The Princess and The Dragon

There once was a princess who lived in a far-off castle with a fearsome dragon. She had been away so long that the townspeople forgot who had locked her up there in the first place. Countless princes had gone on quests to save her, but none returned. An arrogant young prince decided it was his duty to save her, and if she happened to fall in love with him in the process, well, that would work out quite nicely.

He traveled the long and hard journey on horseback up to the castle. His steed was fearless, crossing rickety bridges and swimming through moats. Surely, the princess would be floored by his dedication. Finally, he reached the castle, and to his surprise the door was open. He found the princess reading quietly with the enormous dragon sleeping curled up around her. The pair was surrounded by shattered skeletons and bent rusting armor.

The prince barged in, “Princess, I’ve come to rescue you!” He shouted valiantly.

The dragon awoke and looked to the princess. She gave the beast a small nod, and the dragon opened its jaws to swallow the prince. But before the dragon could swallow him whole, the prince stabbed the dragon in the foot. The dragon let out a wretched screech.

The princess screamed and cried out, “Stop it!” She ran in front of the creature before the prince could strike again.

“But, that monster almost killed me! It must be slain!” argued the prince aghast. This was not at all how he thought this was going to go.

The princess took the foot of the dragon in her lap and examined the dragon’s wound. The prince raised his sword again, and the princess whipped around and looked him dead in the eye. “If you touch one scale, I promise you a slow and painful death accompanied by an eternity of hellfire.”

The princess flew out of the room. The prince was speechless, he was surprised to find himself more afraid of the princess than the dragon. He sheathed his sword eyeing the dragon as he did so, but the dragon paid him no mind. The princess came back with a medical kit. She cleaned and dressed the dragon’s wounds speaking to her softly to comfort her. When she finished the dragon fell asleep, worn by pain and blood loss.​

“Why are you here?” The princess asked the prince.​

He perked up, “To rescue you, fair maiden!”

The princess sighed, “To rescue me from what?”

The prince was at a loss. It was clear the princess was unafraid of the dragon, and the door to the castle was open. “Well, I had heard…”

“You heard what? That a princess was living with a dragon?”

“Yes, exactly-” He started, but the princess interrupted him.

“Had it ever occurred to you that it was not you saving me from the dragon, but the dragon saving me from you?” She questioned.

“But I-” the prince stammered.

“No, but I’m sure you’re a good guy, right? A knight in shining armor. You would never take advantage of the fact you are armed and have me alone in a faraway castle. Of course not, you’re just the guy who attempted to kill an innocent animal and claim a woman you’ve never met as your prize for doing so.”​

The prince was stunned silent. The dragon nodded awake, when she noticed that the prince was still here she grew furious, sucking in a gust of air, and rearing to blast him with flame. The prince cowered behind his shield preparing to be scorched alive.​

The princess held up her hand, “It’s alright Eliza. We’re going to let this one go.” The dragon was surprised, but obeyed, shrugging her shoulders, and went back to napping.

The prince fell to his knees kissing the princess’s feet. “Thank you, fair princess! I am forever in your debt, how can I repay you? I’ll do anything.”

The princess pushed the prince’s head down to the floor with her foot. “Go back to the village, and tell them to stop sending princes here.”