The Remarkable Reason the Ocean's So Salty

Once upon a time, this story found a young boy named Me, and, like drinking saltwater, reading made me thirsty to taste again; my imagination bathed in the possibilities this tale promised until I believed with wide eyes that anything can happen. My version of this classic folktale follows:

***

This story takes place many years ago, more years, in fact, than even your grandpa can remember. Before the ocean was salty like it is now, it was as sweet as a mountain stream, all the fish in it were round like apples, and lily flower buds bloomed right on its wide blue surface.

It was a wonderful time to be a boy, as Fritz was, and it was wonderful to live in the small coastal town of Swabia-on-the-Sea, as Fritz did. His grandmother, whom he lived with, called him Fritz, but everyone else called him Freckles because of all the sun kisses on his happy cheeks.

Every day, Fritz would visit the market and buy a loaf of bread and a bit of butter. That was all he and his grandmother ate—three meals of bread and butter a day—because they did not have money to buy nice things, but they didn’t mind because they had love for each other, and that kept them full.

One day, as Freckles was returning from the market, he saw a pouch of gold coins on the ground. He thought of all the nice treats he could buy with that much money. He realized someone must have lost it. “They might need it more than I do. In fact, it’s probably for something important!” Just then the mayor walked by, so Fritz asked what he should do. The wise mayor thought for a moment then answered: “Go all over the town and ask everyone if they lost anything. If they all say ‘no,’ then it’s yours!”

Fritz thought that was good advice; he liked a grownup saying he might be able to keep the money, so he started visiting every home in the village (after getting his grandmother’s permission, of course).

It took all day, and by the time he was approaching the last house, it was very late. Freckles knocked, and a grumpy old man named Mister Gilliford opened the door. Fritz had never spoken to him before because everyone said he was a grouchy old crabapple.

“What do you want?” The little man asked sharply.

“Excuse me, Mister Gilliford, but did you lose something?”

“Yes. And today is a terrible day because of it. I lost a very important little red bag.”

Fritz’s freckles stretched as he smiled.

“Did it look like this?”

The old man snatched the bag away.

“My bag!”

He slammed the door without even saying “thank you.”

Even though Fritz knew he had done something nice, he didn’t feel good. He slumped back to his grandmother’s house with his head down. When he got there, she made him tea, and he told her the whole story. After he finished, his grandmother waited for a moment then answered quietly.

“I wonder if the reason you felt sad is because you expected a reward.”

“I didn’t need money, but I expected him to say ‘thank you’ at least!”

She answered, “We don’t do good things because they make us feel good, Fritzy. We do them because they help remind ourselves that we are good.”

After saying this, Fritz’s grandmother had an idea (Fritz knew she’d had an idea because she wiggled her nose back and forth, and that’s what she always did when she was thinking). His grandmother jumped up and hurried into another room. After a moment, she returned with a linen cloth. Fritz could see the outline of something strange under it.

“This is very powerful device,” she said.

She lifted one corner of the material, and Fritz caught a glimpse of it: a shape carved out of beautiful wood; it was dark like coffee and clearly very old. It was shaped like the wooden pepper grinders we have now (even though this was back before pepper was common in Swabia-on-the-Sea).

“What is this thing, Grandmother?” Fritz asked. He was so curious.

“This is a wishing mill. It has been in the family for generations. It will grant you anything you ask for.”

Fritz’s eyes got wide, and his grandma went on.

“I’ve kept it secret all these years, and there were many times when I wanted to bring it out to give you a treat, but I wanted to wait until you were ready. After you were so selfless today, I believe now is the right time.”

His grandmother suddenly looked very serious.

“But!” she said, “You can only use it for the good of others. If you ever use it to make a wish for yourself, it won’t listen to you anymore.”

“I will only use it for other people, then.”

At this, his grandmother smiled. “I know you will, Fritzy.”

She held it out, and Fritz traced its fine lines with his fingers.

“How does it work?” He asked.

“First, I’ll tell you how to stop it because once it gets going, things will happen very fast. Like any good command, this one rhymes.”

She unscrewed the device's little cap and read one of two poems carved on the bottom of it.

Mill, mill, that did so well,

Gave the thing that I did tell

Made the thing that I did say

Stop the ______ for today.

“Remember, this is how you stop it,” she said.

“What’s the blank part for?”

“That’s where you say the thing you wished for. I’ll show you how it works if you can think of someone with a need. Maybe Mister Gilliford?”

“That old grouch?! I don’t want to be nice to him!”

“People aren’t very good at staying mean if you keep being nice to them. Do you want to try it?”

Fritz thought about this. He wanted to be kind, even when it was hard.

“Well...I used to see him go fishing all the time, but I know he broke his net and doesn’t fish anymore. We could make him a new net.”

Fritz’s grandmother smiled. Then she spoke the poem to start the machine.

Mill, mill, grind so well,

Give the thing that I will tell

Make the thing that I will say

Grind a net for me today

The mill turned all by itself, and a tiny net popped out, which grew and grew until it was normal-sized. Very quickly, Fritz’s grandmother said the second poem, and the machine stopped.

Fritz felt like he wanted to run and jump, he was so excited.

“Can I bring it to Mister Gilliford now?” He asked.

“Yes, but don’t let his response affect you wanting to use this machine for good. Even if Mister Gilliford is mean, you can still decide to do nice things with the wishing mill.”

Fritz jumped up and ran out. When Fritz arrived, no one answered the door, so he left the net with a little note that said, “a present for Mister Gilliford.” He didn’t see the little man watching through the window the whole time.

As Fritz left, he felt like he was flying. Doing something nice for someone without expecting anything from them was an incredible feeling. He decided he would spend the entire next day giving things away.

The first thing he did the next morning was to tell the wishing mill to make a toy boat for a child who was crying because he'd popped his balloon. When he had the new boat in his hands, he didn't cry anymore.

Then Fritz made the mayor a new top hat.

He even gave the farmer an entire flock of chickens!

Freckles did so many nice things, the people of the village asked if he wouldn’t mind stopping for a little while. The whole area was covered in gifts, so they needed time to appreciate them all before he gave away anything more. The people in town couldn’t stop saying how wonderful Freckles was for giving so generously and keeping nothing for himself.

One very stormy day, a stranger came to town. People didn’t know it yet, but he was a very dangerous man.

The stranger’s name was Billy Two-Teeth, and he was a pirate (which is an old word for people who take things that don’t belong to them). It wasn’t long before Billy heard about how generous Freckles was being.

Billy wanted Freckles to be generous to him, so he made up a story. He said, “I’m a milk farmer, and some mean people borrowed my only cow and they won’t give her back until I give them a handful of pure gold!”

Freckles said he would love to help, and Billy suggested they meet on his old ship later that day.

Fritz trusted everyone, so he had not thought to keep the wishing mill a secret—he brought it with him. Billy pretended to be nice. He gave Freckles a bowl of candy and said he could choose anything. This made Freckles think they were friends.

Fritz didn’t know anything was wrong, so when Billy asked if it was time to make the gold, Fritz said, “Sure!”

He pulled out his machine. His grandmother had warned him not to tell the poem to other people, so Fritz whispered the first command into the mill. Gold poured out, then Fritz whispered the second poem, and the grinder stopped.

Billy had a funny look in his eyes and an oily sound in his voice when he spoke.

“Oh, Fritz, what a clever boy you are to make gold come out of a tricky machine like that. Knowing how to start and stop it must be very difficult.”

“Oh, no, it’s so easy!”

“Can it make anything?” The sneaky pirate asked.

“It can make everything! What’s your favorite food?”

Billy Two-Teeth answered with every pirate’s favorite dish: “hard-boiled eggs.”

Fritz gave the command and two hard-boiled eggs popped out, then he said the words to stop it. He unscrewed the cap and showed Billy that the starting and stopping poems were written underneath.

Billy snatched the wishing mill.

“What are you doing?” Fritz asked in surprise. He was sad his new friend was being so selfish.

“I’m taking this,” Billy said, “But you should be more worried about yourself.”

Billy laughed a loud, mean laugh then pushed Fritz into the sea!

Fritz’s grandmother had always given him swimming lessons, so he knew how to float. He wanted to feel sad, but he knew he didn’t have time—he had to swim to shore.

Billy Two-Teeth walked back and forth, laughing greedily.

“What shall I make first?” He asked himself, rubbing his hands together.

Then he saw the eggs.

“I know just the thing!”

He sat down and prepared to eat. Since even the worst pirates don't eat hard-boiled eggs plain, Billy decided he would wish for salt, which would give the eggs extra flavor.

He said the first poem, and a trickle of white, grainy salt started. Billy smiled at how well his plan was working.

When there was enough salt to give the eggs flavor, Billy said the little phrase to turn the machine off. But it did not turn off. Billy did not know the rule that if you use the wishing mill to satisfy yourself, it won’t listen to you. In fact, it did just the opposite of what he wanted: it produced more and more salt.

Billy’s eyes poked out of a mountain of salt. “How do you turn this off??”

At this time, Fritz’s arms were getting tired, and he prayed he’d have enough strength to make it to shore.

Soon, Billy’s room was filled with so much salt, the wooden floorboards couldn’t hold anymore. They snapped, and the wishing mill, which was still pouring out salt, fell through a hole into the bottom of the deep, blue sea.

The ocean water became so salty, someone in town was drinking it, and it puckered their lips!

The salt in the water pulled moisture out of the fish and instantly changed the way they look to the shape we know them to have these days.

The salt made the lilies dry up, and the wind blew them to the mountains, where they grow wild now.

The sea was so salty it lifted Fritz and caused him float. In fact, before Fritz’s famous floating, people used to describe things that stayed above the water as “floatie-able,” but soon they would invent a new word meaning the same thing: the new word was “buoyant,” and it was named after this particular boy.

Fritz thought about saying the poem to stop the salt from pouring out of the mill, but he realized all the salt coming out was creating a wave that was pushing him to the shore. Besides that, even if he had wanted to stop the machine, it would not have worked because the mill was too far down for his words to reach.

Mister Gilliford, who had been fishing for round fish from the sea wall, dipped his new net into the water and scooped Fritz out.

“Thank you, Mister Gilliford!” Fritz said.

“One good turn deserves another,” Mister Gilliford winked, smiling at Fritz for the first time.

At first, the mayor asked Freckles to swim down and stop the salt maker, but when Fritz explained how it wouldn’t work because the wishing mill was too deep and his words wouldn't work underwater, the mayor had an idea: the people in the city would dry salt from the sea, put it into little shakers, and sell it all around the world.

The little glass bottles sold well because this was the tastiest salt money could buy, and all the people in the town became comfortably wealthy because of that. Even Fritz and his grandmother could afford to eat treats twice a week.

Billy Two-Teeth felt so bad for taking something that wasn’t his, he decided to make it right. He sailed away and was gone for a very long time. Many years later, he came back with a plant he had found on a deserted island. Little black round things grew on the plant. Billy said you could grind these peppercorns into something called "pepper." Everyone agreed the new spice was delicious and went perfectly with salt. They thanked Billy, and he agreed he wouldn’t be bad anymore. In fact, Fritz forgave Billy for being mean, and the two of them became friends and learned fishing from Mister Gilliford.

As for the wishing mill, it is still deep, deep, deep underwater, too far for anyone to reach, and, to this day, it continues to crank and release salt into the water. So now you know, and if anyone asks, you can tell them the remarkable reason why the ocean is so salty.

***

Post script: I hope you enjoyed this nostalgic retelling of a tale from my childhood. Click here for another of my children’s books—a fun read about a bear who wants to be an Olympic runner: perfect for kids fascinated with animals or the Olympics this Summer!