The Irregulars

"There weren't always dragons in the Valley." Byron declares by gesturing with his smoldering copper pipe. His smooth, gravelly voice hushed the rowdy evening crowd. The stout, finely dressed Halfling drew the attention of the noisy tavern goers. Byron knew this was his chance to draw in even the most skeptical of patrons and travelers. With his trusty pipe in one hand and a mug of ale in the other, he rose to address the regulars of The Rusty Flute. Byron's rich chestnut-tinted eyes' widened with delight as he proclaimed, "Ladies and Gentlemen, you heard me right!"

A golden-haired, slender elf shouts from a dimly lit alcove, "Tell me, what a half-breed runt knows about dragons?" Arlen demanded, leaning back and sipping a horn-rimmed cup of mead.

Byron boasted, leaping on top of the nearest table. "Well, my friend, relax and enjoy a tale about a great wizard, mighty warrior, and fierce dragons!"

Arlen grunted, "I am all ears."

Stillness settled over the crowded tavern.

Bryon guzzled the rest of his ale and hurled the empty mug.

"Get down off the table," Vern Strickland Yelled. The Rusty Flute's proprietor.

An olive-skinned woman with green eyes and shining auburn hair looked up from her drink. "No, let's hear his fantastical account!"

Byron's gaze shifted and focused directly on Shangri in all her beauty.

Performing an acrobat maneuver from his perch upon the oak table, he landed squarely in front of Shangri. Their eyes locked, and Byron took and gently kissed her hand in a swift motion.

Arlen knew Byron was full of shit, knowing the actual truth about the origins of dragons came to be in the Valley.

He called out, "Byron, royal chambermaid, educate us about these dragons?"

Shangri smiled and giggled at Arlen's comment. Continuing to poke fun, she added, "Yes, Byron, royal chambermaid recounter of the legendary dragons in the Valley, educates us."

Byron sighed, holding his hand to silence the crowd. "What do I know about dragons! I will tell you."

A formidable battle-hardened dwarf wizard, Rufus waved his finger to silence the yammering bard.

"Ah, now I can drink in peace." Rufus proclaimed as the crowded tavern erupted in jubilation.

A colossal eerie-looking beast with iridescent red eyes emerged from the shadows as a tense mood gripped the once cheerful crowd.

Roduka spoke unwaveringly, "You can continue with your celebration. It's the royal chambermaid who I am looking for." He directed his interest toward the frantic, silently dancing bard.

This was not Byron's first brawl, and it wouldn't be his last. Byron knew tonight his past would rear its ugly truth about how the dragons infiltrated the Valley.

Roduka's copper tone skin and red beady eyes glistened in the dingy tavern's light.

"I finally caught up with you, Byron," Roduka said, grinning and wringing his hands in delight.

Vern, recognizing the situation, grabbed a gnarly curled goat's horn. He sighed, inhaled, and blew the horn. To Roduka's surprise, it didn't emit any audible sound, but the frequent regulars of The Rusty Flute knew what the horn signaled and hastily scattered for the exits.

"If you'll know what's good for you. Take your fight outside." Vern shouted, visibly agitated by Bryon's antics.

Roduka breathed in deeply and said, "Listen, old man. My quarrel does not involve you or your establishment; it only lies with Byron. He has something that belongs to me." He shifted his weight, anticipating Byron's next move.

Vern, the grey-bearded shopkeeper, distracted Roduka; as he lost sight of Byron.

Thanks to Rufus's silence spell, Byron seizes an open opportunity to get away. Byron twists his trusty magic ring and turns invisible, avoiding another deadly encounter.

Shandri chuckled to herself, watching everything unfold, foolish bard thinking he could outwit me.

"Where did that furry runt go!" Roduka roared, shaking his clenched fist.

Byron thought he was so clever and scurried towards the closest cover. Confident he had dodged, another dimwitted bounty hunter settled in to wait it out.

"Well, that's great. Where did Byron go?" Arlen hollered as he approached Shangri.

All the regular patrons had vacated the tavern. Vern spoke up, frustrated with Byron's only profitable entertainment. "Leave and take your dispute somewhere else!"

Byron called out, "Sorry Vern, it's all good!" he groaned and realized Vern could not hear nor see him. Roduka rudely interrupted Byron's performance this evening. It was going to be one of his greatest. Byron did not think his adventures in tomb raiding would cause such uproar even though it was lucrative but not a viable, steady stream of income. It was short-sighted, and his gig at The Rusty Flute paid meagerly. It was at least a constant stream.

Shandri finished her drink and moved towards Vern. "Let me be of service."

Reaching for a bag of flour, she cut the bottom with an exceptionally crafted dagger. Tossing the contents, a cloud of white powder uncovered a crouching Byron.

"Why, thank you for your cooperation," Roduka said as he proceeded towards the powered covered bard.

"Wait a moment, my friend," Arlen said, brandishing an ornately crafted sword blocking Roduka's path.

"Hey, buddy, this is none of your business." Roduka snarled.

"My business is to protect, my friend." Arlen's eyes narrowed as his grip tightened.

With a flick of his ring finger, Rufus immobilized the bickering warriors. Rufus exclaim, "For all that is holy, can I not drink in peace!" Rising from his seat with a twitch of his eye, "What the fuck did you do, Byron?"

"Nothing, nothing at all, Rufus, I swear!" Byron yelled, his voice discernible.

"Bullshit Byron! Stop playing! Do you want me to reanimate these two so they can deal with you?"

"Well, I may have stolen an ancient dragon amulet from a statue and sold it to pay for some gambling debts," Byron said, awkwardly smiling.

Shandri groaned, "This is more than I bargained for today; Vern, I'll take my room, put it on my tab."

Rufus's face was a deep shade of red as he inched closer. "Byron, when you took the amulet, is this when the dragons appeared?"

Byron started down, his head titled low towards the floor.

"Hey! It's funny you mention that; Rufus, it seems like a strange coincidence." Byron stood with a look of bewilderment on his face.

Arlen and Roduka both rolled their eyes, affirming how Byron could be this absurd.

"Wait, pretty little lady," Rufus called out.

"Who are you calling, little? Why do y'all think I am a lady" Shandri said as she turned and, with expert precision, hurled several darts pinning Rufus to the table.

"Magnificent," but Rufus was behind her with a dagger at her throat.

Rufus, speaking rapidly, "Listen closely, Shandri. This idiot doesn't realize the fury he has unleashed on the Valley."

"We are the Valley's only hope of survival. We need to find the amulet and return it before the next full moon."

Vern griped, "Are you fucking kidding me, Byron? This one takes the cake. You guys are welcome to rest here for free if you keep my tavern safe."

Byron cheered with a shit-ass grin. "Thank you, Vern MAN,"

"Now, you two, you may have differences, but we need your combined steel if we are to stand a chance," Rufus said as he eased back from Shandri and moved towards the frozen pair of warriors.

Shandri moans, "Well, shit! There goes my vacation."

"Do you two think you can handle these terms?" He waved his fingers and winked his eye.

Both men blinked in agreement and acknowledged the gravity of their situation.

Both warriors looked at each other, then turned to Rufus

"What do we do now?"

"First we drink, another round for our newfound adventuring crew."

"What will they call us, Byron and the chambermaids?" Shandri said, giggling.

"No, how about The Irregulars," Arlen announced.

"I like it," Roduka toasted in an agreement.

"I can get a great deal on matching tunics," Byron said. I got a guy.

"No, Byron," everyone chimed in unison.

As the newly formed party convenes around a table to discuss their options, a shadowy figure silently approaches through the night sky.