The Pearl

You would never believe how lonely it can be. To begin, I am different than you think. While there are so many legends about creatures like me, they have been embellished and twisted beyond all recognition. The truth is, shall we say complex. We are known by many names throughout many cultures: taniyn, lóng, dragão…dragon. Cultures in the East view us as enigmatic, powerful, and generally wise. Cultures in the West view us as agents of chaos, evil, and destruction. Both descriptions could be considered true. As for my name, it's unpronounceable by humans and don't ask me what my name is in dolphin, in wolf, or in raven. Just call me Dragon or Red if you wish. I am very old by human standards, and often very alone.

I’m not the only one of my kind or anything like that. I’m a sort of an expatriate. We are not forbidden to interact with humans, though it is greatly discouraged. At one of dismal teas I had to endure with many times great grandfather, the Jade Emperor hobnobbing with humans was the theme of the whole invitation in fact. We sat cross-legged, ironically, in human form as the Pú-rén-shén served us. There were several sips of tea in silence before He finally spoke.

“Humans are troubled creatures,” He said in his quiet voice, “If you grow attached, it leads to sorrow and disaster.”

I sipped my tea. The Jade Emperor regarded me impassively. I looked as properly contrite as I could, and kept my tone humble and my eyes downcast.

“Grandfather, why do you bring this up?”

He was silent a moment. I looked at Him a second, but I kept silent. Whenever one interacted with Grandfather, it was always He who guided the conversation. I never knew what he was going to say or do. Was he going to become pedantic and remind me that he was a lot older than just my grandfather? Was he going to tell me to contemplate some obscure riddle or cryptic statement that would encourage me to think and get my own answer? There were dozens of scenarios that could be, but his answer was simple.

“You spend much time down on Earth. Perhaps too much time.”

I opened my mouth to say something, but as I opened my mouth, He turned away slowly from me and sipped his tea. I knew a dismissal when I saw one. So I clasped my hands and bowed to him. As I left the Jade Palace, I considered where I should go next. So many of my generation were disillusioned with living Upstairs. I questioned my place in the Heavens. The world below me beckoned with potential adventures. I left the Blessed Realms and never went back. I don’t know how long ago I left, but it must be millennia by now. It was hard to say, because being able to shift between multiple timelines and places on Earth did tend to mess up my sense of time.

I’d encounter other dragons like me, wandering, looking for the indefinable something that could never be found Upstairs. Grandfather was reportedly furious at our insubordination. Long ago, four other dragons defied him, and He still remembered. But the Blessed Realms were all so far away, and so was the arm of the Jade Emperor. It seemed perfect until they came. Don't ask me to talk too much about them or say their name. It's bad luck to do so. I just call them the stone men. They have gray skin, hard and thick like stone. Their faces aren’t brutish, in fact, they are beautiful, except for their eyes, which are white and the color of a winter sky. The stone men are almost impossibly strong. They never speak and their faces do not move or have expressions. They terrify me, always have. They were bent on capturing rogue dragons like me and taking them away.

So when we meet each other, we say a brief hello, and keep going. One or two dragons can be overlooked for a brief time, even by the Heavens, but not several. We roam throughout the world, and try to stay hidden, invisible, or camouflaged. We are safer this way. All of us have the power of invisibility, but I am one of the rare ones, I can change shape. After a while though, I will need to leave wherever I’m at, and not lose my nature as a dragon, particularly when I’m hungry. I've tried sheep and fish, and they're not bad, but I really have to be in the mood for them. Sheep are stupid, just like fish, so I have no problem in eating them. Most of the time, however, I feed off sunlight and moonlight. I also have grown to love animals far too much to make a meal out of them. Not only do animals see me, but they also accept me. And they remember, somehow, throughout time. For example, I went to visit the ravens at my old stomping grounds hoping to make friends with the new generation but before I introduced myself, I heard a call from one of them, sitting up high on a light pole.

"Hey, it's Stretch!" he called out.

Next thing I knew, I was surrounded by a dozen ravens each expressing welcomes. Soon we were diving towards the ground and letting the wind swoop us into a loop. We’d laugh, and jabber, and like always, I had an amazing visit. Soon, though it was time to move on. I made my farewells and promised I'd drop in again. As I ascended, the usual loneliness kicked in, and I didn’t know where to go from here. I could pretty shift between locations and periods in history, like all dragons can. But where should I go and when? I closed my eyes and felt a tug. I peered through the Cosmos. Ordinarily, I’d let the winds carry me wherever they pulled. But this one was pulling to Europe, which I flatly refuse to do. If I travel to Europe, at any time in pre-modern times I am forcibly shifted into European dragon form, and I’m not a fan. I have wings which I always find a way to trip over. I can change shape but only between dragon and human, I can go invisible but it takes a lot out of me.

But most of all, I am in danger. A celestial dragon in his natural form cannot be killed, only changed. But when I’m in European dragon form, while I have a lot of power, I can be dispatched particularly with a lance or sword. Breathing fire is fascinating, and one of the few bonuses of being a European dragon, it makes me hungry. So hungry in fact, that I forget myself and want to eat anything or anyone that looks palatable. I never knew what it was, but sometimes when dragons were in Europe it changed them. The going theory in the Jade Emperor’s court is that humans view us with suspicion as agents of chaos and destruction, so we become agents of chaos and destruction.

I fell asleep on the wind. When I woke up, I could smell something burning. I opened my eyes blearily. The first thing I saw was burned trees and rocks. I was stiff and sore. I stretched, not knowing why I hurt so bad. As I stretched my body, I froze. I had wings one of which was clearly broken. To make it worse, I knew I was in England, near the border with Scotland. I also knew when I was. Seventeenth century.

I felt someone was watching me. I turned. There was a little girl standing on the rise, the ground smoldering beneath her feet. She was of African descent. Her hair was dark, wild and curled with twigs and leaves in it. Ebony eyes regarded me from a serious face. She appeared to be about two to three years old. Her clothes were dirty, and her eyes were wide and haunted looking. She had a nasty cut on her forehead and a burn on her arm. She didn’t look scared of me which was odd considering I was not just dragon form, but European dragon form. I looked around but saw no sign of her family. There was something nagging, hauntingly familiar about her.

“Hello,” I said, hoping she understood me, “are you lost?”

She just stared at me in response, her little face solemn. I stretched my wings.

“I guess you’ve never seen anything quite like me.”

She took a step back.

“I won’t hurt you,” I said in as calm a voice as I could, “do you need any help?”

She still was silent, looking at me with very wide eyes. I shrugged and set off down the road. It was getting near dark. I looked around me, but so far so no signs of anyone else, that is until I looked behind me. She was following me, quietly, watching my tail lash the dirt of the path. I was about to say something when I heard men’s voices and the sounds of horses. The little girl heard them too. She dove quickly into the bushes. I could hear her ragged breath even from a few yards away. I stepped off the road and mustered my abilities. I turned invisible and waited. About thirty men rode over the hill, their thigh high boots caked with mud. They slowed and were peering around. Some of the horses had bodies slumped on them. But they weren’t soldiers. It was the bodies of men, women, and children. The soldiers lingered for a moment, and I thought that she would be discovered, or one of the clods would collide with me and find me that way. But soon the soldiers left. I waited until I was sure they were gone. Then I became visible again. She came out from the bushes and walked toward me. She was still non-vocal. I wondered if she could be a mute. Then she did something that I wasn’t expecting. She hugged me. I felt a surge of powerful emotions, and again, that sense of having experienced this once before. I gently nudged her to get her to let go so we could keep going.

We walked until nightfall. I settled near the creek. No one was around at this time of night, and even the soldiers would likely be in some tavern somewhere or camped for the night. With as superstitious as country folk were, we couldn’t expect anyone to even open the door for us. Strangers were often viewed with distrust. As for the child, she still looked at me but soon she fell asleep. I kept watch for a while, but soon I slept too. My dreams were ominous. The stone men were chasing me, and burning all in their path. One threw a chain and snared my left ankle, and then my right. I was trapped. Two of them wheeled cannon out and aimed at me. The gun fired and I woke up shaken. It seemed like my dream had followed me. Soon I saw it was just a thunderstorm. I was just drifting off to sleep; when I felt something hit my leg hard, and even through my hide I could feel shaking. I looked down, and saw a red head by my leg. Her face was hidden. She was trembling. I grumbled.

“It’s just thunder. Don’t be such a baby.”

She looked up at me, her eyes wide. She was still trembling. Within seconds, it started pouring, drenching her. I could tell she was cold as well as scared. Fortunately, she was on the side of my good wing. I unfurled it slightly and made a makeshift shelter out of it sheltering her from the rain.

“Just for tonight, you understand?”

Again she stared at me. I still didn’t know what language she spoke or even if she could speak.

She was still scared I could tell. So I decided to use a trick that I had seen a father do with his son. She might not be able to understand my words, but she could understand my tone. I softened my voice to a soothing tone and started telling her a story.

“Don’t be scared of thunder and lightning. They are family to each other, but sometimes they are separated. So when they see each other again, they greet each other warmly, and very loudly. They don’t mean to hurt anyone. But sometimes lightning gets too excited and strikes the ground, and thunder shouts his approval.”

She looked up at me, her face serious, but wondering.

“And sometimes, like families do, they fight. For you see, a long time ago…” I started, telling her one of the legends I had heard when I was young.

She kept watching me, but she slowly started to fall asleep. She curled against my leg. Watching her sleep, I felt an odd feeling that I didn’t know how to define. I stared at her a bit but kept watch on the storm. When it finally ended, I fell asleep too. I woke up and she was still asleep but for the first time since I saw her, she looked peaceful.

“Wake up,” I said.

She opened her eyes, and looked up at me.

“Let’s see if we can find some food somewhere for you. Are you hungry?”

She stared at me. I moved my leg and mimed putting something to my mouth then pointed at her, hoping she wouldn’t misunderstand and think I wanted to eat her. She nodded. We walked down the muddy road. There wasn’t anyone around, I spied a cottage, and even though it hurt worse than anything I had ever done, I shifted into human form. I looked over at my young charge, but she didn’t seem taken aback at my transformation. The cottage was pretty and homey. I could smell the flowers from where I stood and could see many bees flying over the hedge to land on them. A woman came out before I could even ring the bell outside the garden gate. I didn’t know what to expect, but she looked like a cheerful sort. She had high cheekbones, blond hair, and merry green eyes. She had a straw bonnet tied under her chin with a sky blue ribbon, and a wicker basket on her arm with some cut flowers in it.

My little charge looked at her solemnly. She saw us, beamed and hastened over.

“Ah there you are! Come in! Come in, I’ve been expecting you.”

She escorted us into her house. It was a beautiful cottage with old wood and on the hearth was a stew that made my stomach growl even though I had just eaten.

“I am Isabel. Hello Red. And you must be little Mari.”

The little girl looked up at the mention of her name. For a moment, I thought she might actually say something, but she dropped her eyes. Isabel tsked at Mari’s wounds, and started grabbing a few jars. She ground them in a mortar and pestle, and with some water, made a poultice. She looked over her shoulder at me as she worked.

“Help yourself to some stew, Red. And be a lamb, get some for Mari too.”

I blinked. I wasn’t used to humans giving me orders. I was proud in that I didn’t flare my nostrils or anything, although I was tempted to go dragon.

“Of course.”

“You’re a love! Oh and while I want you to be comfortable, please don’t take your boots off or revert back to dragon form in my cottage. Thanks!”

Isabel finished her ministrations. Next, she turned to me. She ran her hands just above my body and chanted some words. My pain level dropped significantly.

“Your wing should be right as rain in a couple of days. Don’t try to fly on it until then.”

Overall, in a short time, we were healed and well-fed. I had to admit, the stew was delicious and judging by the way Mari went through three bowls of it, she had been quite hungry indeed. Mari started getting sleepy, so Isabel took her up to the sleeping loft. She held a hand up as I started to move that way too.

“Not just yet, we need to talk.”

I kind of groaned inwardly. What now? What was it with humans?

She sat down and beckoned me to sit on a chair near her. Her voice was low as she glanced up at the loft. Her normally ebullient tone was serious.

“There is something else at work. I cannot see Mari’s parents at all, even in spirit form.”

I looked up at the loft. My voice was low.

“Are they dead then?”

Isabel spread her hands helplessly.

“I don’t know. It’s very odd. Normally I can see more detail. But whatever this all is, it feels like old and powerful magic. All I can see is that you have to go to the northeast, to the coast.”

I sat silently for a moment, as I considered what she said.

“Is there any way you can take her? I am only passing through this place, and do not belong here. I won’t be able to take her with me.”

Isabel glanced down once at the table.

“I cannot. I am sorry. Your fates are intertwined and even a witch must bow to destiny.”

She got up and touched my shoulder as she walked to the ladder.

“Goodnight, Red.”

I sat up thinking a while, but soon I got tired enough to climb up the ladder and sleep in my own corner of the loft. When it was time to leave, Isabel was more than generous, and packed a huge basket of food. I stayed in human form, even though it hurt worse than anything I ever did before. It was necessary for a multitude of reasons. I couldn’t ask a toddler to carry a basket. And in human form, we were less likely to draw attention. Mari walked by my side and looked up at me. I was distracted, watching for dangers. Then Mari did something that I was not expecting. I felt her hand entwine in mine. I felt that same strong surge of emotions, and again that sense of déjà vu. I saw something in the sky. It looked like a ball of fire, almost like another sun. It drew closer, and then I saw it. It was an enormous dragon. It was spinning in midair, breathing fire. Then it saw us. It banked towards us. I put myself between Mari and the approaching monster.

“Stop!”

The dragon’s mouth opened wide to breathe another blast of fire. Doubtless he thought we were both human and wanted us for a meal. I cursed inwardly, and took my dragon form, and leapt into the air, knocking the dragon sideways. He was bigger than me, but he wasn’t expecting his prey to fight back.

“Mari! Hide!” I shouted

Mari ran to the edge of the woods, looking back at me. She disappeared quickly into the shadow of the trees.

The other dragon roared in challenge. For a moment, I thought he was one of my kindred from the Blessed Realms, but when I looked in his eyes, there was nothing but fire and madness there. If he had been more enlightened, it was gone now. I had to stop him. If he defeated me, he’d likely torch the edge of the forest, fly to the other side, and wait to pick off any creatures running from the forest fire, including Mari. So I roared back. The dragon took off, but I knew what to do. I flapped my wings, both thankfully healed now, and flew higher than he did. Fortunately, there were a lot of puffy clouds to hide in. He looked around, and the minute his attention wandered, I dove out of the clouds above him, and unleashed a fire cascade on him, flying by rapidly. He was burned, but not hurt enough to stop fighting or flee. He turned and pursued me. I aimed for a larger cloud, lightning flashing in it. The cloud was icy, and I could feel the storm gathering.

The lightning was all around me. I turned behind me, when suddenly; I felt agonizing pain in my right leg. The dragon had bitten down on it fiercely. I fought back, raking his armored side with my other leg. He wouldn’t let go. So I did what any sensible dragon would do. I took a deep breath, and unleashed the largest cloud of fire I could manage. He finally let go of me. My leg was badly mangled and a bit burned. I knew now why it was so hard to lose the veneer of civilization that the Blessed Realms gave us. I didn’t feel just anger and pain, I felt rage. I roared and banked sharply. Only one of us was going to come out of this cloud. If I didn’t fight, the bigger dragon would tear me apart mid-air. He’d consume the rest of my body on the ground, and then hunt Mari.

At the thought of this monster hurting her, my rage grew even hotter. I was aware of him gliding silently toward me. I pretended not to see him. But even though it was agonizing, I transformed a bunch of my scales into copper. I could feel the static building in the cloud. He drew closer, and then I turned and dove at him, biting his long neck. The cloud unleashed a bolt of lightning. It struck my scales, passed through me, and went into the other dragon. The dragon didn’t roar, it shrieked, like a bird, and fell down to the ground, His veins filled with fire. He fell from heaven like a meteor, flame and smoke trailing him down. I was badly injured, but I had won.

I landed near his body. I could feel the dragon bloodlust in me, and a terrible hunger. But it was the thought of Mari that brought me back. I looked down on the burning carcass of the dragon sadly. I limped towards the woods. I took only a few steps, when shapes started appearing around me. It was the stone men. They moved slowly towards me. For just a moment I was frozen in terror. But somehow, I knew instinctively not to fight them.

“Please, no! She needs me. I’m all she has left.”

The stone men froze. Their heads turned as I walked between the two columns of them. I made it into the woods. I still hurt, but I had to find her. Nothing else mattered. I finally found her. She was face down and crying on a mossy log. I drew near her. My voice was ragged.

“Mari, I’m here.”

At the sound of my voice, she lifted her head and ran to me. I folded one of my wings over her, and for the first time in a long time, I felt tears running down my face. I could hear the sea nearby. I moved as well as I could. Somehow I knew I had to reach the water’s edge. My one leg was mangled, and I could feel other gouges in my hide. I drew near the sea, and collapsed on the beach. Mari stood by me, helplessly. I dragged myself, every nerve and fiber in agony. I stretched out my arm to the sea, and things started to fade to black. Then the smallest of waves touched me. I felt myself changing, shifting back into my celestial form. All of my wounds healed in an instant. I felt myself waking up. It had only been a few days since I had shifted form, but it felt like centuries.

I took to the air, laughing, and flying above. I could see the great gateways above me and they were swinging open. For the first time, in a long time, I wanted to return home. But as I stood on the threshold, I turned back and looked down. I could see Mari standing alone on the beach looking around for me. She was crying. I looked longingly at home, but I could not leave her. I turned back and landed by her. She seemed to recognize me, even in my celestial form. She hugged me. I touched my snout to the top of her hair.

The stone men came up over the hill, carrying the body of the fallen dragon between them. They looked at me, but stood, as if waiting for something. Down the beach, I saw three figures walking towards us. It was a man, a woman, and a boy only a little older than Mari. I instinctively knew who they were. They stopped and looked at us. I nudged Mari. She looked up and saw them. She took off running. The woman gave a low cry and ran to her, picking her up in her arms. The man and the little boy surrounded her. I stood there, sad, knowing she was back with her family. They nodded to me, and said something in a language I didn’t know, but I could tell they were thanking me.

“Goodbye, Mari.”

She looked up at me over her father’s shoulder.

“Bye, dragon,” she said, saying the first words I ever heard her utter.

They walked up the beach. I silently sent a blessing to them that they would find a safe place far from here. An old man walked up the beach towards me. I didn’t see where he had come from. He was bald, with a long beard and mustache. He carried a fishing pole over his left shoulder. The old man watched the family fade into the distance. The stone men kept vigil. I looked at them warily.

The old man sat on a rock.

“You have nothing to fear from them. They only respond to selfishness. You showed that you could care for another, and put her needs and safety above your own.”

The stone men and the dragon they carried faded away. I knew who he was and I knew what the pattern I was so familiar with was as well.

“Thank you, Grandfather.”

The old man shifted, and the Jade Emperor stood before me. His eyes were sad as he looked at me. It was the first time that I could remember him showing any emotion.

“You turned back to help her, like you always do.”

I shifted to human form and stared out to sea.

“I cannot leave her behind.”

“I know,” He said sitting on the rock next to me.

I was silent a moment. I turned towards him. He didn’t look at me, but he spoke.

“I can see why you care so deeply for these creatures, and why she does as well. It is ironic. The humans think that you are chasing a pearl of wisdom. Even they with all of their limits have part of the story right.”

My face was serious, solemn. They were correct. I was seeking a treasure. I was seeking my precious daughter. We had quarreled, and she had fled. She had taken human form long ago, and had forgotten who she was. She scattered herself throughout the cosmos, so bit by bit I had to do kindness and acts of care and compassion to draw the pieces of her soul together. Part of her spirit had been in Mari, which is why she seemed so familiar. It was both my penance, and my way of reaching out to her. Sometimes, it felt like I was getting through to her but I’d always feel her slipping away, yet again. I had convinced myself I wanted freedom, and that I was wandering where I would, but I wasn’t wandering at all. I was searching. I kept going. Hoping that someday, I would find her, and both of us would be able to return Upstairs.

I looked directly at Grandfather.

“When will this journey end? When will I find our way back?”

The Jade Emperor looked on me. And for the first time that I could ever remember, he smiled.

“A while longer, but sooner than you think. You will find her again. Goodbye, grandson.”

I watched Him walk away.

“Goodbye, Grandfather.”

I felt a pull, this time from somewhere at the opposite end of the world, and in a much different time and place. I assumed my true form, and took to the sky. I had been to the ends of the earth and back, and my journey was millennia long. But I would do it again and again, to get my family back together, and I could never do that without her: my destiny, my lotus... my pearl.

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