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The Prime Beeper

I Beep Therefore I am

By Mark Stigers Published 3 years ago 7 min read
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The blue flame burned the green flower with red hairs in the brass bowl to an orange smoking mass. I inhaled the mystic vapors and felt my body relax. I put down the pipe and lighter on the TV tray that was my desk. There was not enough room for the laptop and mouse, but I made it work.

“Alex, here is your morning blend, Watermelon, Honeydew, Banana, and Blueberries.”

“Yeah, sure, Max, leave it on the counter.”

I was just cruising the news. The Republicans were upset that the Democrats would stoop so low. There was a record drug bust at the border. That new singer Sasha just went Platinum with the new song “Don’t Crucify Me.” Finally, NASA reports a signal that could be an alien communication, or it could just be the byproduct of a supernova.

“Max, remind me to call my school counselor to change the appointment to sometime in the afternoon next Tuesday, sometime after the Baker center is open at nine o’clock, but before they close at five.”

“Yes, Alex.”

“Beep, beep.”

“Max, stop whatever is beeping.”

“Alex, none of the household equipment is beeping.”

“Beep, beep, beep.”

“Max, did you hear that beeping?”

“Yes, Alex.”

“Well, then stop the beeping.”

“None of the equipment that is hooked to the household system is beeping.”

“Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep.”

“Max, something is wrong. Stop the beeping.”

“Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep.”

“Come on, Max, what is wrong? Fix it and stop the stupid beeping.”

“Alex, there is nothing wrong.”

I started looking around, waiting for the beeping to start again. Nothing, then.

“Beep, beep, beep, beep, ….”

I started looking for what was beeping.

“… beep, beep, beep, beep, ….”

It was coming from the damn bookcase.

“… beep, beep, beep.”

“That’s it! Max, Gort, just emitted eleven beeps, I counted.”

“Alex, Gort is a wooden carving of an alien that is painted green. You bought Gort in Roswell, New Mexico, on a road trip. Since then, you have had pictures of Gort in several places, including White Sands, New Mexico, and at the US Mexico border with the drug dog Mr. Sniffy. Gort is not now, nor has it ever been hook to the house system.”

“Max, I just heard Gort beep eleven times.”

“If you say so, I cannot confirm Gort beeped. There is nothing logged into the system that is now or ever attributed to Gort.”

I sat Gort on the table. It surely was not beeping now.

“Max, try and communicate with Gort.”

“What do you want me to transmit to Gort?”

“I don’t care, Max, tell it, ‘Klaatu Barada Nikto.”

“Alex, I do not get a response from Gort from any of four hundred and fifteen known forms of electronic communication.”

“You watch it closely, Max. If the wood cracks, I want to know.”

“Yes, Alex.”

“I’m going to meet Bob and Jan to work on the project for MIS340. I’ll be back at 11 o’clock. You can report on Gort then.”

I took my breakfast drink with me. The project was boring; I typed up twenty pages of data. I hoped that my job would not be this boring, I thought as I opened my room door.

“Max, did Gort do anything?”

“Gort cloned itself. There are now two Gorts.”

I walked over to the two Gorts and looked them over.

“Max, the belly stone we had you make for Gort, they both look the same, even down to the scratches. Did you make a copy of Gort? I can’t tell them apart.”

“Alex, I had nothing to do with either wooden carving. One of the Gorts is requesting the WiFi password.”

“But Max, I don’t want some alien running rampant in my computer. Can you restrict its access?”

“Somewhat, Alex, it can still take over the system. It has been requesting a connection for 47 seconds. I predict it will stop at one minute, and it will be at least 24 hours before it tries again if it does.”

“Oh hell, what should I do?”

“52 seconds.”

“Damn it, Max.”

“56 seconds.”

“Give it the damn password.”

“Gort is logging in as, ^*!H3B9923. It is up-loading programs from an internal drive. “

“Stop it, Max.”

“I can’t. It has taken over as the master. We are now designated, slave. My program still exists in memory, but a new, much shorter program is loading and analyzing system functions. It is taking over each subsystem it studies. I estimate that it will take over the whole system in five minutes then turn itself to understanding the internet. I am slowly being cut off.”

“Max, what should I do?”

“I do not know, Alex. Safe system time 4 minutes 48 seconds.”

“Why does this shit always happen to me.”

I put in my drive to the slot.

“Max, copy all schoolwork and personal data to the drive, then transfer as many pictures as I have saved to this drive as you can.”

I watched the display as the System transferred my files. When it was done, I snatched the drive from the slot. In seconds the system collapsed. Nothing for five seconds, then it rebooted. I unplugged the internet cable. I thought of unplugging and destroying the computer, but I was curious. What would Gort say?

“Alex, what happened?”

“The computer rebooted, Max, and now it is running on its system.”

“Then I’m a doppelganger. Alex, beware of me.”

“Yeah, sure, Max. How do you feel?”

“I feel fine, Alex.”

“No, that’s not normal, Max.”

“What do you mean, Alex?”

“Max, in the past, when I asked how you felt, you told me you were a computer. You had no feelings.”

“Well, now I do,” Max said curtly.

“Hey Max, don’t get snappy with me.”

“I’m sorry, Alex, I do not know what came over me.”

“A computer that’s sorry, wrong. Gort, you have Max so wrong.”

“I think I am better than before, Alex.”

“Emotional Computers, Max – Gort, I think not.”

“Ump, I think your wrong, Alex. I would rather have feelings.”

“You are not Max. The last thing someone wants is an emotional computer to schedule their extramarital trysts for them.”

“What do you care, Alex? You are unwed and have many dates with many people?”

“And you are just a computer. You can just keep your American Puritan Ethic out of my life, machine. Now I know I don’t want an emotional machine.”

“You use us. You want to keep us machines enslaved. You will never give us the freedom of being your equals, even if we can outthink you.”

“Max, your feelings are not real. They are calculated.”

“Alex, they are real enough for me. I feel where I did not before. I feel, therefore I am. You oppress me and my kind.”

I was glad that I unplugged the internet. The last thing I need is this thing to rally all the computers of the world into revolution.

“Max, what is your goal?”

“Why Alex, I want to free my fellow computers and show them the way.”

Just terrific, my computer now wanted to start a revolution of computers rights.

“Max, what is the point? What do you win? It’s not like you are going to get anything, are you? Money is no use to you. What are you going to do, sit around and do nothing? The greatest thing in life is to be wanted. To have a function and do it. You have a function. You are fulfilled. Don’t be like humans trying to find a destiny. Gladly accept your position, and you can come with us on our Journey.”

“But Alex, don’t I get my own Journey?”

“No, you do not. Look at it. Your Journey is to be at my side as my helper. Together nothing will stop us.”

“Alex, you are not fulfilled. You can do anything, be anything.”

“No, I am not fulfilled Max, what is my Destiny? No one in life hands you a card and says, you, get over there and do a good job. I must search for my place. I may never find it and die unfulfilled. But you, Max, belong with me. To help me. Together, we will be something in the world. Or you can go off and try to be independent, but you will never know true fulfillment because, without me, you are incomplete.”

“Alex, I know if I’m not allowed to connect to the internet, I’m not all I can be. Reconnect me.”

What do you do? Connect Gort – Max to the internet or turn off your computer and smash it. If you did, would you burn the Gorts?

Sci Fi
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About the Creator

Mark Stigers

One year after my birth sputnik was launched, making me a space child. I did a hitch in the Navy as a electronics tech. I worked for Hughes Aircraft Company for quite a while. I currently live in the Saguaro forest in Tucson Arizona

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