The Heart Shaped Locket

The glow of the moonlight through the hole in the roof illuminates my hands just enough to see the faded pictures in the heart shaped locket I hold. The dust swirls in the beam of light, reminding me of the song “dust In the wind”. I chuckle at the irony of that truth to mask the pain I carry in my soul…sometimes you have to laugh to keep from crying...

It’s been too many lost days and nights to count since “the Event” happened. This apocalypse wasn’t like the Bible said. Well, not exactly. Still plenty of death. Plenty of loss. Plenty of pain. That part was right. No demons. No angels. No Savior to end the suffering. But I guess the Four Horseman made their appearance…

The virus mutated and became very efficient at spreading Itself through the air. It also became very efficient at killing its hosts. The pandemic took out most of the old and young and sick…

The vaccine they pushed was ineffective... except for the side effects. In the beginning it was promoted as a miracle cure and pushed by the government. They didn’t do enough research...

After 3 years, everyone who took it began bleeding out of their eyes and nose. Apparently, the vaccine injected itself into our RNA, then after 3 years, our RNA would unravel, and we the people, just melted from the insode out. That’s how I watched my parents and so many friends go..

The government invoked martial law and tried to relocate the people to the FEMA camps they had built in the decades before. The ones that relocated willingly were never heard from again. Seemed very reminiscent of a past humanity swore would never happen again...

If you resisted relocation…then, force was used. The survivors began resisting and our country turned Into a live version of Call of Duty. The only equalizer was most of the military unraveled too. They were the first ones to take the vaccine. I guess all they were was dust in the wind too…

During the battles the Infrastructure collapsed. Water stopped running. The 3 days of food in the grocery store went faster than the water. Most people weren’t prepared to provide for themselves. So, after the soldiers, there were the raiders…

I wanted to believe humanity wouldn’t act the way they did. I think the virus and vaccine eliminated most of the ones who wouldn’t. The ones who survived seemed to be the savages. I could tell you of the things I witnessed, but I’d rather not relive those nightmares when Im awake as well…

We all have had to do things we would rather not. I can say I never did anything I didn’t have to do… maybe that’s what the savages say too…they only did what they had to…but I can tell you most of what I saw didn’t have to happen. But they did. And I quit asking why long ago…

What a lot of people didn’t think about when it comes to end of things, is that when no one is there to sustain the things we built to help us, they end up hurting us. When nuclear plants went Into meltdown, I was fortunate enough to be In the right place.

The right place…that’s almost comical. There’s no such thing anymore. Along the road you would meet people heading to this place, or that, where things were good and people were rebuilding and working together…

There were a few refugee camps. But they never lasted long. The people would fight and struggle amongst themselves instead of working together. Petty difference like race or religion would often be used as a tool for targeted violence. The strong would overtake the weak.

But honestly, is that not what we have known since the beginning. Were we not always led to distrust that which is different from us? To stay divided so the few could rule over the many? To fear and hate one another so as not to cooperate for our mutual benefit…because that cooperation could be dangerous to those In power…

And so this is what we knew. This was our core beliefs and when the structure failed…so did we…because we are made to be competitive rather than collaborative. And we have stayed true to that training to our bitter end…

And I guess that’s why I am writing this. It’s been months now, on the road, without seeing another soul. I don’t know how many people have survived this far… I don’t know if there is a group somewhere rebuilding the world for a future that seems impossible. Maybe this is the end of the scourge of humanity on the earth… maybe Nature will reclaim itself and start over… maybe the human experiment failed and a new species will arise.

But as I sit here now and look at the pictures of those whom I loved the most fade away into mere ghosts of the Images that pushed me this far… I feel my hope and will to continue fade with them…It Is my heart I carry in this locket, and it seems, it’s come to the end of its time…

I am not so far gone to think it’s still not possible... The possibility that some of the best of us have made it through this hell we have created. And that spark of goodness will ignite the fires of a future that becomes the beacon In this darkness we dwell In now. And that the future will never forget how we got here with these mindsets of division and self-centeredness, and build a world where ALL people are cared for by one another Instead of seeing “others” as an enemy to defeat.

There has always been enough for us all to have more than we needed. But our minds and our hearts could not accept that Truth over the “truths” we were taught by our societies. All it ever took was the acceptance of that Truth and unity of the people to stand together in that…

So I am writing this last entry in my diary In hopes that one day, builders of that world may find my remains and my memories of the end days of this world. I hope they will take heed to the mistakes we made to bring us to this place. And they will remember…and not repeat our failures.

I have not found refuge in this world. But that does not mean It doesn’t exist. My pictures have faded too far to see the faces of those who gave me strength. And I am so tired now… so I have chosen to say goodbye to this world… I will not walk in it if the last of my heart has faded away and left me truly alone…

But I feel somewhere there is that spark. The Promethean flame that will burn bright In the darkness again. So I must write this to remind them, of the things that happened. So they never happen again. To remind them the way we believed, the way we lived, the way we were taught…it was not the Way…

We cannot be divided. We must know we are all are in this together. We must stand together and work together and that this world is what we make it. We were always the ones we were waiting for… it is always our choice, every moment of every day. We just chose wrong. And I want the Prometheans to choose right. To live in unity…because if we don’t live in unity, we will only end like this has ended now…suffering together.

It’s time for me to go now. The clouds are blocking the moonlight. The faces in locket are too faded to see. So now I will close my heart shaped locket and my eyes for good...