The Overdose

There I was standing, with my eyes shut. Kissing the man of my dreams. I just heard the words “ You may kiss the bride. “ And I was so ready to be his woman for the rest of my life. The life I had left behind was painful and I did a lot of things to climb out of that rabbit hole. But here I was, finally. With Mr. Dreamy . I could feel his soft , warm lips on mine. But then, I felt a very cold wind. I opened my eyes and tried to comprehend what I was seeing. No ! I looked around and seen everyone at my outdoor wedding, on the ground. In snow! Most were face down. The pastor was slumped over. And my groom. My beautiful love was on the floor of the gazebo. Also face down. There was snow in blankets, matching my wedding dress. Snow in my hair. My lips were cold. How long had I been here? What happened? Is this a dream? Yes it must be. Or rather a nightmare. The wind howled around the gazebo and I looked at my frozen bouquet. I kneeled down to touch my husband. So cold. I turned him over , and it was scary. His eyes. They were like two frozen butterflies. I screamed and rose up. I turned to the pastor and his eyes were the same. Frozen butterflies .

I looked over at the building we had rented that the gazebo had been placed near. I gathered my dress and started inside. It moved. It moved the snow. My dress was whirling behind me, the train of it behind me like snow flying through the air. I opened the huge white gate and the whole city was dark. And warm. I stepped forward in my heels. They glistened in the night. But this was not the city I knew. Where was i? In fact it was only a meadow . I decided this must be a dream and to just go on and leave the gated arctic behind. My dress, began to change again. Into blooming pink flowers. The snow disappeared from my hair and I felt a warm wind blow over me. Someone was whispering. Two little girls. They looked my way and started to laugh and as soon as they seen me look, they ran off. I went after them. But these shoes were not made for running. I unhooked them and holding them in my hand took off running barefoot across the soft grass. They jumped into the water and I stopped as soon as I seen that this was not just water. This was another world. They flew down , through clouds, laughing together. I looked behind me. No one was near. What did I have to lose? I jumped and suddenly I was flying into another world. Flower petals were flying off of my dress. And at a very fast pace. By the time I landed, with a thud onto a bed in the middle of nowhere, my dress was mostly gone. I looked to see that my engagement ring and wedding ring were also gone.

“ Are you the maiden, I've been searching for all of my life?” , I heard a voice. And there he was. A man dressed as The Mandolorian . This dream could not get any more weird “ Umm, I don't think so”, I answered nervously. Wait, I could do whatever I want, right? It is just a dream. He stood in all of his armor. Looking with his head cocked to the side. “ Or , maybe I am. I could be . Would you like me to be ?, I asked trying to look alluring but not easy . He moved closer. “ I have searched for you everywhere and finally, here you are right where I had not yet looked .” He was so close to me that my face was inches from his….. helmet. “ We will only know if I kiss you “, he says, taking my hand. I am ready. I go to kiss his helmet, without even thinking. He laughs. “ In a hurry, are we?” , he says. I guess my husband is sleeping beside of me, in reality. I hope I don't make any noises and that he forgives me for this. I close my eyes to kiss him as he takes his head gear off. Our lips touch. And suddenly, I open my eyes. Something smells strange and he is breathing fast. “ Aaaahhh!” I scream. It is Nacho Libre…I mean Jack Black ,dressed as Nacho Libre . The little girls appear, as little fairies. They start laughing and fly off. I get up. I have no dress so I grab the sheet from the bed and go after them, leaving or Nacho Libre on one knee, puckering up. “ I'm so sorry!, I yell to him and go after them in my long sheet. I turn the corner to see a sunrise and the wind blowing towards me . I feel I should be in a movie. But this is just a dream I tell myself. Leaves of all colors are flying through the air all around me. I keep chasing them. “ That was a mean trick!”, I yell. “ Do you know how long I wanted to kiss The Mandolorian, even with his helmet on!” How odd I must admit. But here I can say just what I think and feel. They both keep laughing with each other and motion for me to follow them but never speaking to me. I run in what feels like slow motion. I run until I get to the top of a grassy hilltop. “ okay, this is really beautiful but I want to wake up “, I say to them. They shake their heads “no”. I pinch myself. I even bite my own arm. “ Look, I don't know what is going on. But I want my life back. My normal life. With my new husband and my family. Please help me. Let me wake back up" , I cried. They looked sad. They wanted me here. But I didn't understand why. I just wanted to go back to my wedding day. I laid on the soft pillowy grass and pulled a flower from the ground. I began to cry. They came and whispered to me. And I fell asleep.

Everyone was clapping. I opened my eyes and there I was, back with my new and beautiful husband. Everyone smiling and clapping. Summer was in full bloom. No snow in sight. And tears running down my face. My husband wiped them and kissed my cheek. Everyone went inside and we began the celebration with the cutting of the cake and dancing. I looked down at my cake. The bottom layer was chocolate. And there was a small slice missing. “ You just couldn't help yourself, could you?”, he asked. I don't remember eating a piece of my wedding cake. Any other cake , yes. I would sneak a piece. But not my wedding cake. Am I really that out of control. “ oh, she did, I have the proof right here", my mom said taking out her phone and showing us the picture. People began to laugh. I couldn't believe myself. But my loving husband adored it and we cut it again, this time together.

As we danced, I remembered my dream so vividly. Yes those little beautiful fairies. I know who they are! Tears began to fill up my eyes. I had been pregnant but miscarried . And those were my babies. I did not know there would have been two. But they looked identical. And beautiful. They showed me so much in such a short amount of time. But most of all, I know they're always with me. Laughing and happy. I heard voices as I closed my eyes against his chest. “ No one knows if she will ever wake up. Keeping her hooked to this machine for another how many ever years will not bring her back. It is time, for you and for her, to let her go. It has been 5 years she's been in a coma. She just was not strong enough to overcome her addiction and get help, not even pregnant “, I heard a familiar voice. Loud and clear. But I could do nothing. There was some more talk and prayer, right over me as if I wasn't here. But was I ? Then , a noise that may be frightening to some. But to me I knew where I was going. The heart stopped. The breathing stopped. I went. Back to the water. Through the clouds. Flying with my little girls. Here is where we'll stay. Here is where I can be the mother I was supposed to be, and eat all the chocolate cake I desire.