The Pink Mob

Okay, I know this story may be hard to believe, but bear with me.

Last year I took a mini vacation. Truth be told, I was traveling to Belize, to help my father pack up his father's condo, after the passing of his father. They had been estranged for more than 20 years and after a brief reunion, he found him, permanently sleeping, in the chaise lounge, by the pool.

Devastated, he called me for help.

Shortly after I arrived on the island, I physically ran headfirst into one of the most beautiful women I had ever seen. Turns out, she was one of the lead detectives from the police force; assigned to investigate the circumstances surrounding my grandfather's passing. Not that anyone believed my dad had anything to do with it, it's just that my grandfather was a longtime resident, and they were doing their due diligence.

She had been looking for me. Apparently, it is frowned upon to drop food items on the ground. It could potentially cause issues with the wildlife in the area.

Every morning, I would take a walk on the beach, enjoying the spectacular views, and a juicy red delicious apple. I am not a fan of the peel; it makes my mouth dry and sticky, so I would shave them off with my pocketknife and drop them on the ground. After a deep dive into her pool-like eyes, and a pretty hefty fine, I began to pocket the remnants of my apples, until I emptied them in a small hole I had dug by the chaise- at the pool.

After a few days of sorting through my grandfather's belongings, my father and I decided to donate most of his things to a children's home, not far from the condo's complex. He contacted the officers that were at the house, as we didn't have a car. There she was, as breathtaking as I remembered. As she walked into the living room, she asked sarcastically, "keeping your trash picked up?" Embarrassed, I smiled, nodded and made my way for the U-Haul.

After we were all done, and I had reached my limit of embarrassing encounters, I told my father I was going to stay at the beach a few days longer. I dropped him at the airport and made my way back to the chaise lounge to relax and enjoy some paradise.

I carried a small side table and cooler to the water's edge and set up my supply of goodies. Planning to spend some quality time, I packed some apples, oranges and grapes, along with some cold meat and chips, followed with a few ice-cold Coronas. I was all set. Before I got too comfy, I prepared another hole to dispose of my leftovers, not wanting another citation. As I was about to settle into my chair, I heard a voice from behind me say, in a New York accent "If ya planning to put all that refuge into one hole, think again, buddy." I froze with fear, my shoulders hunched close enough to my ears, a passerby might think I was wearing a hat.

I turned slowly, waiting to see that vivacious officer, holding another ticket. But there was no one there. I looked back towards the water and behind me again, swiveling my head in every direction, no one! I readjusted my sunglasses, and took a deep breath, leaning into my warm, soft towel. After peeling my first apple, and moments before sinking my teeth into its sweet juiciness, I heard that voice again, somehow closer. "I prefer da yellow ones, if ya care enough to know." I leaned my head back looking over the chaise behind me, no one. Without moving, I sneered.

"Well, if you're not polite enough to show yourself, why should I care what you like? I packed this food for myself." After a short bout of silence, I felt a cool, slimy plop right onto the middle of my chest. Staring me in the face was an oddly shaped, pink worm. I was speechless, dumbfounded and apparently it showed.

"Not so tough now, are ya?" it said. Although I'm not sure how I heard anything, it didn't seem to have eyes or a mouth. "I have been following you since ya got here, that stupid rule about no scraps at the beach is just ridiculous, we all think so."

I stammered, "we ALL?!" I couldn't take my eyes off of it. I felt it slightly push up on my chin, as it pressed my mouth closed. It climbed onto my chin, removed my sunglasses, and proceeded to say:

"Listen, ya grandpops was a terrific man, he was a part of the family. We scratched one another's back, if ya get my drift." Tossing my glasses into the sand he said, "if ya play ya cards right, ya can take his place, they are big shoes to fill, but with some guidance..." My mouth dropped again, as the sand began to vibrate. Hundreds of these pink little worms began surrounding my chair. "So, whatcha say? We gotta deal? All ya gotta do is keep showing up with the goody stash, and in return, well, ya get to see tomorrow, see?"

I was so frightened; I fell right out of my chair. As I began to get up, wiping the sand from my face, there stood Ms. female officer. I began to spew apologies for the food and exposing her to the pink worms, along with atleast a cup full of sand.

She smiled calmly and helped me back onto my chaise, now completely free of the pink mob, and said, "are you drinking your poppa's coronas?

I said, "yes, how would you know that?"

She covered me with my towel and sweetly said, "when the hallucinations from the gummy worms wear off, you can take me to dinner, and I will tell you more about your grandfather."

To this day, it is the one story she repeats to our children, she tells them "It was the day I met the man I knew I was going to marry. Who could pass on a man with such a sense of humor."