One Christmas, the roommate went on a date with his girlfriend. I was alone in my room. I turned the bathroom lights on, turned the hot water light on, and the bathroom fogged up with light, like a miracle manifestation. I was surfing the internet, journaling, tweeting, pretending I was waiting for a woman to finish her shower and come out to have sex with me in a room across from the living room, but I actually turned on the water and no one was in the bathroom.
My roommate came back with a girl, and he looked at the bathroom in surprise.
"Did you bring someone back?"
I should have been honest, but the truth is so pathetic that I replied with, "Well, I brought someone back."
He patted me and said, "Good boy, you really can't tell, so I'll leave you alone, and then with a secretive smile, he and his girlfriend went into his room.
But there was no one in the bathroom, the water was turned on by me, and after a while, I thought it was a waste, so I turned the water off and went back to my room and fell asleep.
Later my roommate told people that I had a girlfriend. Other people asked me once, you have a girlfriend. How do I say it. I can only say yes, well, I have a girlfriend.
Because I couldn't tell them that I turned on the water and there was no one in the bedroom.
So I had a troubled time. I couldn't go out with my friends because they heard that I had a girlfriend.
"Go be with your little lover," a group of them coaxed and chased me away.
The foreman welfare handed out movie tickets and they gave me two, I pretended to be grateful, but where would I find another person to go to the movies with me. So I was alone, with my popcorn in the seat next to me.
"Did you and your girlfriend fight?" They asked me, how should I answer. I say, not often, it's true, well, we don't fight.
Some times they don't see my girlfriend and wonder why they don't see yours. And some straight-talking girls say, you never buy your girlfriend anything, and say, no quarrel, it's a cold war, break up. So I was pulled by them to buy some women's gadgets, some really nice things, I think, in the time I gave her, she will be very happy.
Then they still didn't meet my girlfriend, never did. What do I do? Tell them there was no one in the bathroom and that I turned the water on? No, I couldn't say it. There was no way out, I bought some tampons, uncommon types, and lipstick, some foundation.
Someone came into my room and said who these things belonged to.
"Those are my girlfriend's, because she sometimes spends the night at my place, so I have some regular supplies for her, like sanitary napkins, and this is the kind she uses especially."
The woman listened with teary eyes and grabbed her boyfriend's sleeve, look at her boyfriend! The man beside him showed an embarrassed look.
Who would not believe me? Who would not believe that I have a girlfriend. It's just that she has a weird personality and doesn't like to see people.
I give tampon drops of coke every other day and throw them in the toilet trash, I wipe them on my foundation before I go to work and wipe them on my face. If only there was a camera that left pictures of my bedroom every day, those things were diminishing day by day and it would look like I had an invisible girlfriend. Everyone believed I had a girlfriend anyway, and no one would notice that there was no one in the bathroom and that I turned on the water.
After another long time, the foreman approached me to the office with a concerned face and somehow gave me a day off, and the two girls at the next table looked at me with sympathy and encouraged me that a man as good as me could surely find a better one. I realized that someone saw me go to the movies alone, and saw me sitting alone in a seat for two people, crying in the middle of the movie.
Oh, so I was out of love, although the film was very touching ah!
I simply want to scold myself, this is a long time ago can lead to a path of relief, I should have said so long ago ah! The tampons and foundation were too expensive, and I bought Channel cosmetics. I didn't know I was going to have no money to pay the rent after so long!
I pulled my hair, very painful look, I saw them cover their mouths again, protect the sides of the bridge of the nose with their hands, fan into the eyes, back over their heads. Finally, there is still a person who can not help but also cried.
I did not cry, I have nothing to feel clear with my girlfriend.
I'm single again, after two comfort meals, everything returned to the calm of life, a girl to introduce me to his girlfriend.
"He buys special sanitary napkins for her girlfriend!" They were relentless, telling stories of infatuation that my department didn't know about. Did they? The girl who introduced me looked at me from the side of her head.
What do I do, I can only say, yes, do I have to tell her that there is no one in the bathroom and that I turned on the water.
I went out with the girl twice, and then she politely split it up.
"Your heart is empty, I feel like you're still in love with her, and I don't have the confidence to take that place. "Her eyes were red. Before leaving, and gave me a hug.
This girl is really interesting. I don't have a girlfriend, the water in the bathroom is turned on by me. But I couldn't tell him.
Then no one introduced me to a girlfriend.
I started to think about my ex-girlfriend after she said this, and then I remembered that I don't have an ex-girlfriend, there was no one in the bathroom, and the water was turned on by me.
It was Christmas again, and the same roommate was out with a different girl, and I was alone in the house surfing the Internet.
I thought at that time, I wonder what it was that turned the hot water light on in the bathroom that Christmas? I lit a cigarette alone, in the dim light, feeling very quiet, thought for a long time, and suddenly remembered that I was imagining that there was a girl who belonged to me.
Without resisting this temptation, I turned on the light, twisted on the hot water, and the bathroom was foggy with light, like a miracle manifested. At that moment, my roommate came back with the girl in his arms, and he looked at the bathroom, first with curiosity, then with a look of surprise and delight.
"Is that her coming back?"
The girl next to him looked overjoyed and said to my roommate, "Is that the one you told me about, the one he used to have as a girlfriend?"
The two were so happy that they were jumping and dancing around the living room with joy, as if they were Joseph and Mary.
"No, no one." I said, "I turned on the water in the bathroom."