The Forever Party

“Hey, Ralph, did you see that? I fell over, but I didn’t spill one drop of my beer. Guess I’m not that drunk after all.”

“Oh, you’re that drunk all right, Norton. You just can’t stand the thought of wasting a single drop of beer. At least you’re not puking your guts out on my floor like Amos over there. Man, I hope you plan on cleaning that disgusting mess up, Amos.”

“Stop complaining, Ralph. This floor is so nasty my feet stick to it every time I walk to get another beer. My barf improves its condition.”

“Ya, Ralph, I’m still lying on the floor because my back is stuck to it. Even after this pandemic is over, we won’t be able to leave because we’ll be stuck on this nasty damn floor. Speaking of leaving, I thought this quarantine was only going to last for a day or so. Don’t you think we should have heard something by now? Is your radio as messed up as this floor?”

“If you two don’t like the accommodations, you’re welcome to go back out into the germ-infested world. Nothing’s been broadcast so far, giving the all clear and I’m not sure I’d believe it even if an all clear is given. Just before we came down here, Alice said there had been a lot of conspiracies going around. Some rich bastards might have paid off someone in the government to give the all-clear because they want us to get sick and die. Then they can take over our property.”

“Damn, Ralph, you really are paranoid. If I were going to be suspicious about anyone, it would be about Alice and Norton’s wife, Trixie. When they locked us in here, they said it was for our own good and they’d be back soon. Well, that was over a year ago and they’re not back yet. Maybe she went to the moon on her own. I’m going to be sick again.”

“Don’t worry about it, Amos. Have another beer. It’s the one thing we never seem to run out of. Do you want another one, Norton?”

“Absolutely! I’ll drink it lying on the floor.”

'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''

363 words. Just a silly story inspired by a diorama in my doctor's office and a throwback to The Honeymooners.