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The Toilet in the Forbidden City

Fiction

By BlossomParkerPublished 2 years ago 4 min read
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Beijing is the imperial city, and the imperial city of the imperial city is the Forbidden City. To put it mildly, after the Republic of China expelled the Xuan Tong, the compound was used as a museum, where nationals could visit. Thus, the Forbidden City will always have walking nationals and sitting nationals, sitting nationals who are tired of walking. As long as the Forbidden City is not accessible by car, the courtyard will always have walking nationals and tired of walking and sitting nationals, because the Forbidden City is large, and it is impossible to change the small.

This truth, Lao Wu is long thought through.

Lao Wu could not figure out, Lao Wu was queuing outside the public toilet outside the Jumbo Museum, a bit of a physical emergency, so suddenly could not figure out in the early years of the emperor's eunuchs three palaces and six courtyards of the imperial army to the court of civil and military ministers, so many people where to go to the toilet every day? Old Wu with this in mind, specifically to the Forbidden City for three weeks, the conclusion is that there was no toilet, because the inspection down, now the public toilets, are the year of the small room converted or newly built.

Old Wu was then very worried for the royal ancient people.

Lao Wu from an academic standpoint on the issue of eating not worry, but ate Dan ate, excretion is a certainty, this sure problem how not to find a sure solution to the space? Eating is not a problem in the royal family, but excretion is a problem in Lao Wu's heart.

Old Wu then went to Lao Shen. Old Shen eighty years old, when the palace as a rough eunuch, now living alone in the Chaoyang Gate Street. Old Wu found old Shen, asked for advice, old Shen said in a thin voice, ah, with a bucket, the bottom of the bucket lay fried dates, shit smashed down, dates light, will turn around, shit will sink to the bottom. The scorched dates are fragrant and can cover up the smell of anything. The palace has a single eunuch to carry the bucket out.

The old Wu asked where to carry it to? Old Shen said to carry out of the palace. Wu asked where to carry it out of the palace and then carry it to? Old Shen stammered, saying he was not a professional in carrying shit. These years, eunuchs have become a national treasure, often on the film, Lao Shen can not answer the old Wu's question, a little hung up, it changed the subject to reveal the old Wu eunuchs also have a sex life secret.

After returning home, old Wu while sighing at the actual and imposing Jiao Zaoer dung bucket, while the street to the public toilet to solve a moment of privacy.

Beijingers call the public toilet for the official thatch. Old Wu thinks this may be because the earliest street toilet is the official family repair, so called the official toilet. But this "earliest" early to what time, Wu has not been proven out. Ming and Qing dynasties or Republic of China? Maybe there was when the metropolis of Yuan? In short, the right to invent is not in the people? The people's government, or how not to call the people's toilet it?

The eight pits of the public toilet squatting four, are familiar neighbors, is discussing the Xuanwu District Hufang Bridge newly built a government cottage, a boy without a room to get married, overnight the men's toilet pit filled as a bridal chamber, early this morning, everyone pushed the door, the bride and groom are on their honeymoon!

Is laughing, Lao Wu next to the man asked Lao Wu, you have a surplus of paper?

Lao Wu understood that the next child did not bring the paper, straight up to pull out the pocket, a hollow, only to know that they also did not bring, asked another person, you bring a surplus of paper?

Ask around, it turns out that four people did not bring paper, and then chatted up, and so on to see the results of another person to come.

Sure enough, another person came, we were too embarrassed to ask first, and so that the unbuckled pants squatting, Wu asked you to bring more paper? A few of us coincidentally forgot to bring paper. The man was shocked, said, bad bad I thought the official cottage in the paper on someone came in.

Five people are not talking, listening to the women's room next door someone chatting.

Waiting for nearly an hour, the official outhouse actually did not come in again people. People began to complain about the government, saying that there should be paper in the official toilet for everyone to use well. Lao Wu said, they did not bring their own said they did not bring, the government control of the sky and earth also control the ass wipe paper? The government also gave you jiaozaoer it! The other four people looked at Lao Wu and did not understand what "Jiao Zao Er" meant, nor did they understand how Lao Wu suddenly stood up.

Old Wu tied his pants and said, "I dried mine.

Historical
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BlossomParker

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