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The Rhythm of the Attic

I will find it...

By MK ColbertPublished 3 years ago Updated 3 years ago 7 min read
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Photo Courtesy of Parker Coffman @UnSplash

Somethin’ bad was happenin’. I knew somethin’ bad was happenin’ cause momma decided to homeschool me for first grade, but she was always too sick to teach me for long. After she fixed daddy his breakfast and lunch for work, she would give me a book to read and a snack and go back to bed for most of the day. This was not like my momma at all… Momma was strong, funny, loved to make chocolate chip cookies, and when she would sing outside the birds would sing with her and the sun would shine brighter.

But I could feel momma wasn’t gettin’ better. I mean her hair was gettin’ thin and clumpy like spaghetti noodles with no sauce and her eyes had these dark circles around them. I could tell she wasn’t feelin’ good but every time I would ask her how she was, she would say, “I’m fine Billy.”

She would pat me on the head, give me a smile, and walk away.

I hardly ever saw momma eat. I would try to give her some of my snacks but she wouldn’t take ‘em. We would play hide and seek but momma often fell asleep wherever she was hidin’, so I would always find her. I wondered why daddy never talked to momma or me that much. It was almost like we didn’t exist. He often went to the basement and left us upstairs sometimes not comin’ up for days.

This made momma even sadder. I would catch her sittin’ on the floor in the closet crying sometimes and all I could do is wrap my arms around her until she stopped. She never told me what was wrong but she would say, “Billy, this is not your problem, I’m supposed to look after you, not you lookin’ after me. Promise. We are goin’ to be okay.” I would nod in agreement because that’s what momma said so I believed her.

Over time daddy and momma would begin to argue more, so momma would send me to the attic before daddy got home, especially if she knew from early that mornin’ that the evenin’ was goin’ to be a bad day. I hated goin’ up in the attic but momma said this was the safest place to be when daddy came home angry.

She gave me a flashlight and my backpack of snacks, a few toys, my favorite books, a blanket, a bottle of water, and a juice box. I knew that meant that it would be a long night. I loved my momma for tryna keep me safe, but I didn’t understand why we just didn’t leave.

I could see her searchin’ through the hallway closet frantically for her broom. Momma quickly grabbed it, closed the door, and used the broomstick handle to lower the attic stairs. Momma stooped down, reached over, and placed her hands on my face while starin’ into my hazel eyes.

“Billy, I know your only five and you may not quite understand everything right now but I think you're old enough for me to try to explain it to ya, your dad has something very special that belongs to me and I’m unable to leave him until I find it, if I try to leave before I have it, I will get even sicker and I won’t be here anymore and I refuse to leave you by yourself.”

“Okay, momma, I’ll help you find it. I don’t want to be alone.”

“No, baby, don’t you worry about that, I’ll take care of it. I just need you to be safe.”

“But I’m good at findin’ things.”

“I know you are, Billy.”

A tear ran down momma’s face. It made me sad when she cried. I kissed her on her cheek.

“It’s gonna be okay momma, promise, I’ll find it!”

Momma stood up and started to smile.

“What a brave boy I have! I love you so much!”

“I love you too.”

Momma reached down and gave me a big hug. I loved momma’s hugs, they were warm, long, and she always smelled like vanilla ice cream but now it was time for me to go. I could feel momma pull away, but I didn’t want the hug to end. She patted me on the head and went over all the rules again about being in the attic. No runnin’, no jumpin’, no talkin’, and if I must use the bathroom use the yellow pail in the corner.

I started up the creaky stairs with my backpack and flashlight. I looked back to see momma lookin’ at me. She motioned me to continue up the stairs. As I reached the top, I turned on my flashlight to get ready for the darkness that would soon come. The attic was closed behind me. It was hard to hear anything once in the attic. I could barely make out muffled voices and slightly hear the chirpin’ of birds that came to sit for a short time on our roof.

It was dark, dusty, and stuffy. I could only catch glimpses of light from outside through the cracked windowpane. You could see where the black paint that daddy used to cover the windows was startin’ to fade away.

I walked over to the old brown leather recliner that smelled like daddy’s cigars and placed my backpack next to it. I sat down in the recliner and used my flashlight to check all the corners. I wanted to make sure there were no spider webs or spooky creatures that snuck in from the outside. Momma told me she already checked before I came up so that made me feel a little better.

It hadn’t been that long, but I was startin’ to get hungry, so I ate my nuggets, fruit snacks, and drunk my fruit punch juice box. It was so good. Next, I took out my monster trucks and began to race them quietly over the ripped-up chair and the boxes that were stacked around the recliner. I found some old Legos and made a rocket ship that landed on Mars and zapped the alien stuff animals with my old nerf darts. It was hard being quiet, it was lonely too.

I got bored fast and started thinkin’ about what momma said about findin’ what daddy took from her. I know she told me not to worry but I have to help momma someway. I knew I would figure it out. I placed the flashlight like momma showed me facin’ up into the ceiling of the attic so it lit up the space. I sat down in the recliner and spread my blanket over me and placed my monster trucks on top to keep the blanket from moving. I closed my eyes to get some sleep, hoping the time would go by faster.

‘Ba-dump, Ba-dump’, This noise startled me! I opened my eyes and grabbed the flashlight to see where the noise was coming from. I didn't see anyone else in the attic. I closed my eyes tighter and waited to see if I would hear the noise again but nothing happened. I started gettin’ drowsy when that sound ‘Ba-dump, Ba-dump, Ba-dump !’ started messin’ with me again. I jumped up and decided to see where the sound was coming from.

‘Ba-dump, Ba-dump, Ba-dump’…it kept getting louder so I moved towards the black box near the window. I opened the black box and I saw a smaller brown paper box underneath my old blankie. It kept movin’ and making that strange sound. I was afraid of what would happen when I opened it, but I couldn’t help myself. I untied the red silk ribbon and I saw a beating heart and that’s when I knew I found what momma needed, what daddy had hidden from her all this time.

I wanted to shout out to let momma know I found it but I didn’t want daddy to know so I just smiled and wrapped the ribbon back around the box. I placed the box under my shirt and closed up the big box, so no one could tell it had been opened. I felt the warmth of momma’s heart and remembered the sound from when I use to lay on her chest as a baby.

I placed the blanket back over my lap and drifted off to sleep…

“Billy! Billy! wake up love, it’s time to come down for breakfast.” Momma shouted up the attic stairs.

I popped right up excited about the good news that I had to share with momma.

“Yes, momma! I’m comin’ and I have somethin’ for you!” I shouted back.

“Really? I can’t wait, be careful comin’ down these stairs and make sure you have everything.”

“I will momma, I will!”

I took the small box from under my shirt and placed it in my backpack with my toys.

When I got downstairs momma was already sitting at the breakfast table waiting for me with scrambled eggs and blueberry pancakes. I ran over to the kitchen sink and washed my hands, I reached inside my bag and handed momma the brown paper box.

“Told you momma, I would find it!”

Momma looked at the box uncertain of what she held within her hands. She slowly untied the ribbon and opened the box. Tears began to run down momma’s face like raindrops. She reached over and took me by the hands and said,

“Thank you, Billy, for findin’ my heart.”

Short Story
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About the Creator

MK Colbert

MK a.k.a Maritta Kachele is a Jamaican American singer-songwriter, poet, film producer, and mental health/prison reform advocate. She loves to create new realms of exploration and enjoys writing diverse pieces.

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