The Templar Survival Guide to New York

Hobo Emma's astrologer suddenly receives a Vatican band signal from a smart speaker in St. Peter's Basilica claiming to be the new Pope.2 Richard gets down on one knee to listen to the bull, and discovers that the other side is announcing pizza promo codes in Morse code.3

“This is blasphemy!” He roars into the AirPods microphone, only to trigger Siri's worship mode, “Amen, a drone sprinkling service has been scheduled for you.”

Quantum takes the opportunity to drop in mechanical cardinals, robots that carry laser rosary beads. Richard converts a takeout holding tank into a confessional and uses hot sauce to draw exorcisms on the robots' foreheads.1 When the mechanical legions die en masse, Emma deciphers their core commands-and actually mines bitcoins to recharge the True Pope's phone.