The Society

04/21/21

The Society

Jan 28

The dreams keep getting worse. Sometimes they’re so loud, it’s like a bomb is going off. Other times, it’s deafening silence. Have you ever noticed how when it’s that quiet, the silence has its own sound? I guess that’s why we say it’s deafening. And there are screaming people. I don’t know which is worse: the dreams in which I can hear them, or the dreams in which i see them frozen with their mouths open and eyes bulging. There are bodies everywhere; most are motionless on the ground. The little bodies are the most disturbing because I know two things with full certainty: they are children, and they are dead. And there isn’t anything you can do for the dead.

Jan 31

Dr. Zimmerton says these dreams are normal, but that everything is ok— that I am safe. He’s the leader of this place— The Society. It sounds kind of ominous to me, but he explained we call it The Society because we have found this place where we are together and safe.

Everyone here seems off, somehow. It’s hard to explain because I can’t quite put my finger on it. Everyone seems happy nearly all of the time, and maybe it is because we have each other and solace, but something about it sends chills down my spine.

Dr. Zimmerton says he knows the transition to living here is hard, but that I will grow to love it here. And maybe he’s right, but right now, I just feel uncomfortable and unsure.

Feb 2

I’m having the dreams every night. Dr. Zimmerton gave me a bottle of pills in our session today. I’m supposed to take one of the tiny white pills every night before I go to sleep. He made it clear that it is extremely important I take one every night. They’re supposed to help me stop having the dreams.

Feb 6

I haven’t had a single dream in the past few days. It’s so relieving knowing I won’t have the dream. I used to be terrified to go to sleep. I feel safe now.

Feb 7

I woke up this morning to Ashley screaming. She’s the girl in the room next to mine. I think she might’ve had one of the dreams. We’ve all had them. It’s strange though because she told me a few weeks ago that Dr. Zimmerton gave her pillls like mine to stop the dreams. I wonder if the pills only reduce the chance of a dream. If so, I wonder when I’ll have one next. It’s such a relief to not have them; I really don’t want them to come back.

Feb 10

I’m so happy I’m here in The Society. Everyone is so friendly and positive. I don’t think I’ve ever met such a wonderful group of people. Their joy is infectious. I’ve never been as happy as I am here.

Feb 12

I haven’t seen Ashely since I woke up to her screaming. I guess I haven’t seen her since the day before that, since I didn’t technically see her that morning.

I asked Dr. Zimmerton about her during our session today. He said she’s doing ok; she’s in the infirmary but will be back soon. I don’t know why she’s there. Maybe it wasn’t the dreams that made her scream. I don’t know how she could’ve gotten hurt, though.

Feb 16

Ashley came back from the infirmary today. I passed her in the hallway on my way to the cafeteria for dinner. She looked pale and had an IV in her left arm, connected to a little rolling stand with a large bag full of clear liquid attached. I guess she must’ve gotten hurt somehow. I have no other explanations for the constant flow of medication into her bloodstream.

Feb 19

I had one of the dreams again last night. I told Dr. Zimmerton about it in our session today. He gave me a new bottle of pills and said it was just a higher dose of the same medication I’ve been taking the past few weeks. I really hope this new dose prevents any chance of having the dreams. I’ve gotten used to falling asleep more easily, knowing I wont dream.

Feb 23

I think something is wrong. I've been reading through my old entries today. Someone was caught at lunch with a journal. They’re strictly prohibited, which is why mine stays hidden between the dresser and wall at all times when I’m not writing in it. Anyways, it got me curious why keeping a journal is so strongly not allowed. Reading my entries, I was reminded how wrong this place used to feel. The Society made me feel off and uncomfortable before. I used to be suspiscious, but I’ve been perfectly content since I started taking the pills Dr. Zimmerton gave me. It can’t be a coincidence that I’m happy now when I felt so unsafe before. I think I’m going to stop taking the pills.

Mar 2

I haven’t taken any of the pills in a week now. I tell Dr. Zimmerton that I am and that they’re working great when he asks during our sessions. Ashley is still attached to the IV and I’m starting to wonder if the meds they’re pumping into her vein are the same meds I’m supposed to be taking every night.

Mar 4

I can’t believe how comfortable I felt here two weeks ago. Without the meds, it feels too wrong here. Everyone is still too happy. And kind of complacent. It’s a strange combination. And most of the time, people don’t have any expression on their face, and when they do, it takes a while to get there. And no one laughs. This place is freaking me out.

Mar 5

I asked Ashley today if she knew what medication is being dripped through her IV. She said it’s the liquid form of our evening pills. I guess my suspiscions were right. Is this what will happen to me if someone finds out I’m not taking the pills? Will I be forcefully drugged against my will? This place is terrifying and I don’t want to be here another day.

May 6

Do they drug us simply to help us sleep more peacefully? I feel like that is naive thinking. Everyone here is brain-washed. Do they do it to control us? That seems more likely, as disturbing as that is. Why do they want to stop the dreams though? The dreams don’t affect The Society. Unless they’re dangerous somehow. But to who? The Society as a whole? I don’t know why else they’d bother to stop us from having the dreams.

Mar 9

I’ve been flushing the pills down the toilet. I’m worried Dr. Zimmerton will find out somehow. He’s been lookin at me in a weird way the last few days. I tell him I haven’t had any of the dreams whenever he asks. There shouldn’t be a way he knows, but he looks at me like he does. I’m worried.

Mar 13

My journal is gone. I got back to my room after lunch and went to grab my notebook, but it’s missing. I’m writing this on a napkin I have. I’m panicking quite a bit. I don’t want to be connected to an IV like Ashley. I don’t want to be brain-washed again.

Mar 14

I’m not supposed to meet with Dr. Zimmerton today, but a note was left under my door to go to his office. I think this is the end. They know for sure and will hook me up to an IV like Ashley. I will be brain-washed again. I don’t know if I’ll even remember any of this. My memories are foggy from before I came here. I’m sure the’ll erase these memories, too. I’m going to fold this napkin and the one from yesterday in my sock. I will hopefully still have them after they drug me up. I’ll be able to warn myself. Don’t trust Dr. Zimmerton and don’t take the meds. Find out why the dreams are dangerous.

Mar 15

Today I arrived at this place called The Society. Except I’ve been here before. I found two folded up napkins with notes in my sock this morning. The notes are in my handwriting and are dated for yesterday and the day before. They warned me not to trust the meds or Dr. Zimmeron. I don’t remember him or this place, but I’ve clearly been here before. It’s too late to not take the meds; they have me connected to an IV with a bag of presumably the medication I’m not supposed to trust.

Mar 18

I can’t figure out who Ashley is. My note to myself mentioned an Ashley. She’s supposedly connected to an IV like I am, but I haven’t seen anyone else with an IV. Part of me wants to ask my neighbor, Thomas, if he knows who Ashley is, but I’m not supposed to know she exists. Finding her probably wouldn’t do anything for me, anyways. She is on the same mind control medication as I am. She probably won’t have any information.

Mar 20

My note mentioned dreams— I’m supposed to find out why they’re dangerous— but I don’t know what dreams the note was referring to. I haven’t had any dreams that I can remember. I might be able to ask Thomas. Maybe he’ll know what the note meant.

Mar 22

I asked Thomas about the dreams this morning. I asked if he evader has weird dreams and what they are. He looked a little confused because I’m supposed to be new here and not have the dreams since I have the IV. He said he used to have dreams but hasn’t since he started the meds. He dreamed of a bombing. There were fires and people everywhere. He said a lot of the people were dead, but that some were still alive and screaming.

They sound like atrocious dreams, and I’m so glad I don’t remember having them. I wish I wasn’t being drugged against my will, but I’m relieved I don’t dream.