The Subconscious Mind

The Subconscious Mind: A Journey to Nowhere

Susie Schaefer

The rhythm of the boat swaying back and forth across the water kept my mind in a dreamy fog; the dark void between asleep and awake. I drifted back into the dark and weightlessness, the waves rocking me to a lullaby of peace and calm.

I wasn’t sure if I was dreaming, or merely in another dimension. I heard someone whisper, “Wake up, we’re almost there.” Whose voice I heard was of no consequence to me; I was in a state of ambivalence, succumbing to the cocoon of unconsciousness. Faintly, in the distance, I heard the sound of the lighthouse foghorn, as the spotlight graced over my closed eyes. Yes. We were almost there, at the beach house where I grew up along the sandy shores of North Carolina.

I heard the foghorn again, but strangely it sounded different, more urgent this time. Was it the familiar sound I knew so well? Or wasn’t it? Again, this time louder. My mind searched for recognition of the sound…not a foghorn…a train whistle? How could that be? There are no train tracks along the beach.

As my brain struggled to make sense of subconscious thought, the light passed over my eyes again. It wasn’t the lighthouse, but something else. With immense effort, I gradually opened my eyes, coming to the realization that it wasn’t the motion of the waves I was feeling, but the steady movement of a train, the clicking of the tracks below becoming louder as I entered into consciousness. Yes. An air whistle, and the light passing over my face flashed through the window as the train passed street lamps in the dark of night.

I slowly sat up, my body aching as though I was a thousand years old, not comprehending where I was or how I had gotten myself onto a train. My head throbbed with the dull reminder of walking home from my best friends’ apartment after an evening of popcorn, wine, and binging romance movies. But how did I get here, and where was this train headed?

I checked my coat pockets for my cell phone, to no avail. No keys, no phone, and no train ticket were to be found, just a five-dollar bill, my trusty Swiss Army knife, and a stick of peppermint gum. Looking out the window, the landscape was unrecognizable except for the occasional glimpse of a far-away town. Deep down, I knew I was in another country, but where?

As I rose to my feet, the train continued down the tracks at warp speed, the horn blasting briefly as it flew through countryside intersections with no sign of stopping. Still groggy and a bit dizzy, I braced myself to stand while the train relentlessly jogged across the tracks, clicking its way into the unknown. I reached for the door of the private sleeper car where I stood and grasped the cold, bronze handle, giving it a turn. Just as I began to open the door, it was yanked out of my hand and an ominous dark creature stood in the doorway. With a swish, I felt the prick of a needle in my neck and fell backwards onto the sleeper bed. Lights out. Again.

I was jolted awake by a series of loud bangs, and my gut knew it was gunfire. My eyes wide as sauces and my pupils dilated, the fight or flight instinct kicked in. How long had I been out? It was still dark outside, and the train seemed to continue on its high-speed trajectory, so it couldn’t have been long.

This time, I knew I had to come up with a plan to get out of the sleeper car and avoid the creature standing guard. I didn’t have time to consider why I was being held captive or ruminate about the reason; time was moving quickly and I had to get moving. I gingerly stepped into the adjoining bathroom as quietly as possible, and looked for a way out. Nothing. There was no window in the lavatory, only a sink and toilet. I closed the door behind me, feeling just a bit more safe in the closet-sized space.

Fishing in my pocket, I pulled out my knife and opened it with the screwdriver. I quickly got to work on the screws in the sink, praying for enough time to dismantle it in silence. I dropped each of the screws into the inside pocket of my coat and slowly lifted the sink out of the wooden vanity. Was there enough room for me to wiggle my way out?

Just then, I heard the door to the cabin open. I silently lowered the sink back into place and set the faucet to look undisturbed. A knock on the bathroom door was insistent. “Just a minute,” I called out, and flushed the toilet for emphasis. As I opened the door, the creature was standing in the middle of the cabin, fully clothed in combat gear and holding a tranquilizer gun. Its face was covered, but the back of its head resembled that of a Komodo dragon, with a scaly texture that wrinkled when it moved.

I slowly stepped though the doorway into the cabin and closed the bathroom door behind me. I should have been terrified, but a resolute calm came over me. The creature seemed satisfied with my compliance and shot me again with the tranquilizer, catching me as a fell forward and steering me onto the bed. This time the dart was lodged in the collar of my coat, just barely grazing the skin on my neck. Not noticing that it hadn’t penetrated the skin, the creature grabbed the dart and snapped it onto his belt. I lay motionless on the bed, pretending to be passed out, as the creature left the cabin and closed the door. Now was my time!!

The train continued to hurl down the tracks, and the air whistle blew again. With warp speed and stealth, I re-entered the bathroom, lifted the sink from the vanity and set it on the floor. I removed my jacket and stashed the pocket knife, cash, and gum in my pants pocket, hopping up onto the vanity and easing my feet into the hole left from the sink. As I looked down, I could see the train tracks swooshing below, knowing that this might be the very last moment of my life.

I wriggled down into the hole and held onto the vanity for dear life. My feet just bumped the railroad ties as I worked my way onto the lowest point possible under the train. I took a deep breath and heard the voice again, “Wake up, we’re almost there.” Three. Two. One. Let go.

I released my grip and fell onto the tracks with a thump and a moan. I was still while the train rushed over top of me, the cool wind on my face and the click of the wheels on the steel tracks. After what seemed like an eternal loop of train cars overhead, the last one passed and I was staring up at a star-studded sky in the pale moonlight. I was free at last.