The Peony Lass

David an' Connie had been married fir over 20 years. David wis a hard-working man who served the community, but his anger an' temperament often got the better o' him. Connie had been born intae a wealthy family, an' David wis seen as the natural choice fir her tae marry. Her father approved, an' he wisnae terrible.

Connie wis a fair lass who had learned how tae nod an' smile at the right time. Surrounded by wealth an' comfort, she wis lost in terms o' purpose an' place. Far frae unphysical, David an' Connie had functional coital refreshment regularly.

It happened tae be a relatively normal Tuesday afternoon when she took note o' a florist she had never come across afore. A recently opened store, it wis Archie's passion project. His way o' bringing new life intae a world that had accursed him.

Upon entering the shop an' clanging the wee bell attached tae the door as she did, Archie appeared behind her wae a welcoming smile an' pleasant, if odd, countenance.

He took her hand an' caressed it, which made her flutter.

"Ah, yer a peony lass, aren't ye?"

"Uhm, aye."

All she saw wis his piercing blue eyes. Apparently able tae tell the very nature o' a soul.

"How did you know?"

"It's mah job tae know, lass. Besides, maist people think they're roses!"

"But ye aren't like maist people, lass!"

She smiled a little. Felt uneasy because she wisnae used tae fuss.

David, intense as he wis, in their already 20 years together had never understood her.

She pulled her hand away tae get a grip o' hersel'.

"How presumptuous o' me, lass. Where are mah manners? Ah'm Archie. Humble florist at yer service. An' ye are?"

Connie blushed. The last time she had blushed wis her honeymoon. This wis different.

"Constance... though most call me Connie!"

"Connie, it's mah pleasure tae make yer acquaintance. Whit are ye lookin' fir today?"

Connie looked aroon' the store but felt her eyes focus on Archie's blues. Dreamy, if a little shy.

"I'm sorry, I was just looking. I don't mean to be in the way!"

Then she left.

Fir the rest o' the day he dared tae daydream aboot her. Given the amount o' people that came an' went, she had managed tae make a huge impression.

He didnae have tae wait too long afore she turned up at the store again. It wis the next day. She had plenty o' free time an' wanted tae find oot more aboot him.

He commented again that she wis more than the average person.

She said she jist felt like she got in the way more than anything.

Archie frowned a little an' directed her through the shop. The scents were magical, ethereal. Peonies, dahlias, tulips, an' the boldest chrysanthemums Connie had ever seen.

It wis like a mini paradise o' life. Living, breathing, an' blooming. Like the soaring echoes o' the youthful lust Connie had but thought wis lost.

She asked how much six peonies were.

"They're on offer right now. Six fir a fiver, an' I'll throw in a couple o' dahlias too."

He carefully assembled the miniature bouquet an' processed her order.

"Thank ye fir choosing something here. Please come back again."

She nodded afore heading oot the door.

She placed the flowers in a vase David had bought her years ago an' arranged them symmetrically on the fireplace in the lounge. As she sat in her favourite chair, she smiled. Even David appreciated the vibrant colours an' how healthy the flowers looked.

After a few days o' busy social engagements wae the fire department an' David, she returned tae Archie's store.

Ding.

"Hello again!" she smiled tae Archie.

"Ah, Connie. Whit can Ah do fir ye?"

Connie jist smiled an' looked aroon'.

Archie leaned over the counter.

"Do ye have time fir a cuppa, mah dear?"

Archie had a sudden surge o' bravery an' hadnae given much thought tae his words.

She didnae respond orally, simply nodded.

He led her tae a wee table wae two chairs, pulled one oot, an' nodded fir her tae sit.

"The other day ye said ye felt like ye where in the way? Ye could never be in the way, lass. Please sit an' do me the honour o' yer company. It's doontime right now, so Ah have some time tae kill. Take the weight an' strain off mah weary feet."

His deep timbre stroked her frae within an' she felt renewed.

"I'm quite sure I am older than you, Archie!" she exclaimed wae a cheery, flirty smile.

"Ah doubt that, mah dear. But enough aboot me. It's ye Ah want tae hear aboot!"

"I was born to a wealthy family and married well, I guess most would say."

She responded quickly afore drifting a little.

"My husband David's a firefighter and owns stocks in some businesses. I'm just David's wife, I guess."

Archie sighed an' stroked her hand across the table.

"That's no all ye are though, lass. Is it?"

Archie's question stopped her in her tracks a little.

"I need to go. But I'm sure I'll be back. You have a lovely shop."

She didnae want tae admit tae her new friend that she didnae have a clue who she wis anymore.

As the shop door dinged an' she left, Archie sat wae a sad but hopeful smile across his ageless face.

She did come back, though.

The next day.

An' the next.

---

She deflected conversations aboot herself by talking aboot David or asking Archie tae share another o' his crazy stories. She wis sure he wis full o' it. But his shyness mixed wae his attempts tae understand her charmed her.

As he told a ridiculous story involving an alpaca an' a hyena, he reached over tae hold her hand. He began drawing patterns wae his sharp nails. No hurting her, but sending wee electrical bolts up her arms.

It felt like a force stronger than anything an' beyond comprehension.

Archie pulled away first.

"Ah'm sorry, lass. Yer hands are so very delicate an' calming tae touch. It felt like Ah wis standing barefoot on a freshly cut lawn or at the sea's edge as water lapped at mah feet."

Connie sighed silently, drifting again on the airy mist o' his voice.

"That's perhaps the sweetest thing anyone's said to me."

Connie felt an urge tae stroke his hands back. His were a little coarser, but they were warm, experienced, an' she felt safe wae them.

Did she want him?

Fir the first time in forever, aside frae those lonely nights when David wis at work or the brisk showers she enjoyed some alone time, this wis the first time she felt desired an' seen.

Her heart wis racing, but she felt calmness. Then sadness as she looked at her watch.

"I'm sorry, Archie. It was truly a delight to meet you and there is so much more I want to find out. But..."

She trailed off as Archie finished her sentence.

"David? That's fine, lass. But can ye make me a promise? Will ye come back here tomorrow? In the evening? Please?"

His charming blues in that moment shared something he hadnae shared wae anyone in nearly half a century.

His loneliness.

"I... I'm not sure. I... Okay. Aye. David is at work tomorrow night. I'll come. But for now, bye, and thank you!"

She dashed oot the door as Archie sat, a small smile forming on his face.

---

Archie had been busy most o' the day wae customers in an' oot, but as beautiful as it wis tae pair up people wae flowers an' bring light tae their lives, he had one thing on his mind.

He'd spent all day guiding the lost tae flowers fir sympathy, fir love, fir condolences, fir apologies an' lust. But as the time ticked by, all he could think o' wis Connie.

Her blonde hair danced in his mind. He'd lived hundreds o' years an' finally, had he met whit mere mortals call the one?

Connie's day wis quieter, more contemplative. She felt an uneasy weight, given her growing feelings o' lust an' affection fir Archie. Feelings she couldnae easily get rid o' as she sat in her big hoose, listening tae the radio. Listening tae David blazing over some poor fella that cut him aff when he went oot tae pick up a new set o' golf clubs.

She found Archie's blues a comforting safe zone that doused her husband's rage. Though he did have a point. He did have a tendency tae go on a bit too much.

David brought her back tae reality as he stroked her hand.

"Christ, honey. Whit's got intae ye? Did ye hear whit ah said?"

She didnae, but nodded. A wee lie afore the bigger lies that would likely follow.

"I'm sorry, darling. I didn't sleep very well. I'm sorry you had that level of stress so early in the day."

He held her hand an' tried. He always tried.

"It's okay, darling. Maybe ye should take it easier today?"

She smiled faintly an' nodded again, giving him a kiss on his cheek afore he left.

Soon day wis shadowed by the autumn eve an', as Connie checked her hair, picked oot a crimson bra an' thong pairing wae some black, thick tights, she looked at her wardrobe fir jist the right dress.

She wanted one that said she wis open an' willing but nothing too salacious. No yet.

Archie had prepared the shop wae lots o' vanilla-scented candles an' had decanted a 200-year-old bottle o' Cabernet Sauvignon an' placed two glasses at the table.

He wore his favourite three-piece suit. Black wae red lining an' a saffron-toned tie.

He didnae want her tae feel threatened but wanted her tae know he had put effort in.

Both, it's fair tae say, had butterflies.

As the familiar ding o' the door sounded an' Connie stepped intae an even more magical paradise than she remembered frae her previous visit, his voice calmed her growing tension, coming frae nowhere but everywhere. Though in reality he wis already at the table.

"Connie, a pleasure again. Ah must be the luckiest fella in all o' Glesga tae have a flower more temperate and lovely than anything Ah've ever cared fir an' sold. Come sit an' drink wae me."

She moved slowly towards him an' noted a shyness in his voice behind all the charm he brought tae his job.

Her breath hitched as he came intae view.

Almost as much as his did when he saw her, a flower wae danger written all over her, but a danger he needed.

"Still got the charms of the devil himself? Quoting me badly remembered Shakespeare?"

They both laughed as she sipped her wine fir some French courage. His hand stretched slowly, considered, across the table an' delicately but firmly lay across her's. His nails embedded intae her skin again, an' her body, frae heid tae toe an' toe tae pelvis, danced.

Ached would be more accurate.

"Ah thought ye might no have showed up!"

Archie lied.

"I nearly didn't."

Connie also lied.

They spoke fir longer than either had truly spoken tae another soul.

Connie interrupted Archie's story aboot his trip tae the Andes.

"Archie? Did you notice I made the effort for you? I was hoping you'd look at me like other men do."

She smirked but couldnae hide the growing unease an' threat o' rejection. Had she got it so wrong?

As the silence fell thick an' heavy, she even tried adjusting her dress tae show more flesh an' her red bra strap over her shoulder.

Archie looked, fir the first time, sad.

The smile, the charm an' the wit had dissolved.

"Connie. Ah... Well. Ah don't truly know whit tae say. Ah care fir ye more than ye know. But..."

Connie bit back tears an' suddenly felt like a silly wee lass in an older woman's clothes an' body.

"I get it. I'm not your type, Archie. I've been so stupid."

Instinctively she grabbed at her dress an' covered her shoulders an' closed her legs though they were hidden under the table. She sat there. Exposed, as Archie's expression warmed a little.

"Ah'm no attracted tae anyone. No in that way. But Ah do have a strong affection fir you."

"You don't need to make excuses or tell lies. I'm an old woman who's wasted her better years on a man who loves real fire more than that in the pit of my stomach."

"Connie lass..."

"Wait. Why do you keep making jokes about being centuries old? Is this just a game to you?"

Connie's mind wis a mess. Hormonally she felt angry, sad an' vulnerable.

"It's no lies or jokes, Connie. That's why Ah invited ye over. Ah wanted tae tell ye something. Something Ah've no told a living soul fir far too long. Ah'm asexual."

"Oh..."

But afore she could say anything else—

"An' a vampire."

Archie stooped low in his chair.

"Asexual. And a vampire? Fuck, I can pick them."

Connie laughed.

Then laughed harder.

Then cried.

Archie had dreamt an' rehearsed this moment fir more than three average human lifetimes an' yet he still hadnae prepared himself fir this actual ootcome.

She didnae move her hands though. They were still there.

Through the tears an' confusion. The questions an' processing.

They stayed holding hands.

As she cried, he explained.

She cried more. But listened.

He wis still Archie. The same Archie she had fallen deeply fir.

Her loins burned wae need but her heart felt fuller.

Rather than broach another pertinent piece o' the puzzle that wis his life, he decided it wis best she went hame so she had time tae hersel'.

He knew it wis a lot.

As she stood up, she leaned over the table an' kissed his lips, long an' deeply. Then walked towards the door, opened it, ding, an' smiled back at him afore she headed intae the night.

---

As he sat wae his stolen supply o' blood frae a nearby hospital, he hooked up the cannula an' felt renewed but still more lost than ever.

Connie too wis awake. Hadnae changed frae her seductive lingerie. So, when David came hame he figured she wanted tae give him relief.

As he straddled over her, her mind wisnae there. O' course it wisnae. It wis at that wee florist's, sat across frae Archie. Holding hands.

She barely noticed as David let oot his frustration inside her an' rolled over an' snored.

Her mind wis still wae Archie.

She knew she'd see him again.

He wisnae so sure.

At least he had been honest.

Ignored his father's advice tae treat humans like cattle.

The long lonely night quivered slowly as it rained an' petrichor filled the streets o' Glesga.

David had found a receipt. Frae the florist. Archie the Florist. That morning, his Connie seemed more oot o' sorts than ever.

She barely touched her scrambled eggs. He grunted an' groaned like an animal, a beast.

She tried tae smile. Thoughts o' Archie made it easier.

Ah tell ye whit, hen. Why don't ye get dolled up the night, wear something tight an' revealing. We'll go oot tae dinner an' then we'll have a repeat o' last night."

"I don't know. Maybe."

She wis still thinking o' Archie.

Asexual an' a vampire. Whit a combination. Whit a situation.

He leaned over tae kiss her, though she didnae reciprocate.

Once he left, she hurried tae get ready an' head doon tae Archie's.

She didnae know whit might happen but she knew there wis naewhere else she'd rather be.

Archie mulled over a fresh cup o' tea at their table. Over the last few months, that's whit it had become.

Their table.

He replayed everything an' seriously considered whether she'd have felt better if he had pretended tae desire her carnally.

But no. Honesty wis his only policy. Wae her.

The familiar ding an' an emotionally fraught "Archie?" roused him.

"Over here, lass. Ah didnae expect tae see ye again."

Her heart sank an' her countenance relaxed as she sat down an' reached oot fir his hand.

"I nearly didn't. But... I couldn't not. Whatever this is, is important."

"That makes me glad. Ah already adore ye an' cannae think whit life might be waeoot us being us."

As they sat an' finished some tea, crumpets, an' laughed, she felt calmer than she had in years.

Then she went hame tae David.

David grew suspicious but, while Connie wis distant, she remained Connie. Functional. Proper.

Connie wis learning as much aboot hersel' as she wis aboot the difference between the two men in her life.

On days when she didnae see Archie, she went swimming an' went on walks tae take pictures o' flowers. No fir Archie. Fir hersel'.

It wis another Tuesday afternoon over sandwiches, while Archie intravenously fed his hunger. Though it took some getting used tae, Connie wis fascinated by it an' jist saw it as part o' Archie. It wisnae horrific.

It wis then she decided tae jist blurt oot something she never expected tae say.

"Do you want some of my blood?"

"Well. I know you aren't the type to kill. I can think of no better solution to your need."

"Lass..."

"Don't underestimate or patronise me. You don't take me for some lovesick fool, do you? I want to do it for you. I trust you and want you to trust me."

"Connie..."

Archie wis lost fir words. Fir once.

Connie rolled up her sleeves an' pulled off her jacket, revealing a small vest top an' her neck, pale an' exposed.

The veins called tae him as his eyes darkened.

"Ah will no hurt you."

"I know."

They sat fir some time jist enjoying the honesty between them.

Archie stroked her hand, pressing his sharp claw-like nails intae her flesh waeoot breaking the skin.

Standing, he walked roon' an' stood behind her, feeling her anticipation, her desire, her acceptance in the air.

As he leaned doon, he tilted her heid back an' perforated one o' her veins wae his nail. He pierced her delicate flesh.

Archie wis tender as he sucked at her pinkened flesh a'd she felt a rush like never afore. Light an' floaty, she felt her energy sap but wis at peace.

The moment seemed tae last fir more than jist ten minutes.

As David looked through the window an' saw his wife wae Archie. His Connie being ravaged. Rage erupted frae within his soul an' he kicked intae the florist, rousing Connie an' Archie frae their beautiful moment.

"Whit the hell are ye doing wae mah wife, pervert?"

Connie cried.

"It's not what it looks like. David. Please calm down. I can explain."

"Ah'm no sure Ah want tae hear it. Get in the car."

Connie reluctantly ran oot o' the store an' sat in the car.

She could hear the anger spilling oot o' the store that had become her safe space.

Snapshots o' accusations an' threats were followed by David getting intae the car. Fire burning behind his eyes.

Neither said a word.

Until they pulled ootside the house.

"He had the gall tae say it wisnae sexual. Ye were jist friends."

David looked tae Connie.

"He's not lying. We are just friends. What that looked like wasn't anything sexual."

"Whit? Are ye joking? Think Ah'm dumb? He wis kissing yer neck. Ye looked away wae the fairies."

"He wasn't kissing me. He was biting and sucking my blood. I let him. He's asexual, so not interested in fucking me. Why do you even care?"

"You're mah wife. That's whit Ah care aboot. Ye were caught in the act. Ye'd say anything really."

"Why would I make up such a ridiculous lie? That I love an asexual vampire?”

---

Archie sat alone nursing the black eye David had given him. Though it stung, he understood. He wished fir something different.

Connie an' David barely spoke as they settled down tae bed. David did ask tae see the damage Archie had done. He stroked the neck wound gently, then buried his fist intae his other hand. Frustration an' anger coursed through him.

"So he's a monster. Then he deserves tae be put oot o' his misery. Doesn't he?"

Connie knew it wis useless, but still responded as she couldn't not.

"He's no harm to anyone. I consented."

"Go tae sleep, Connie. We can talk aboot this more in the morning."

Connie knew no tae broach it any more.

She had a beautiful dream where everything corrected itsel'. Too good tae be true, like some o' the dreams that cut the deepest. David, Archie an' her were sitting tae lunch in Archie's store, an' there wis understanding.

Her phone went aff, waking her tae reality. It wis Archie.

"David is outside ma store, lass. Ah don't know whit's going tae happen, but ah won't hurt him or you. You know that."

"I'll be there as quick as I can, Archie!"

Waeoot thinking too much, she pulled on the closest clothes an' drove tae the store.

David wis ootside wae a can o' petrol an' a match. He had emptied it all oot.

"David, please. Don't."

Her pleas fell short, though, as David walked intae the store an' approached Archie.

"Ah mean ye no harm, pal."

"Ah'm no yer pal. Vampires are monsters. Yer a monster, an' Ah'll be doing oor city, oor world, justice by ridding it an' us o' ye!"

"Ah won't stop ye. Ah'm no a violent man," Archie pleaded.

"Yer no a man, full stop."

"Please take care o' Connie."

---

David lit an' dropped the match an' stood fir a moment as the flames consumed all life within the store, frae dahlias an' roses tae tulips an' peonies. Archie remained resolute an' faced his end.

He almost stayed tae be consumed by the flames wae Archie an' his beloved plants.

But Connie's tears an' screams brought him tae his senses.

He ran oot the store an' took Connie hame.

Though there wis outrage at the fire, David accepted community service as punishment as his lawyers argued he wis protecting his wife an' the city he loved frae the terror that Archie posed.

Connie didnae argue. She couldae.

Everyone jist believed the headlines:

"Vampire Thwarted by Hero Firefighter."

In the weeks that passed, nothing changed, really.

Connie still swam, still took pictures, an' David still faltered.

Every day she walked by the ruins o' Archie's store an' silently mourned.

*

Thanks for reading!

Author's Notes: So, this was a bit of a surprise. What started as a ridiculous idea became the above. Based on my own suggestion in the piece below, and some things people had said in the comments section, as well as an old comment by Matt (wanting a Glaswegian arsonist).

The general prompt I came up with was a riff on Lady Chatterley's Lover (never read it, but know of it), that featured a woman married to a rich arsonist (I took liberties there) who falls for an asexual vampire florist.