The Ghost in the Pond

The world had become a place of ice and snow.

In the whiteness, we were moles. Blind, desperate, and merely trying to survive. I was a youngling at the time, following in the footsteps of my family’s forefathers. There was a strange hope, a longing for normalcy, but I had never been normal. I could care less. It was always the same conversation, the same confused answers and the same distance as if I was not there.

I placed my palms against the thick sheet of ice above the frozen pond and stared at my reflection. It was always someone I could not recognize. They stared at me, yearning to be on the surface and they whispered to me. They whispered to join them.

The wind clawed at my face, tossing shards against my cheeks and my hands began to burn. I pulled away at the sound of the others and my skin peeled. They were watching me, judging me, always judging. I was never good enough. I was too quiet, too confused, too strange, too weak… The list of reasons I was subpar was never-ending, but they were wrong.

I had never been one for words and I didn’t want to be in the world of blinding light. I wanted to be in one of color, of warmth and I wanted to be me. The frozen pond crackled, and I looked at the creature below me. She smiled. Her appearance was ragged, but sweet.

Although, she was familiar, she always had an eeriness to her. It was like she knew something but wasn’t letting on. Everyone always told me that it was just my reflection, but really, I think she was otherworldly. She was a visitor. She was there to tell me something, to show me… She never spoke.

Who are you? What do you want?

She only smiled. We would match our hands; we mimicked each other and then we would part. I could see the bubbles beneath the surface every abrupt time. I knew she was there. She was not a figment. One night, while everyone slept, I decided to creep back to the pond.

I could see nothing, only my breath in puffs in front of my face. Each step made a loud crunch on the snow and considering it was glistening with starlight, the world was pitch black. Suddenly I slipped. I had managed to feel my way through the void and crashed down upon the pond, my face busted and bleeding upon the ice. The metallic smell burned my nostrils.

I let out a moan and growled, trying to lift myself, but failing each time and then there she was. She met me at the ice, bubbling and pursing her lips to the thick layer. She told me silently to follow, gesturing to me. She wanted me to follow her further into the center. Again, her smile met me.

Okay, I said and stumbled to my feet. I carefully staggered across the ice, clumsy as always. I made it to the center and a chill shot up my spine. A hole in the ice, a calm and dark water rippling and bubbling… It was darker than anything I had seen before, and the girl had vanished. I knelt and stretched my arm. I looked around and went even lower. My fingertips now grazed the water. It bubbled fiercely.

Suddenly, two clammy pale hands emerged from the abyss and grasped on to me. The pearlescent, veiny limbs were slimy but strong as I struggled against them. A moan echoed through the mist, the ice creaking under my feet as I slipped and slammed above. It shrieked and howled, its face now piercing through the water.

Its hair was stringy patches of red weeds, its flesh melted away from the hollows of its skull. The eyes were sunken and missing. I screamed. It echoed through the night sky, but I was quickly submerged. My entire body went crashing down beneath the surface, the icy water swallowed me whole. My body was shocked, I had to gasp from the ferocity of the cold bitterness.

I choked on the air, trying to catch my breath but instead I took large gulps of water. I tried to scream again, but all that came from my throat were gurgles and gasps as the creature dragged me further into the depths.

It was then when I realized something. I had always interpreted the life around me and things had always seemed out of place. An endless winter, a conversation I had had a million times. This was why I was never good enough, this was why the love I was shown was so little... I was no longer there.

I was the ghost in the pond. I was my reflection. The sincere, yet eerie smile... I secretly knew all along, but I didn't want to let go...

I floated.

I waited.

I died.

And I could now be me, forever. I would never have to be normal.