The other side of nowhere

ON THE OTHER SIDE OF NOWHERE

Run. When you get too tired to run. Keep running.

That’s what they said. But it’s never that easy.

I can’t outrun my own body. The biological imperative to breathe and to rest. The spongy flesh that never got enough to eat, the creaky joints that resist and tell me to stop feel like chains pulling me back.

I clutch the heart-shaped locket around my neck. It’s weight heavy and constricting around my neck, but I can’t let it go. Too many times I thought I felt it break or fall off. I need to know it is still there.

A sentimental bit of foolishness, I suppose. Especially when the photo inside is of a long-dead family member whose name I don’t know, from a place that no longer exists. But it’s the only thing I own.

Selene is ahead of me. Her face was covered in dust and cuts. She braces herself against the concrete wall. She feels along the muddy surface as if it pushes her onto the exit of the tunnel toward the feeble light ahead.

I stumble and fall into a puddle of cold brackish water. A shock races through my body, it motivates me, drives me on and I get to my feet.

We’re getting close. Close to leaving the City of Utopia behind. This was the last tunnel, then over a flooded canal, then onto a new life.

Selene stands at the edge of the tunnel staring over the world in front of us. I approach and stand by her. She takes my hand as she struggles to catch her breath.

Beyond the canal, there is nothing but fields of endless, dead, and twisted trees. Thousands of them melting into the horizon like static.

“Is this it?” I ask.

She lets go of my hand. “Yeah, just a little further.”

Can this be it? Are we running from hunger to starvation? From the daily threat of violence to certain death? Can this really be it?

I feel light-headed. “Where do we go next?”

Selene looks at me. “They just said keep running. Run into the forest and you’ll find home.”

Home? Does this look like a home?

Home had a roof over my head. Blankets to keep warm. A light at night.

What did this dead forest have?

Selene pushed onward.

Maybe it wasn’t too late to go back. Maybe no one noticed we were gone.

Utopia was forgiving. Utopia was merciful. Utopia was safe.

I could live knowing there would be a tomorrow.

Selene turned and motioned for me to hurry up.

But there were no tomorrows for my brother Doro.

The sneering face of the Guardian, his rifle smoking from the bullet that had been fired into my brother’s brain. “To keep you is no benefit. To destroy you is no loss,” he said.

Those killing words of the regime, no doubt stolen from another time or place, were ones they ruled by.

I followed Selene. Each step she took found new energy as she pressed forward to the tree line.

My legs carried me forward. Even if the future were bleak, it still held Selene. I tried to catch her, to close the distance between us, but my body rebelled. It couldn’t go faster. Five hundred meters were all that remained.

Keep going. Keep running. It was all that I could think.

The sound of my own panting and my feet sloshing through the water-filled my ears. But I also heard a faint whine. Growing louder every second.

Selene turned, her face agape. “Drones!”

We didn’t have long. I put all of my strength and all of my effort into running. Trying not to trip on my feet or the debris in the gutter. I stumbled and fell into a stream of water. A flurry of bullets splashing ahead of me.

I wouldn’t get a second chance. Pushing myself up I focused on Selene trying to follow her steps, her reaction to the drones behind us. When she weaved, I weaved. When she slowed, I slowed. When she ducked, I ducked.

The drones missed and it bought us time. Nearer and nearer the grey expanse drew closer.

A slatted gate lowered, cutting off our path of escape.

“Slide under!” Selene shouted. She ducked under the grate and I made the last few mental calculations to judge my escape.

A powerful thud struck my back and through my shoulder. I fell into the water, tumbled, and landed against the base of the barrier.

It was closed and the water turned red.

To keep you is no benefit. To destroy you is no loss.

“Selene!”

“Here,” she whispered in my ear.

I pulled the locket from around my neck and handed it to her.

She looked to the sky as the air hummed like a swarm disturbed.

“Go. Find a home.”

She looked at me, her brown eyes filling with tears. The quiver in her jaw. She wouldn’t pull herself away. I couldn’t bear it for her to die here. I pushed myself up with my good arm. Gritting through the pain and walked toward the city.

Lights swarmed around me, and a burst shot through my heart.

I fell into the water. Selene was gone and it was my turn to die.

Darkness surrounded me. Carrying me to the other side of nowhere.