The Freedom I Found in Vienna

I put my head on the armrest of the sofa and sighed. It was the same tiring routine every day, with so much physical exhaustion to carry. I had recently moved to Vienna from a small village in Eastern Turkey. My husband and I had moved together because of his job at a construction company in Vienna. Vienna was a beautiful city, with a charming urban life and a mesmerizing blend of old and modern architecture along the Danube River. We weren’t well-off enough to rent an apartment in the central areas of the city, so we decided to live in a suburb that wasn’t too far from the city center. It wasn’t just a move from one place to another; it was a new beginning for me. I had been frustrated and desperate to escape my old life. Although some things had changed and my life had become a little easier, luck had never really been on my side since the day I was born. My husband had had an affair with my best friend back in our hometown. Everyone in our town knew about them except me, and when I finally found out, it shook my entire world. I decided to walk away from his life and end our relationship immediately, but I couldn’t, for several reasons. One major factor was my lack of education, which meant I wasn’t able to support myself financially. Relying on my siblings or parents wasn’t an option either, as I had left home after they disagreed with my decision to marry the man I loved. So, the only option I had at that time was to forgive my husband, tolerate the trauma, and live with it. It was neither an easy decision at the time nor easy to live with later. I could no longer trust the man I had once chosen to spend the rest of my life with. I didn’t recognize him anymore, and I didn’t want to waste any more time with him, but life goes on.

Then, one day, he received a transfer letter from his company stating that he would be relocated to Vienna the following month. That letter gave me hope—a hope to start a new life, a hope to forget the trauma of the past, and a hope to get away from all those old memories. Initially, after moving to Vienna, everything seemed perfectly fine. But after some time, I discovered that my husband was still in contact with the woman I used to call my best friend. I was shattered once again, but this time I wasn’t the same woman. Forgiveness was no longer an option I was willing to consider. Maybe moving to Vienna had changed my life in a positive way. I realized that, this time, I could at least earn enough to support myself. I started working as a kitchen helper at a Turkish restaurant in the city center. Days passed, and finally, I received my first salary. I cannot explain the joy I felt from earning my own money or how much confidence it gave me. That was when I realized that I wasn’t useless and that I could make my dreams come true without depending on anyone. That realization liberated me from the fear of losing a man who had betrayed me—a man on whom I had somehow depended for my survival. Without any delay, I filed for divorce at the district court near our residence. For the very first time in my life, I breathed as a free woman.

Although I had earned my freedom, it was never a guarantee of happiness. Life became somewhat difficult because I had to do every single thing by myself, without anyone’s support. I had to pay the rent, buy groceries, and pay for insurance. One job wasn’t enough to manage all these expenses, so I bought an electric bicycle and started working as a food-delivery rider in the evenings. Days and months passed, and I was lost somewhere in my busy life, but not once did I miss that man. Life had become physically more difficult for me. I followed the same tiring routine every day, managing two jobs and taking care of everything on my own. There were days when my body was exhausted, and there were moments when I wondered how long I could continue living this way. But mentally, I was free. I no longer had to live with the fear of betrayal or depend on someone who had already broken my trust. Every day was difficult, but every day also belonged to me.

Although I was tired, I felt blessed by the freedom that every human being deserves—the freedom to breathe independently, to choose the people you want in your life, and to do what you truly want to do. I had spent years believing that being alone meant being helpless, but Vienna taught me something different. Being alone could also mean being independent. I had lost a marriage, but I had gained the ability to stand on my own feet. I had lost the person I once thought I needed, but I had finally found the person I had neglected for so long: myself. Perhaps freedom does not always arrive in the form we expect. Sometimes it comes after heartbreak, uncertainty, long working days, and difficult choices. And sometimes, the life we are forced to build after losing someone turns out to be the life we should have chosen for ourselves all along.