The Last 60 Seconds

Sweat beads on my forehead and trickles down the back of my neck…

as my tongue sticks to the roof of my mouth…

the glare of bright light blinds me momentarily …

legs astride, cramping a bit, knees shaking slightly…

hands grasping cold metal on either side of me…

"Breathe", a voice intones behind me encouragingly...

"Relax, you got this….won't be long now"…

6….10…12 the numbers are periodically announced.

Almost time, almost there…

My body's on fire, cramping, contracting, tensed for action…

What if I poop?

It's natural and happens sometimes I've heard.

Dear god, don't let me poop!

Waves of anxiety flood through me…

My partner standing by quietly

concern clouding his eyes,

arms hanging listlessly at his side

not knowing what to say ,

as he signals me a hesitant thumbs up.

I respond with a smile, belying my own nervousness

sending him a silent message--"I'm ok, doing great! "

And then the moment I've been anticipating …

After all the instruction .. the videos,

I know the drill…I know the procedure…

But those were other people…..

This is real-- and IT'S HAPPENING TO ME!!

Happening so fast…

after all the training , relaxing techniques

It's all come down to this.

Nausea and anxiety mingle with excitement…

There's no going back now…

"It's ok to yell," they say…

"It'll force you to take a breath".

Am I ready for this? Is my body ready?

Is it time? Now?

"Not quite there yet", a soothing voice advises.

And then finally-- "Deep breath now, and 1…2…3…"

I PUSH!!!

A gasp and a cry--almost an "airgasm" …

as I propel myself out through the opening of the aircraft

with a whoosh to free-fall…

spread-eagled, soaring like a bird,

plummeting to earth, fast approaching me from below.

No thoughts of danger, no feeling of falling…

Am I really plummeting…or just suspended in mid air,

floating on an unseen wave buoying me up while wind flattens my face and roars past my ears.

The tug of the deploying chute startles me as it catches the wind

and jerks me higher momentarily

until it settles to float me gently down to earth as we quietly sway in the wind.

Enraptured by the beauty of sky and earth, breathing in pure, clean air, I spread out my arms to embrace it all,

feeling nothing but freedom, pure bliss, and peace…

and in the depths of my soul, a longing emerges

to just remain suspended and captured by the sky,

far above the bonds of earth.

This must be what heaven feels like…

So fast, far too fast.. the freefall, the parachute glide and I'm back on "terra firma", looking up at the sky--did I really come down from those great heights?

The dive is over, but the euphoria remains…

and the sky beckons me back…

I did it! A long-awaited dream fulfilled!

Were the 60 seconds of sheer terror before that final leap worth it?

You bet they were!

***

If you thought that the first part was about giving birth, you'd be right. I wrote it that way purposely when I realized that the emotions and trepidation might be similar for first-timers. But which experience is the most dangerous? Surprisingly, it's giving birth according to statistics from the U.S. National Institute of Health.

In 2021, out of approximately 3.57 million jumps, there were 10 fatalities according to the United States Parachute Association, whereas the National Institute of Health reports for every 100,000 births in the United States, 28 women die. (2014)