The Pace

"An object in motion stays in motion with the same speed and in the same direction unless acted upon by an unbalanced force".

-Isaac Newton

A vague throbbing in my right eye pulled me forth from the painless slumber I was so enjoying. Using my fingtertips I found myself making contact with skin slightly earlier than I should have. What the hell is going on? I can feel mascara clinging to my lashes and through my left eye my manicure certainly still looks fresh, though, dissappointedly more grown out than I would have liked. No matter though, I definitely couldn't have been in a fight because I'm pretty keen on snapping my nails off before throwing a punch. Plus, if I had been angry I always start crying out of rage which, while embarrassing, was helpful because it confirmed I hadn't been angry. Oh and that that horrific screeching rumble? What is that?

"Good Morning Avery" It was a man's voice. Deep and thick but sweet like overripened fruit. It was chilling, in a way that seemed to have only just crossed beyond the threshold of sounding charming.

Snapping upright I looked around the room for the first time. I certainly wasn't home but there was a familiar sense to what was really more of carriage than a room.

"Hello? Who's there? Why can't I see you?"

Insubstantial images flashed through my mind like unformed memories. A dark office and a man smiling at a walnut desk. Distant shouting. A far off scream. But the man and I were both chuckling.

"I imagine you must be feeling a little out of sorts. And before I set the scene for you, let me re-introduce myself"

Up ahead, the door unlatched and a pleasant looking young man walked in wearing olive pants and a peach colored button down. His face was welcoming and he bore a smile that made it hard to believe it was his voice that had sounded so unpleasant moments before. He gestured up towards a few speakers from which I had just heard his voice and behind him I could just make out the back end of what looked like another carriage.

"I'm Cole, you may remember we met last night in my office? Oh and here, I've brought you some ice for your -"

A loud screech and a jolt in the carriage set him off balance and he dropped the bag of ice.

"I don't remember you"- a lie, sort of- "What's going on? Where am I?"

"Come now Avery, let's not play with each other here. You're exactly where you asked to be". He picked up the ice and set it on the seat across from me. Next to the ice a stapled packet of papers lay folded over revealing my signature and just below it was signed 'Cole Fauve' on a line marked 'witness'. Shit. It was coming back now. The office, the consent form, the train station.

"Tell me what's going on right now."

"Now, Avery, let's not-"

"Right the FUCK now Cole!"

Cole's smile melted into a cold, unfeeling expression. "I'm going to leave until you're ready to have a productive conversation with me. But do know, the longer it takes for you to get to that point, the less time you're going to have to beat this thing. Why don't you read over that form and let me know when you're ready to be professional."

*** Three Months Prior***

"Avery you got another piece of mail in Dan's office. It looks like a medical bill or something, from St. Lucy's Center. But, I'm tellin' ya, if Dan sees that shit he's gonna open it and then be all up in your business."

"Yikes- okay I'll go grab that now"

"Now hold on, you're next on stage, you can't go now"

"Take my spot Mags- I'll owe you one and you can try out my new pink flare set- I know you'll fill out the top better than I could"

Mags face lifted into a half smile. "Oh, now you have to know they won't have room to put their bills if I wear a top that tight"

"You've been eyeing it since I opened it. Give it a shot. If it fits you better than me it's yours"

"Okay Deal. But whatever juicy secret you got you betta fix it and fast. Dan doesn't take kindly to sick strippers. Not a lucrative product you see..."

"Watch it Mags- I don't appreciate the judgement and besides, hasn't he ever heard of a GoFundMe?"

"Yeah yeah yeah Avery, get on with it"

******

Snatching up the stapled forms I flipped straight to the cover.

"Evaluation of Risk Taking in Vulnerable Populations- a High Risk Variable Compensation Study"

It was all coming back now. My appointment with St. Lucy's finance department yesterday morning and their shitty ass payment plans. When they told me they had research involvment alternatives I should have known they seemed all too excited about my interest. Once referred to their Director of Psychological Research we had spent some time discussing my current fears and needs and I delved a little too deeply into how stagnant my life had become. I gave up on college, gave up on the arts and was working 12 hour weekend shifts at the gentleman's club to cover my mom's long term care. I had told him I couldn't get my life started anymore than the car I had sitting at home with an empty tank. He had called me 'an object at rest", we had both laughed and then he said I was perfectly eligible for a study that would cover my mom's unpaid bills and then some. I signed that form faster than he could talk through it.

"I'm ready to talk now Cole". The door at the front of the train opened almost immediately and Cole walked in with a smug grin.

"Excellent. I'll make this brief. After your shift, you may recall that you met me in my office to begin your involvement in our research. Do you understand?"

"I think so. It's coming back to me in pieces but what happened to my face? Did I get a concussion? Did you do this to me? You can understand why I might be feeling on edge, can't you agree?"

"Of course I can, and I am getting to that. Anyways, so you came to me, at my office, looking for an alternate source of income to pay for your mom's care. We had a multitude of options but you were looking for the highest compensated study and this one offered varied compensation based on risk. Does this sound familiar."

"Yes, vaguely"

"You, essentially shared some areas in your life that caused you to feel at risk, and I offered you an opportunity to address your feeling of stagnancy and to recieve more than enough compensation to cover your current debts."

"Yes"

"Okay good. Glad we are on the same page. No, there were some aspects of this study that you have remained unaware of until this point, in order to maintain the integrity of the research. If all goes well you will recieve a debrief following your involvment including an explanation of how this information was withheld and the reasons why."

"If all goes well? What do you mean 'if'? You can't ethically put me at risk".

"Well, yes, in this instance, we can. That is where the variable compensation factor comes into play. You opted for the highest compensation which makes you complicit to high risk stakes. It was all explained in the consent form we discussed and signed together. But for the sake of time, I would ask that you allow me to finish before asking any further questions."

"But how-"

"Avery, please. Now, to put it simply, we have taken you out of stagnancy, so to speak, and placed you on a train. We opted to design it much like the train you used to take between your mother and father's houses as a child to ensure the environment looked familiar. Now, this train will derail in about 7 minutes time and continue along a downhill trajectory until you sort out how to stop it. I will tell you, that you are 100% capable of stopping the train, you simply have to sort out how. I will also tell you that, though the rewards are high, the risks are equally as a high. You will walk out of this study either having fixed your life, or having utterly destroyed it. Now, when you entered the trial period, you must have been worn from your shift and managed to fall and knock yourself out on the door handle and landed yourself a nasty black-eye. As a kindness, we have evaluated you and determined that you did have a concussion and have allowed your derailment to be postponed until now. If you are able to stop the train, you will recieve additional medical care at the completion of the study. Do you have any further questions?

I have a million questions. Oh my god I have a million questions. I don't know what to say though. I mean what can I ask right now. How much time did he say, again?

"How long do I have?"

"You now have 3 minutes"

"You can't do this to me"

"I am only doing what you asked for". And at that, Cole stood up and, this time, walked to the back of the train car, and through the door.

My breathing hastened and my head was swimming. There was something he wasn't sharing, this couldn't be real. I can't be this foolish. What about the people in my life who would worry about me. My mother might not be able to remember me but certainly Mags and the other girls at the club would worry if I disappeared. He can't let this happen. Not really. Besides, isn't he on this train with me? I looked back through the door behind me and saw Cole just on the other side. He had his stupid smile on his face and one hand was holding tight onto the link between the two cars and the other held up in what I must have been his idea of a friendly wave. Trying at the door, I realized he must have locked me in because the handle only shimmied. Suddenly, the sound of metal on metal screeched into focus and I realized he had actually been holding the train coupler to and I looked into his eyes as he ripped it up hard. I realized then that his wave was now four fingers and as he pulled the coupler he went to three, then two, then one and, suddenly, my carriage lurched forward and his lingered back as we become disconnected. I was gaining speed and I watched as he came to an ever alluring stop behind me.

***St. Lucy's Office of Psychological Research***

"Well sir, we have just set Avery off on her 6th attempt to stop derailment. I worry she is getting suspicious as she appears to have noticed something off about her manicure when she awoken for this attempt"

"Good work Cole. I imagine it's time we schedule someone to get in and fill her nails before she realizes how much time is passing. That was a good catch."

"Of course sir"

"Now Cole, in your reports, have you noticed any improvement in certain areas? Do you suspect she will be able to stop the derailment any time soon."

"Not looking promising thus far. To be quite frank, for someone who hates being 'stagnant' she sure spends a lot of time sitting in that seat panicking. I would say it will be at lease a few weeks before she is up and evaluating the carriage. Honestly once she does that the answers are all right there. She just needs to start moving really."

"I am sorry to hear that, honestly. I had hoped for more from her. Her mother took years and look where it left things for her."

"Her mother?"

"Her mother signed up about 10 years ago when Avery was looking at colleges. She was hoping for the extra money to push things along for her daughter. In truth, I feel like we owe this opportunity to Avery, seeing how things turned out for her mother."

"Of course sir. Is there anything else you wanted to discuss with the Avery case before I go? Do you have a clear idea how many more attempts we can give her?"

"Let's give her as many as she needs. But go easy on the head injuries. If she ends up like her mother she doesn't have anyone to cover their care costs. We want her to remain intact so she can pick up the pace. I imagine, given a few years and soundness of mind she may learn a thing or two. And once we're able to compensate her for stopping the train, she really will be better off. What greater reward will we get than her gratitude and the knowledge that we were the forces that set her life back in motion?"