this cookie and milk he said aggressively.

Me: I I just had a hard day and you made it worst is all sir

Mr. Roberts: he laughed and exclaimed how did I make it worst umm what is your name boy

Me: Elijah sir and you made it worst because you called me a sissy

Mr. Roberts: hmmmm so what was your problem little Eli

I could tell by that annoying smug on his face he still considered me a sissy and that he didn't get me but in my eyes following with a question against his beliefs said he was willing to listen.

Me: I am just new here. I don't know anyone and I hate that I am bullied all the time. Yesterday was just particularly harder because I am reminded alone of my dad being absent but when someone teases me about it I run feeling embarrassed when I should feel pissed sir and feel anger.

Mr. Roberts: he laughed particularly huh? Well what did your folks say when I sent you home crying.

Me: I laughed I ran straight pass them but the sad thing is that like routinely I cried myself to sleep hugging my dads picture. That night they never knew what happened I never told them and they didn't ask. They did that often just let me be alone but sometimes I wonder though I push that off is that what I really want.

Mr. Roberts: Well Eli that's a lot and I reckon on a daily your angry

Me: So angry sometimes at myself, sometimes my mom, a lot at my dad, and Brad makes me angry all the time.

Mr. Roberts: You have to let go of that anger Eli. Just know your dad leaving was a mission out of our control. Just like your dealing with your pain so is your mother. We cant decide on how others cope with the pain they carry and we should be more understanding rather we agree or not. Eli Brad must know of your mothers pain and yours you rebelling closes a door. He though is picking up your mothers problems and that Eli shows that he loves your mother. So don't you? Don't you want her to be happy also cause that is what he is doing for her. What about your dad don't you think he wants you happy while he is on his mission or does he want you to never let go making things harder on you and your mom.

Me: I do love my mom and I do want her happy.

That day as a little kid I thought a lot about what Mr. Roberts had told me and I tried to make it as easy as I could for my family but moving on from my dad was never going to happened I vowed to find and kill the man responsible for my dads death. I was eleven across the country I knew it was impossible but that is where I put all my anger and from that day forward all my energy went into self defense, reading papers and articles on what happened at the market that night, and hanging with my one friend at Mr. Roberts house after school until mom and Brad made it home. Nothing but games, adventures on my dads death, Mr. Roberts War stories, sleep overs, dinners, etc. He made life better and it was a honor him throwing my going away party.

Aboard the train 10:00pm

"Sir we did not find a name for your seat did you find your ticket out of here?" said Mr. Robert. I noticed as I slowly lifted my forehead from the glass remembering that old rough voice. "Mr. Roberts! Omg!" I yelled from my seat not looking like I was disturbing anyone anyway. "Man. I have no idea how I got on this train, I don't have any idea where my ticket is, and I also have no idea what time it is let alone a sense of it." "Ok, son he said what is your name on the ticket you can not find and that should solve all this," he laughed off. "Well Mr. Roberts my name is Elijah..." I stuttered confusingly. As he thanked me and walked away I could only imagine the times I was absent and the toll life takes on a elders mind. Man how did I end up on a train no phone, no watch just confusion and frustrations. I held my head back and closed my eyes thinking about...

The Past.

When I came home from the Army for good, I had visit on and off, I decided to try my field as a CIA agent in Virginia and that was the last time I saw Mr. Roberts. I had a party in Michigan at my mothers house, Mr. Roberts came over and we spoke for hours never-ending stories. With the place I bought Harmony and Kevin decided to move with me seeing how they just worked together as bounty hunters in reality but in there own little business they catch what the police leave behind or don't catch whatever you want to call it. Mom and dad decided to stay around for Mr. Roberts sake they say plus the house was pretty nice and peaceful. I found out while I was gone that Grandma Rose had passed away and that was one of the most horrible feelings in my life nothing cut more deep during that time.

Well we finally got on the road and we all started our lives Harmony and I got back together and actually got married. Our honey moon was the next day and she had my baby nine months later. Kevin had a different woman every night but that was his business I could tell he was searching for purpose and I was there to help him find it. He did soon get out of hand with the drinking but Harmony and I helped him through it. He told me of the only woman he loved being with one night while he was super drunk. He met her the night Harmony and I went on our honey moon. He explained it so detailing saying

I brought up to the house she was so beautiful. The most beautiful eyes and smile. I took her to my room and I gently kissed her neck while unbuttoning her dress. Letting it slip down her arms, then I came to the front and kissed down her perfect body across the chill bumps on her breast and boy was I hot. I'm telling you Eli I ate that woman like I never ate food in my life. The way she moaned out my name Kevin over and over again pulling my hair. You taking notes Eli? After that bud I bent her over giving her every inch and it was seconds before she creamed all over me man. It was crazy just in and out in and out over gain aggressively gets them every time. It didn't stop there no she took charge got up pushed me on the bed riding me so slow that I felt forever connected to her I leaned up and hugged her while she continued to go up and down slowly we looked into each other eyes, saw each others pain, life man and then we came together. Then she just disappeared man.

After telling that story I felt bad for him another drunken night he cant forget. With Harmony still bounty hunting with him and I was a agent we were all making good money and with each other so I just continued to be there for him no matter what he was my brother. During my time at the office I finally got the name of that bastard who killed my dad I must of missed his arrest as a young boy but I saw that he was giving a lesser charge and I was going to find out why. I remember I called Mr. Robert and told him the news that I finally got a name, that I found the guy. It was our secret though I didn't understand myself why I kept it one. Life went on, Harmony got pregnant, and of course the God dad was Kevin. We all lived liked a happy family and Kevin became more of a uncle around four years old at least that's what Lilah called him life was amazing since I was coming up with a welcome home plan for Mr. Jay Jackson. My fathers murderer.

I hadn't heard much from Mr. Roberts after Lilah second birthday. Brad had past away, he died in a tragic car accident one night on the way to the airport leaving Virginia. He had been there for a business trip and that night we had a beer shared some laughs and he kissed lilah leaving into the night. Hours later a hit and run accident in a workers van that was abandoned. Mom found out about it on the news as well as I did, that was when Lilah was two years old and the last time I heard from mom again. It was so devastating not knowing where she could be, I had driven out there multiple times when I had time but no one ever answered not even at Mr. Roberts house. The last time I went was for Lilah fourth birthday and I turned away from those cold, lonely, brown, broken woods that brought nothing but sadness. I defiantly wanted to be on the case but since Brad was considered my dad they wouldn't let me join but I have friends and now I had to birds to kill.

Aboard the train 12:00am

"Sir I think we found your tick tick tick tick tick," a voice stuttered. I woke up and "OMG! Kevin! wtf dude why am I on this train! what is going on!" I screamed over and over again trying to get his attention but he just stuttered tick tick tick and the lights flickered, and the train seemed to pick up speed as if we weren't dashing through infinity already. I was so scared people were still at there windows calm and I was confused and didn't understand. I stumbled back to my seat looked behind me "Harmony?" I whimpered, scared out of my mind. I looked in the seat ahead of me Jay Jackson, across from me looked like Brad but couldn't be, and where did Mr. Roberts go. That man and who was that beautiful woman? Where did they go? What is up with this train? So many questions was going through my mind, confusion, anger, and just no... My body stood straight up, out of my control and my head went back then.

How I Ended up here on this train

Harmony: Elijah honey we need to talk

Me: Of course. What do you want to talk about honey

*Ring *Ring

Me: What's up Kevin kind of in the middle of something

Kevin: They found Mr. Roberts meet me at our spot! I need to tell you something!

Me: Ok. Harmony get your coat were leaving.

Harmony: Wait! I need to tell you something!

Me: It can wait until we get to the bar! Harmony it could be my mom.

So we grabbed our coats and left. I could tell something was on Harmony's mind heavy I knew her but I knew it was not anything we couldn't get through together. We got to the bar and Kevin looked super worried and he had already ordered drinks so I knew this must be heavy but I felt like this was good news, I felt hopeful. Well we all get comfortable as Kevin started off...

Kevin: Bro I love you and I have for a long time but I need to let you know about!!!

Harmony interuppted

Harmony: about us

Me: wait what?

Kevin: No! Harmony not now this is about Brad!

I was irritated for a slight moment but when he mentioned Brads name I had to refocused and visit those unimportant thoughts later. What could Kevin know about Brad though?

Kevin: I am so sorry man but I was on a job and a car came out of no where flying past a red light and I hit his car. I didn't even know it was Brad until you spoke about it when I got home after being gone for those couple of weeks. I was laying low cause I cant get in anymore trouble. I didn't know man. I am so sorry! It was a accident! he sobbed.

Me: AND WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH MR. ROBERTS I said angrily.

Kevin: Apparently he was with family in northern Michigan, the mailman seen him at home.

I left the table and rushed to the bathroom and called Mr. Roberts.

Me: OMG! Mr. Roberts how are you? Where have you been? I missed you old man!! Have you heard from my mother?

Mr. Roberts: Hello son he said very sickenly. I have been way better and my family did all they could for a old man. I wish you were out here with me son so we could have one more hurrah but I will die where I always wanted so I am happy. So far as your mother son she left for Virginia when I left. I told her how long I'd be gone and she said when you reach out let you know where she was.

Me: Die?!

Mr. Roberts: Yes son I am dying and it will be tonight son I am so sorry unless by some miracle my purpose is still out there I love you Eli and so does your mother. She out there watching you she will reveal herself when she is ready. And so will your friends. Just know I am truly sorry. Bye Eli

Me: What?

The phone hung up. I went back into the bar and I hadn't even thought about what Harmony had said I was to happy knowing my mother was alive and thinking what Kevin murdering Brad had to do with Mr. Roberts being back into town.

Me: So Kevin what did Mr. Roberts have to do with you killing my dad and keeping it a secret for three years.

Kevin: Well when I got into the accident and ran. I got home and Harmony said you had just went to the store so I got washed up packed my clothes and got a ticket to Michigan to Mr. Roberts house and I told him everything. When he left he let me stay and I saw you out here once but I just let you knock cause I was scared.

Harmony: I lied and said he went to visit family for a few weeks so nothing looked suspicious.

Me: So you knew! Along with Mr. Roberts huh That my best friend killed my dad! Wow!

Harmony: That's not all. We thought we might as well tell you everything. That summer you went away to the army Kevin and I got really close. I was torn up about you and every night was a total nightmare. Kevin got me through everything though your letters awaited and the awaited visits were paradise it wasn't nearly enough to sure the pain I felt on a daily basis, the worry I felt, and the fear.

Me: So your close. What? Closer then us?

Kevin: Yes. And I am so sorry I couldn't control the feelings for that grew on me watching how strong she was everyday waiting on you. So when you visit we agreed to just put things on hold. It broke my heart but who was I to feel that way right.

Me: And when I moved back why did you decide to move with me if you had feelings for each other why not just stay your unloyal asses in Michigan? Why bother? I said angrily standing up

Harmony: Please sit down Elijah! I decided to come because I was confused at what it was with Kevin with you I knew what I wanted I knew what we could be. I loved you. I love you so much. Things just change.

Me: Things just change? You loved me? What is this Harmony what are you saying you dont love me anymore?

Harmony: I am saying I love you but it wasn't enough.

Me: It wasn't enough in what way Harmony look at me

Kevin: She wanted to be with us both so badly. On your honey moon night when she was meeting you at the airport we were together beforehand. Together together which is why she told you to go ahead and she would meet you there because she needed a few things no we were having sex before she went to be with you.

Harmony: I am sorry she cried I would of been told you it I didn't know how...

Me: So Lilah

She just looked at me and cried. This is why they were telling me because I would find out sooner or later since Lilah isn't my daughter. Not because they care or love me. They pretended around me. They had sex and held a relationship behind my back he told about this night in detail knowing it was my wife he had been with. I blacked out. Grabbed my coat and left with only anger in my vision. With revenge on my mind I went to go prepare in the night to end Jay Jackson no matter the consequences I had nothing to lose. Nothing worth living for. Little did I know in the night my mom saw my hurt and heard the name of her husband killer. She followed Harmony and Kevin to a unknown residence and we they went in she got out and poured gasoline all around the house all on the doors and window edges. She peered through the gas and saw them yelling and arguing. Talking to what sound like Kevin long lost dad. She stood there trying to hear what they were saying as she felt around for a lighter because in her mind she had nothing to lose either. She realized there was no lighter in her holey dingy coat pocket so she ran to her car as I ran into the back door.

Me: What the fuck are you guys dong here I said holding a gun to Jay Jackson face.

Kevin: What are you doing here and why do you have a gun.

Harmony: Please Eli we couldn't control our feelings we would never hurt you purposely ever you have to know that. We love you

Me: Love me? I laughed. Go to hell! Why are yaw here with the man who killed my father?

Kevin: This is my father

Me: Your fath......

We all turned looking around, smelling smoke. All I saw was red in front of me. The house was on fire and we were all going to die.

Me: Was it worth it? killing my father ruining a Childs' life, a mothers life? I said as I pointed the gun

Jay Jackson: I regretted it everyday of my life. I was forced in that life and I was forced to leave, not be involved with any cop.

Me: Well that is unfortunate and now you will get what you deserve. We all will!

Aboard the train 2:00am

I fell down into my chair and everything went back to normal or as normal as it could be. "Do you have your ticket out of here or are you staying?" said the beautiful woman in her angelic voice. I handed her my ticket, I was ready to go home. I was ready to accept life and find my purpose. I had died that night but it was in my hands to choose. I chose to live! To go fix mistakes. Mr. Roberts died that night, harmony and Kevin moved in with Jay. I spoke to them rarely only because of my daughter Lilah. Then I met Perqwaila, Lilah school teacher and I fell in love. Lilah turned eighteen and left for college, starting her new life away from us. We got to see her often every other week and it was amazing. I am writing this story from the train where my wife and I help people see there life and make there choice. We past away in a plane accident a couple years later after Lilah left. I would of never guest my future self would guide me into choosing to live. Do you have your ticket out of death?