The Love I Lost

The moon illuminates the glass beside me , as we're driving down an empty highway. Everything seems still for a moment . Just a moment.. a breathe is heard in the silence. 80 miles doesn't seem too fast when you're sitting passenger side. I lost you there at that moment. A crow flew in front of the headlights as the overpass came too quickly. That peaceful, blissful moment was gone just as quickly as it came.

It was December 13, 2017. I messily flipped the calender to December and marked a heart on Christmas Day. It sat on 'February' for as long as I could remember. Melting colors filled the streets as the holidays were quickly approaching. I made my way out of bed and threw on my favorite pair of red and black plaid pajama pants. Grey, fuzzy raccoon slippers adorned my feet. "Man, I'm due for a new pair of slippers soon, these are falling apart," I thought to myself. My neighbors were shoveling their driveways as I peeked through the frosted windows, hair askew in a messy bun from two days prior. I walk to the kitchen, open the cupboard, grab a coffee pod, and put it in the coffee maker. I've always loved the smell of freshly brewed coffee. It's one of my guilty pleasures. I mosey my way to the day bed, surrounded by gifts that still need to be wrapped. Overwhelmed by the thought of what needs to be done, I sip my coffee. Sitting back against the windowpane, I glance back out the frosted windows and I notice a black crow sitting amongst the dead trees. We lock eyes, the stillness in the air leaves me breathless. She opens her wings for me and begins to fly amongst the skyline. I come back to reality and carry on with wrapping gifts. Looking over across the room, I notice a Fleetwood Mac vinyl sticking out of its sleeve. I pop the record into the player and dance around the living room. I hear footsteps approaching at the front door and a hard knock pounds on the metal. I get up and look through the peephole. It's my wife! "Aisley!" I scream. I jump and hug her tightly. Her warm embrace and the sweet scent of honeysuckle graces the doorway. "What are you doing here?" I ask eagerly. "Well, I got a week of vacation time and figured I'd surprise you!" she exclaimed. "Let's go out and get some dinner," she offers. I can't stop thinking about how much I have to do between these gifts and cleaning. "Well, I have a lot to do but sure, why not?" I say. Hmm, what should I wear?

The red knit sweater with leggings or just stay in the clothes I have on? I guess I should put on some actual clothes. I slip out of my plaid pants, throw on my leggings and sweater. I take my hair down, run my fingers through it and apply some light makeup. I grab my favorite black, tattered combat boots and lace them up. These have seen many years of my life. I grab my bag and out the door, we go. Snow trickles on the pavement as we're driving down the quiet road. The sun is set amongst the trees, its rays stretching for miles. Oranges, pinks, purples; melting into one harmonious gradient amongst the clouds. I love watching the timeless beauty of the sun setting. It took a little while, but we finally arrived at our favorite restaurant. A cute 50's themed diner with classic cheeseburgers, fries, and milkshakes. We walk in and the waitress greets us, sits us in a booth, and hands us the small menus. "I already know what I want," Aisley says as she smiles. "I'm sure you do," I giggle. The waitress comes back around and I order two cheeseburgers with fries and two chocolate shakes with whipped cream and cherries. It's about 20 minutes before the food comes out and Aisley dives right into the burger. I'm captivated by her and all that she is, I swear. I'm so lucky to have found her. We finish eating and we leave a few dollars underneath the glasses. We walk back to the car and Aisley suggests taking a different route back home. "I want to show you the lights going down Rt. 62. The entire highway is lit up, it's gorgeous," she exclaims. "I would love that, that would be amazing!" I say eagerly. I turn up the radio, a classic Led Zepplin song booms through the speakers and I lay my head against the cold, damp window. We get on Rt. 62 and Aisley notices something strange. "That's odd, the highway is usually packed with cars waiting to see the light show these houses put on," Aisley says questioningly. I don't think too much of it because it is snowing, after all. We get a few minutes into the light show, driving slowly as we tune the radio to 101.7. The lights are synced with the music, how neat! I get a sense of impending doom, my stomach knots up and I asked Aisley if we could pull off on the side of the ride. "Why? What's wrong?" she asks. The blinding lights peer through the windshield as the music blares through the speakers. Aisley speeds up, clocking in at 80 miles per hour to escape these incoming lights. The overpass is approaching quickly. The truck veers off in front of us, smashing into the front driver's side as the Christmas music haunts the silence. The beautiful, majestic crow that I had seen perched upon those branches flew in front of the headlights, as the sirens screamed in the dead of night. At that moment, I knew I had lost the love I had.