The smell of winter.

Somewhere near the edge of a frozen pond...

"You look like you’re having a lot of fun skating around on the frozen pond rabbit. Just love those pirouettes. You are so nimble the way you move on the ice, like a real snow fairy. I wish that I could move with such perfect grace.”

“Huh?...AAH! A BEAR!”

“Don’t run away.”

“You’re not fooling me this time bear. You are not using me to wipe your ass with today.”

“Oh that. You’re not still upset about that, are you? Heh heh heh.”

“Who wouldn’t be? That’s just damned impolite.”

“I’m sorry rabbit, I’ll ask next time.”

“ No. Don’t ask. Don’t even think about it.”

“So, you like surprises?”

“What!? No. Just don’t do it. Disgusting...That damned skunk has been stalking me all week. I’m sure that it has a crush on me now.”

“Aw, that’s cute. Love is in the air.”

“There was something in the air alright and it certainly wasn’t love.”

“Can you teach me how to skate rabbit?”

“It’s the middle of winter bear. Shouldn’t you be in bed?”

“Mrs. Bear snores like a stuck chainsaw.”

“Why aren’t you in bed rabbit?”

“I have a houseful and they keep taking all the blankets.”

“So you might as well teach me how to skate rabbit. I want to learn how to do it with grace and poise like you. Like a butterfly on ice.”

“Um...no.”

“Why?”

“I don’t trust you. Butterflies don’t give you the impression that they will rip your head off just to see what it looks like. Besides, there’s that toilet paper thing.”

“What if I promise to wait till I get home before using the toilet? You know rabbit if a disease ever broke out that devastated the animal population, ass wipes could become very valuable.”

“Praise my pure white soft fluffiness all you like bear it ain’t happening.”

“I’ll be your best friend.”

“Is that a threat? I don’t need friends like you bear.”

“Other than a little honest mistake. What’s so bad about me rabbit?”

“Mistake? There was nothing honest about it. You purposely reached out, grabbed me up, and used me to scratch your ass...crack.”

“Well I was having a little bother and you did say you didn’t mind.”

“I meant that I didn’t mind my own crap in my fur when you asked if I didn’t mind crap in my fur. Not your crap.”

“Hey, what are you up to bear?”

“Just having a chat with the rabbit, cougar.”

“You gonna eat that when you’re finished with it?”

“Why?”

“Just wanting to know if it’s a pet or something to you bear.”

“Doesn’t anyone sleep around here? I am nobody’s pet.”

“I wouldn’t go telling the cougar that rabbit.”

“So if the rabbit isn't your pet then you won't mind me making a little snack outta him?”

“I am not his pet because I have a working relationship with him. Ain’t that right bear?”

“Um, yeah, I think so rabbit.”

“What kind of working relationship, stew ingredient? Are you his skate instructor or something? Hahahaha.”

“Yes.”

“Oh cool, rabbit.”

“You’re going to teach this clumsy big meat raffle how to skate on ice?”

“Yes, he is cougar. Isn’t that right rabbit? He’s going to teach me how to dance like a butterfly on ice.”

“Have you ever seen a butterfly on ice bear? They die.”

“It’s all in the technique cougar come and try it with us.”

“Hang on there bear. One predator around here is too much.”

“Ah, she’s harmless rabbit aren’t you cougar?”

“Completely.”

“Okay, the first thing we are going to learn is called the pursuit. Bear runs and cougar you pursue him.”

“Sounds good so far. Here I come bear ready or not.”

“Run bear she’s nearly on you. Ooo... you didn’t have to hit her that hard bear. Serves you right cougar, biting is cheating.

Run bear. Ouch, that must have hurt? That tree just came out of nowhere. Get off that cat I think you winded her, she wasn’t expecting you to bounce back off that tree I bet.

Climb the tree bear, nice and high. I wouldn’t go clawing at his butt if I were you cougar. Ho, a face full of fart. I warned you cougar. You had better look out, the bears coming for you, he looks angry and he’s limping. That's it bear, put her in a headlock. Aw, don’t start chewing on her ears bear. She’ll look silly without them, ain’t that right cougar?”

“Let me go, you big oaf.”

“Well stop playing rough cat. Someone will get seriously hurt.”

“That was the plan bear.”

“Now why would you want to hurt me cougar?”

“To see what you taste like.”

“I don’t taste as good as cat.”

“When it comes to tenderness bear meat wins hands down.”

“Are you trying to flatter me to death cougar?”

“Can we come and play?”

“Where did that come from? Oh, over that side. Of course wolf.”

“Are you nuts bear?”

“What’s wrong with the wolf bringing his family down to play on the frozen pond cougar?”

“Really bear? Well, I’ll just take the rabbit and leave you to the dogs...where the hell did that rabbit go?”

“Dunno cougar I just hope you can dance like a butterfly because the wolves are starting to test the ice on their side of the pond.”

“Don’t you listen bear? Butterflies die on ice. Those wolves will most likely go for me rather than waste energy on a big oaf like you.”

“I believe so cougar. Cats are nice to eat.”

“There’s nowhere to run on this side of the pond. The best place is across the ice to that edge of the pond. You’ve got to save my ass bear. Cats and dogs have never gotten on throughout all of history. They will tear me apart if they so much as latch their mangy jaws onto my fur.”

“Maybe we can save each other’s ass?”

“Just do something bear, anything, before they get here. Ew, but not that. You just took a dump on the ice bear? Ew...wha, what are you doing? Bear put me down. Don’t you dare wipe your...Eeeeeeew. Yuck!”

“Let’s see if they’ll want to touch you now cougar.”

“Ew, ew, ew... I don’t even want to touch me now bear. You know how we cats like to lick ourselves.”

“That will help you get over that bad habit cougar. You can thank me later.”

“Thank you for what? Using other animals as toilet paper is not a good thing.”

“He’s got a habit of doing things like that.”

“Where did you come from rabbit? Come here.”

“I don’t think so cougar besides you smell funny now. Oh, here comes that horny skunk I was trying to escape earlier. I got myself into a slippery mess trying to regain my balance while attempting to cross the frozen lake. That’s why I was waving my paws around, to keep my balance not trying to dance like a butterfly when that bear showed up. So bye-bye cougar I’m gone.”

“Everything’s going to be alright cougar, the wolves noticed that skunk coming and have taken off. I didn’t need to use you as an ass wipe after all. Aw, look the skunks coming to see if we are okay. You can show him how grateful you are cougar when he gets here.”

“Well thank you for showing up when you did skunk. What the hell are you staring at? Pull your tongue back in I am not that type of cougar.”

“Run cougar, that’s it dance like a butterfly.”

Next Story.

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