The Manger

The Manger

This barn was no ordinary barn.

It was the barn of The Manger.

And although this barn had forgotten it was so.

It was about to be told to remember.

A GIANT spider landed plum in the middle of the four walls made of ancient oak with a spine of pines. It tested its legs and then moved forwards and backwards until it had the right rhythm. It would dance out the journey, for the voyage had been long and the cosmos well-travelled with a right turn at the Moon.

A woodpecker had got its beak stuck in the small hole made by a squirrel with ADHD. The woodpecker was named Yeshu and couldn’t believe his eyes for the squirrel was kind and had given him eye holes too and now he could see a GIANT spider dancing in old Salvatore’s barn. IT WAS THE SIZE OF A COMBINE HARVESTER but wasn’t a machine. Oh no. It was a bloomin hairy spider! A sashaying, salsa-ing, spooky, swanky spider. The woodpecker got excited at the money it could make from such a supernatural scoop but then remembered it was stuck. ‘Shoot! That stupid squirrel! Why did it make holes that I want to poke myself in and see what is all about? I am as foolish as a skateboarding silly trout! Cursed be the bat that sat you on his knee and told you you could chew.’

He flapped his wings but nothing. He was stuck in this old barn watching a gigantic spider rumba around and he would make no dosh but likely be eaten with squash.

Yeshu believed that the spider might identify as a she but didn’t want to assume considering he had never seen so many legs sledging around on hay and aged old cow dung.

The dance carried on for another twenty-four minutes and the woodpecker longed for music but only saw more shuffling and high kicks.

‘I will give the spider (maybe a she) an eight out of ten for there has to be more creativity and certainly more flair. There is definitely some technique but much room for improvement there. Fuse the old with the new. Give me something original please.’

The spider suddenly squealed.

‘Ahhh! My ankle. My third on the left ankle! The capillaries and the caterpillars have burst. Ahhh!’

The spider ground to a halt and then slumped onto the mush of hay and dung now a sloppy dancefloor. Caterpillars that still had life wriggled on and then sprang into butterflies before disappearing. One, slightly rebellious fly of bright blue colours didn’t want to leave and scooped a mini slab of sawdust from the high up beams which was then blown the woodpeckers way.

So began a sneezing fit with no way for wings to hit the button of flight or sound the bluetit tannoy for the aid of a hankie. ‘Oh Chief of the nasal cloth give me help!’

‘Ahh choooo!’ Yeshu screeched out.

The spider, half inspecting the injury and half acknowledging the commotion stared out at the beak and eyes peering at Herste (Galactic Gondal way for Her which is beyond our Earth her but anyway). Herste legs were breathing and her mind said ‘WAT is ZAT BOOM BANG BEAK BEFORE MEE? The woodpecker still hadn’t finished sneezing, so the spider watched some more, then laughed a lot and asked the cheeky butterfly to leave.

‘Saluti.’ Spiderama Rini said.

Yeshu looked astonished. ‘You speak Italian?’ My wife is from Italy. Naples. Lots of fire and fine pasta to peck on.’

Spiderama Rini struggled onto multiple legs.

‘Yes. I speak every language known to man, sage and lilac tree.’

‘Oooh, Show Off!’ said the Woodpecker. ‘I’ll dock you one point for arrogance indeed.’

The spider shook the enormous head that had arrived the old barns way.

‘Well… you’re the one stuck in this shack of a space, so I guess that’s called idiocy. And yet…’

‘WHAT?’ The Woodpecker proclaimed.

‘If you ask St Teresa, she will say that this is the barn that bore the manager that flew through space and time and let the mouth of love wail and rest its head those first few days of hope.’

‘Sugar and salt and berries gone sour! No way?’ Yeshu replied with.

‘Yes way.’ Spiderama Rini said.

‘So, what are you doing here?’

The Spider smiled and out shone a realm of seventy-seven stars all entwining at the waist and signing off records of reverie.

The barn was then awash with a rainbow that floated and swirled and massaged the air with its presence. It noticed the woodpecker and made a detour for the eyes and the beak. The woodpecker named Yeshu had never seen a rainbow so close and yet the feeling was so simple and pure that when it neared him all he could do was remember an eternity of colour and light and love sung by the sea.

Suddenly an orchestra had been summoned.

The music was getting louder and the strength of the sound was ultimate and divine. It was Il Barbiere Di Siviglia: Largo Al Farmyard fresco for all the animals and insects close by were now in choirs and Pavarotti packs and the old barn was alight with music. LAAAADADADAHHHHHHHAHHOOOOOO.

The woodpecker knew this was suicide for all sentient beings for old Salvatore hated a racket but still could move no more and now accepted his fate.

A pig wailed like a tenor and a goose gandered like a fine virtuoso’s violinist on pronto allegro for those who liked to be plucked. There was a seesaw of soprano from a mouse and a cow and a sow played the banjo whilst a horse looked on.

‘Finally!’ The spider, also a wizard said. ‘The reason I was dancing has arrived! Now remember barn of ancient wood that you are more than just this place. You are life. You are energy. You are the home that gave the manger grace. Chase away the cobwebs and grant your part for another start is nigh and everyone has forgotten it is all but play. Remember the hums of songs when you were young. Remember the animals singing with you. Remember the years that swam by and waved at you.

Wake up. Wake up. Wake up.

Barn. Oh old barn. Wake up. You are not dead.’

The squirrel with ADHD, that only a minute before was reading a comic called the Beano, walked into the middle of the floor and danced a twirl and then took out his guitar and played Here Comes The Sun.

Barn.

Barn.

Arise thee Barn.

And the barn creaked and rustled a bit and then the wood had eyes and they opened and it laughed and welcomed the madness.

The spider finally asked the squirrel to stop strumming and the squirrel nodded and went off to vacuum where the piglets had dropped twiglets.

‘Right, Barn, Mighty Barn! It’s time for lift off. We gotta go house more rainbows. Remember the bagpipes and ask your roots for flight.’

The Barn asked for all animals to leave the festival now in full swing and try to remain equal. Spiderama Rini struggled to a barrel where the squirrel had left his guitar. She strummed a cosmic flare and looked Yeshu’s way.

‘Release yourself from old wounds dear one and hail the highest. For your wings will take you there.’

And with that the woodpecker was free and the old barn with spider strapped in was up and away into the high melting skies.

The trees soon stopped shaking and the woodpecker could not believe those eyes that now saw more than just one space. And the squirrel strode up to the winged barn fan and said, ‘do you think I’ll get that guitar back? I nicked it from old Salvatore’s gran.’