The Last Payphone

The last payphone was anything but special. Its black stand was chipped and covered in stickers ranging from Hello Kitty to a skeleton flipping you the bird. Its rectangular casing was cracked and the left half was pretty much non-existent. The phone book was gone, rust clung to the corners, and the phone was worn and covered in dirt.

Mac and Gerry stood before the relic admiring what their ancestors had used before the rectangular plastic that radiated in their pockets.

"Do you think it still works?" Asked Gerry.

Mac shrugged, "I don't see why not. I could always try it out. I doubt the bigwigs would get upset if we made one last call before we decommissioned it."

Gerry nodded as he pulled out his hot pink vape and took a long drag. Smoke billowed from his nostrils making him look like a steam engine. He offered the pen to Mac, but he shook his head.

"Min doesn't want me smoking anymore. Says it makes her feel like she's kissing an air freshener. Besides, I got an important call to make."

With the phone cradled in his neck, Mac hovered over the numbers contemplating who he should call. It was a lot of pressure. He could call anyone and they would have no idea who he was. He had to choose someone great to commemorate this final call, but he didn't really know anyone that important. He then handed the phone to Gerry and said,

"Why don't you call that girl from the bar. She won't know it's you and you can see if that guy she was with answers."

Gerry crinkled his nose. "No way, she was ugly. Besides, I'm talking to this girl I met online. She's a bartender at Chubs."

"Then call her."

"Yeah right, talking on the phone is weird. Besides, I'm already texting her. I don't want her thinking I'm obsessive."

Mac hung the phone back on the receiver. "Then let's just rip this thing out of the ground and go home. It's hot as hell and if we leave now we could probably grab a drink at Chubs."

Gerry shook his head. "Can't. The girl I'm texting is working tonight. That would be way too soon. We just started talking."

Fuuuuuuck man, if I can't go to another bar because one of your flings of the month is there I'm gonna be pissed. Why do I even hang out with you?"

"Because of my undeniable charm?"

"Whatever, Ger. Hey, are we using the payphone or not? I've loosened the bolts enough to access the wires, so if we are making a call now would be a great time to do it."

Gerry leaned on the device and the plastic shell shifted. "Shit!" Yelled Gerry as he stumbled to the ground. Mac laughed and was rewarded with a tackle from Gerry. The two rolled around in the dirt for an embarrassing amount of time before a passerby yelled, "Get a room!"

Hearing this, the two brutes pushed themselves away from each other and readjusted their blue Tele Line safety vests.

Their scuffle had completely removed the protective casing over the phone revealing a phone number scratched into the plastic underneath.

"We should call this number, Mac!"

"There ain't no way in hell I'm calling that number. It's probably some demon shit. You call it."

"I will. You fuckin wuss." Gerry whispered that final part, but started pressing the phone number into the keys.

800-800-8008

The phone rang. It rang, and it rang. Until finally, someone picked up.

"Hello, this is Penelope!"

Gerry froze. The girl who got away was named Penelope. Surely this wasn't the same one? "Hi, Penelope. This is Gerry."

"Baby! I'm so glad it's you! I saw the 800 number and figured it was a telemarketer. What are you doing calling me with this number? Are you okay?"

Gerry couldn't believe what he was hearing. He looked towards Mac who mouthed, "Who is it?" Gerry waved him off and answered Penelope.

"Sorry, Hon. I thought you were mad at me?"

Penelope giggled, which made Gerry's heart bubble and his stomach churn. "Why would I be made at you, Silly?" Her voice turned serious, "Did you forget the formula?"

"Formula!? Why would we need formula? We never had a kid?" As if on cue, a baby started crying in the background.

"Really, Gerry!? This isn't funny. Please get the formula. Gerald Jr. is hungry. I better go so I can walk around with him. Finish whatever it is you are doing and come home. Love you!"

The line cut before Gerry could respond. What the hell was that? thought Gerry. Penelope and I broke up three years ago. She couldn't possibly have a kid that young with me. Was she fucking with me? Gerry pulled out his cell phone and tried calling her again. She didn't answer, so he kept trying until she did.

"You better be fucking dying, Gerald! I told you I didn't ever want to talk to you again!"

This was the version of Penelope he remembered, but hearing it made his chest hurt. He wanted the other version to be true. "Penelope..."

"What!? Why are you saying my name like that? Is this a joke? I knew I shouldn't have answered."

"No wait! I... It's good to hear your voice..." Gerry kept hearing the cries of his non-existent child. Had it all been in his head? "I was..."

Mac grabbed the phone and hung up.

"Dude!? What the fuck!?"

"What the fuck? What the fuck!? I should be asking you the same thing Gerry. You said if I ever caught you talking to that bitch Penelope I should kick your ass. you're lucky I just took the phone away. Why in the hell did you call her anyway? I thought you hated her?"

"Just give me my phone back. I gotta make things right."

Mac shook his head. "Nu uh! This is for your own good." Mac tucked the Gerry's phone into his own pocket and added, "if you want to call her so bad, then use the payphone."

Gerry moaned, "I don't know her number. That's why we save them to our phones now."

"And you claim to love this girl? I did you a favor. Now move. I gotta pull this thing up so we can go home. My feet hurt and I need a beer."

"No. You gotta dial the number we found on the payphone. I want to see if you get the same person."

"Why? You called your ex. I don't want to talk to her."

"I swear to God, Mac. I didn't call her, but it was her. A different version of her, and we had a kid named Gerald Jr. It was like my dream version of her."

"That's sad as hell, Gerry. You were horrible to each other. If I remember correctly, I had to come over while you were dating because she threw all of your shit to the curb for talking to the bartender. And then, there was that time she took your card and bought herself a whole new wardrobe without asking. You both screamed more profanity at one another than we do, and she keyed your car when you broke up."

"I wasn't perfect. Some of those things were warranted." Gerry's shoulders fell, "I guess you're right. Thanks, Mac. I would like someone to love me and to have a kid. Could you just try the number? Just in case?"

Mac sighed, "That's sad, but I'll give the number a ring. Only because I like proving you wrong.

Mac punched the 800 number into the phone and it rang a few times before a sultry voice answered.

"Congratulations called number eight! This is Richard Prax and you are our next contestant! What's your name?"

Mac's mouth dropped. Gerry started punching his shoulder nothing, "I told you! I told you!"

Mac shushed him and answered Richard, "Mac Lower. I'm a big fan of your show."

Richard Prax chuckled, "Isn't everyone? Well Mac, to win the Phone Fortune all you have to do is get someone else to pick up the phone when we call them. Who do you know who will help win you a million dollars?"

Mac fumbled with his pocket and threw Gerry's phone back at him. "Gerry Smith! Gerry Smith!" Mac points at Gerry's phone and mouths, "When that thing rings, answer it."

Gerry, who was clearly confused, asked why. Mac didn't hear him, though. All he could hear was Richard Prax and the upbeat theme of Phone a Fortune.

"Gerry Smith it is! What's his number, Mac?"

Mac gave Gerry's phone number to Richard who said, "Theodora, call Gerry Smith and Phone that Fortune!!" The crowd in the background chanted the catchphrase as well and Gerry's phone started to ring.

Mac's heart felt like it would burst from his chest. He'd never been so giddy in his life. He started to hop around the payphone as he thought about all the things he was going to buy with a million dollars.

Gerry answered his phone. Mac was so giddy that the world started to spin and all he could hear was Richard Prax asking Gerry all sorts of questions.When Gerry hung up, Richard asked Mac, "Well, Mac, how does it feel to be a millionaire!?

Mac couldn't speak. His tongue was doing flips so he just stammered. Richard laughed for the crowd and told Mac to give an email and his people would reach out on how he could claim his money. Mac stumbled through until the call ended. he was still clutching the phone with a crazy grin when Gerry tapped him on the shoulder.

"You okay? You've been there for like twenty minutes. Who did you talk to?"

Mac gave his friend a questionable look. "Real funny man. I'll still hang out with you even though I'm a millionaire now."

"What!? How did you become a millionaire after one phone call?"

"Phone a Fortune! Haven't you seen it?"

Gerry started bursting out laughing. "Mac, that show got canceled two years ago." He then typed into his phone and showed the Phone a Fortune Wiki to Mac who gasped.

"It really is cancelled." Mac took a seat on the ground to let this all sink in. "So I'm not a millionaire?"

"I don't think so, but you could try calling back."

Mac did try, but every time he did he just got the busy signal. "It's not working. You try, Gerry. My money is on the line!"

Gerry took the phone, but it also wouldn't dial for him. "That's so weird." Replied Gerry. "If I hadn't spoken to Penelope from this thing and seen you talk to someone I would have thought I made the whole thing up."

Mac and Gerry both stood there staring at the payphone. Something had changed within them, but they couldn't quite place it. Mac pulled his cellphone out and dialed the number on it. When he did, the payphone rang. Gerry answered it, but the voice on the other line wasn't Mac's. It was Gerry's, but a different Gerry. A difference that he could only describe as happy.

"Gerry. IT's me. I know what you are searching for. You want the piece of my life that you heard when you spoke with Penelope. It's possible. Maybe not for your version of Penelope, but someone. Do some reflection." The real Gerry took a shaky hit from his vape. This was all just took much. "And stop doing that. If you want to change, start by throwing that pen away. Sit with your feelings. you won't find what you are looking for if you hide behind the veil you keep shrouding yourself with. Recreational use is fine, but you and I both know it's more than that for you. Now hang up. Consider this your last call. No one will be on this phone for you again. Let yourself be loved. And try to learn to love yourself. Goodbye, Gerry."

"Goodbye," whispered the real Gerry. He then placed the phone on its cradle and crushed his vape pen under his boot.

"What did you do that for?" Asked Mac.

"It was time for a change. Let me call the number on my phone. I think you have one more call in you."

Mac rubbed his hands with glee and when the payphone started to ring, he snatched it. "Mac! It's Richard Prax. Thought I lost you there."

"Is this a joke!?" Yelled Mac, " I saw that Phone a Fortune got cancelled. Are you pulling my chain for some sort of gag?"

Richard chuckled. "No, Mac. I'm not yanking your chain, but I do need to apologize. I don't have a million dollars to give, but that doesn't mean you won't ever be a millionaire. My job is to show people what they want. You want stability, and money can bring that, but it can also bring trouble. You gotta earn it, and I believe you can. I'm assuming that guy Gerry you had us call is a friend. Lean on him, and others you trust. You aren't the only one looking out for you. I think with the right help, you will get all the stability you could ever need."

"That's a load of horse shit! I want the money you promised me!"

Richard laughed once more, causing Mac's blood to boil. "I know you do, but my time is up. Think about what I said and you'' get that million some day. Goodbye, Mac."

The line cut off and Mac slammed the phone onto the receiver. "Fucking bastard! He thinks he can just waste my time and tell me how to live my life? What an ass!"

"Was it the same guys from last time?" Asked Gerry.

"Yeah, and he admitted that it was all a hoax. Did Penelope tell you how to live your life too?"

Gerry shook his head. "No. This time the voice I heard was my own. Well, it was and it wasn't. It was some version of me, but not me? Does that make sense?"

"None of this makes sense. Why did you get to talk to yourself, but I got the con man again? Doesn't seem fair. I want my money!"

"What if you could still get it?" Asked Gerry. "If the payphone worked for us whose to say it won't work for someone else? We just gotta get rid of it. The higher ups didn't say where. What if we took it somewhere and started charging people to use it? You'd make your money, and we'll get this job done."

Mac twirled his beard as he thought. "That ain't a bad idea, but we have to prove it works or no one will use it. I also don't see what you gain by doing this?"

"Stability. And helping out a friend. Now let's remove this thing. It's getting late and I'm hungry."

The two men made short work of the removal. Since the casing was off that had quick access to the anchor bolts and removed them. Then they pulled the phone from its foundation. Normally two grown men could easily lift the payphone, but for some reason this time the machine sent a jolt of electricity through both of their hands. The men dropped the payphone and it cracked.

"Shit! Shit! Shit!" Yelled Mac. "Why'd you drop it, Gerry?"

Gerry was still rubbing his blistering hands. "Because it shocked me, Mac! I don't see you still holding it!"

"Whatever. Just help me pick it up. Maybe we can salvage it."

They couldn't. But Mac decided to take the broken phone back home with him. He figured that if he could fix it then he could convince someone to try it out. He worked on it for many years until finally, he fixed it.

The payphone rang and Mac snatched the phone off the receiver so fast that the whole top shook and he had to steady it to prevent it from breaking again.

"Hello, this is Mac."

The voice on the other line was his own, but slightly different. He sounded older and somehow more tired than he was in reality.

"Hello, Mac. It's Mac. Has it been worth it?"

"Beg your pardon?"

"Has tinkering on this box of bolts been worth it? Did you obtain the riches it promised?Did you listen to the message we gave you last time?"

The real Mac's grip around the phone tightened. "No. I haven't gotten to the riches I was promised, and yes. I listened."

"That's not what I meant, Mac. Did you learn to lean on others, or have you continued to try and do it all alone?"

The real Mac grumbled. "Everyone just wants something for themselves. If I want to make it, I gotta worry about me."

"That is a sad life to live. How's Gerry and Min?"

"Gerry's married with two kids. I don't know about Min. She left me."

"And is Gerry happy? I'm sorry about Min."

Mac shrugged. "Most of the time, but life always has a way of taking joy back. Like when you kept my million dollars."

The other Mac laughed. "The only person taking joy away from you is you. Yes. Life can be unfair, and hard, but it can also be beautiful and fulfilling. Lean on others Mac. You aren't going to get anywhere tinkering on an outdated machine in your basement. Call Min. maybe you can save your relationship."

The line cut and the payphone caught fire. Mac quickly sprayed it with a fire extinguisher and grumbled as he picked up his drill. "What do I know anyway?"