The Fishbowl Effect

It started with a text.

Sabrina opened it, read it- and fled. Run.

Sometimes, running feels like escaping- darting through a world of possibilities, all better than what you're leaving behind.

Other times, it just makes you feel trapped.

Sabrina ran- flat-out, no reservations, her heels already pried off and clutched in one waving hand. The other gripped her purse, holding it steady to prevent it from banging against her body with each long stride. She ran, panting, heaving, pushing past strangers and leaving a trail of angry stares and shocked mutters in her wake.

“Ugh, watch it!”

“God- so rude…”

She didn’t look back.

She barreled around a wide corner, pushing off a telephone pole with her heel-toting hand. Faster. On this particular city block, the world offered Sabrina two choices.

The street stretched on, busy with cars, people, shops. She could keep running down, away.

Or…she looked across the street, running blind, trying to blink away tears. A large, impressive-looking building swam into focus, beckoning her with its giant blacked-out windows, trailing ocean-blue banners, and uncrowded path to the doors. Car horns blared as she darted across the street, ignoring the sharp jabs of pain as pebbles and debris cut into her bare feet.

Just as she reached the wide steps leading up to the entrance of the building, she heard it- a faded shout, bellowed from across the busy street and over the jumbled din of a hundred other voices. “SABRINA!”

Don’t look back.

She didn’t- instead, she pushed on, and plunged into the dark.

~

‘Welcome to the AQUARIUM.’

A huge, dark blue banner with bold silver lettering stretched above the wide lobby, casting a cool glow over the room. The lobby was dimly lit and filled with the soothing hum of quiet voices.

Sabrina was still running- she forced her sprint to drop into a cautious jog, throat tight at the thought of turnstiles and security guards. However, with a quick glance around the room, she found it free of them. The lobby was mostly empty, primarily gray and overwhelmingly muted- more like the lobby of a bank rather than that of a middle-school field trip destination.

At the center of the room, a kind-looking woman worked behind an admissions desk, talking gently with an elderly man at the front of the queue. Behind him, a trail of quiet visitors waited patiently.

For an instant, she considered getting in line at the back of the queue. The thought sickened her. Instead, Sabrina half-walked, half ran past the desk, keeping her eyes down.

“Excuse me- ma’am, you’ll need to register before you head in.”

She bolted, her legs thrusting her forward again- around the desk, towards the far wall broken up by three shadowy archways. No signs indicating where they led- no thought to what she’d do next.

“Ma’am! You won't get the full experience if you don’t register!"

She kept going, slipping down the far-left archway and disappearing into the shadows. Normally, the thought of acting this way in a public place would horrify her- but now, the thoughtless disobedience gave her a strange thrill. The world wasn’t so out of control, now was it?

The idea of unrushed ambling, dark hallways, and luminescent jellyfish gave her a soothing feeling. She just wanted to disappear, for a while.

~

Except, there were no jellyfish- or clownfish, or catfish, or any fish, for that matter.

She walked down hall after empty hall, drifting between exhibits in a perplexed haze, heels swinging in hand. The massive aquariums were all dark- no lights disturbed the inky waters, and no fish did either. The tanks didn’t even have habitats within- they were just empty boxes, filled with darkness and rippling water.

There still weren’t any signs, either- no placards, no maps, no glowing exit lights.

It was definitely strange. But, Sabrina wasn’t running anymore- wasn’t thinking about the world outside. She let herself drift.

Bzzzz. From deep within her coat pocket, her phone vibrated loudly. Bzzzz, bzzzz, bzzzz.

She turned another shadowy corner, and then- finally, from down the end of the corridor, a flash of color caught her eye. Sabrina sped up, following the light- it was a lit aquarium, a vivid blue wall of water speckled with dozens of vibrant, angular creatures.

Sabrina padded up to the tank, leaning against the cool glass. The fish inside swayed up and down, bobbing like buoys on the ocean. They gave her an odd feeling- empty and flat, like the bright crayon colors of their scales.

She leaned forward, almost pressing her nose against the glass. The fish stared at her with blank, button eyes.

“The fuck?”

She glanced around, trying to find a person near her. This exhibit hall, like so many others, was silent. As she looked back at the fish, a flash of movement caught her eye- on the other side of the tank, something was moving.

Sabrina hurried off, slipping down a small doorway near the end of the tank. It led to the other side, as she’d hoped- and there, in the shadows, a man in a janitor’s uniform was slowly shuffling away.

She ran to catch him. “Hey! Excuse me-”

The janitor turned. His face was heavily lined, and he smiled warmly at her.

“Can I help you, dear?"

Sabrina nodded, glancing up at the tank beside them. “Yeah, uh… the fish. They’re plastic.”

The old man smiled wider, nodding. “Yes, yes. So sorry about that.”

She stared. “They’re fake,” she emphasized, eyes wide. “Why? And where are all the real fish?"

The janitor was already mumbling on. “Yes, you know, we used to have real fish here,” he said, still nodding. “They were quite nice. But they got rid of them, a few years back. Too difficult to feed, apparently.”

“But- but this is an aquarium. Aquariums have fish.”

The man smiled vacantly. “Yes, that’s right. No fish here.”

~

Sabrina decided that it was time to leave.

She marched back the way she’d came, hurrying to get away from the senile old janitor. No fish. What was going on with this place?

She turned in a circle when she reached one particularly wide exhibit hall, its dark corners unfamiliar. Had she been here before?

Bzzzz, bzzzz, bzzzz.

All this time and she’d still not seen a single exit sign. That had to be a fire hazard. The unmarked walls and monotonous dark water was starting to make her feel claustrophobic.

Except…

Sabrina walked up to one of the massive black sheets of glass. Unlit and empty, just like the rest of them. Except, this one…wasn’t.

She strained her eyes, pressing her nose against the glass. There were shapes in there.

Slender, boxy, deliberate shapes hid in the dark water. She almost couldn’t make them out- she hadn’t realized just how opaque these aquariums got without the backlighting. She’d been walking past dozens and dozens of these without thinking to take a closer look.

On the other side of the glass, sitting a few feet back from the pane, was an upholstered chair.

Sabrina could see the delicate curve of the chair’s wooden legs, the silhouette of the carved back. The fabric of the seat was patterned, she could tell, but it was too dark to make out the color. Next to the chair, she realized, was the tall shadow of a floor lamp; behind it, a small round table, and next to that… a potted plant, whose fern-like leaves swayed with the rippling water.

It was as if someone had taken half their living room and dumped it into a fish tank.

Sabrina found herself stepping back, her hand clamped over her mouth. The scene made her feel ill.

She moved on to the next tank, peering carefully through the glass. Hard lines jumped out at her now- a table, chairs, a stove and a fridge. The door of the fridge was speckled with tiny objects- magnets, she realized, holding up a collection of paper squares. Maybe pictures, maybe lists or reminders- the water had corrupted them, turning them gray and fragile.

In the next tank, she found a bedroom, with a twin-sized bed made with a giant patterned quilt. All along the bottom of the tank, clunky objects were strewn- toys, she thought. Next was a living room, plush couches pushed almost completely into the dark. Next, a hospital room- she could tell by the spindly IV pole and the dead, once-flashing monitors surrounding the bed.

Bzzzz, bzzzz, bzzzz.

She thought about getting out her phone, taking a picture- but she didn’t want to look at it. She let the buzzing die off again, wandering down another hallway.

At the end of it, she found something new.

Yet another wall of dark water was interrupted by a single well-lit pane, like a display case at the mall. The water within was a light, diluted blue; intense white lights shone down from each of the four corners of the tank, top and bottom. Inside was another bedroom scene, but the furniture wasn’t lost in murky darkness here- the bright lights turned the scene sharp and pristine, like a movie set. The colorful shag rug on the floor danced like a bed of seaweed, and on a dresser pushed against one wall, several tiny containers of makeup were bleeding clouds of color into the water.

In front of the aquarium, there was a bench, and upon the bench sat a woman.

Sabrina heard the woman’s cries before she noticed her. She was staring at the bedroom scene, amazed, when a rasping sob disturbed the quiet. The woman on the bench shuddered, head bowed and shoulders hunched.

For an instant, Sabrina thought about leaving- turning back the way she’d come, slinking off into the shadows. Bzzzz, bzzzz, bzzzz. She shook her head, heart hammering, and slowly approached the lit tank.

“Um… excuse me?”

The woman rocked forward, face buried in her hands.

“Uh…hey, are you- are you okay?”

No response. Sabrina inched closer, reaching a tentative hand towards the woman. She tapped her fingers lightly on the woman’s shoulder, the slightest contact- and the woman flinched, looking up with wide, red eyes.

“I’m so sorry,” Sabrina gasped, stepping back. “I’m sorry, I just…are you okay? I’m sorry to bother you.”

The woman shook her head slowly, mouth gaping at Sabrina. “Who…who are you?”

“No one, I’m just- just wandering around in here.” Sabrina felt her eyebrows pinch as she examined the woman. Disheveled hair, wrinkled clothes, and a tear-stained tissue clutched in one hand. “Sorry. My name’s Sabrina. Do you… need anything?”

The woman slowly turned away from her, eyes drifting up to the aquarium. Instantly, they welled up with fresh tears. “I’m just talking to my daughter,” she rasped, sniffing. “She gets lonely.”

Sabrina looked around slowly, frowning. “Your…daughter?”

Sniff. “Jessica,” said the woman proudly, the ghost of a smile on her face. She nodded at the tank in front of her, eyes locked on the empty blue space. “Isn’t she beautiful?”

“Um. Sorry, who…?”

“My daughter,” stressed the woman, lip quivering. “Look at her. She’s so sweet.”

There was a sinking feeling seeping its way down Sabrina’s chest. “There’s nobody…in there,” she said haltingly, glancing at the tank. “It’s just- a weird art exhibit, or something.”

The woman tore her eyes away from the tank, scowling. “It’s my daughter,” she snapped, eyes bulging. “What are you saying? What are you doing here? Just leave me alone!”

Shit. “Okay, okay- I’m sorry, I just-”

“Excuse me, ma’am!”

A sharp voice cut across Sabrina’s stuttering. She spun around, gasping, as a tall man in a crisp suit strode up out of the dark.

“Apologies, Olivia, dear,” the man said to the crying woman, patting her gently on the back. She blew her nose noisily into her napkin, hunching forward. “We’ll leave you alone.”

The man turned to Sabrina, smiling, and took her arm, pulling her out of earshot of the woman. Sabrina shook him off after a few steps, glaring.

“Um- who are you?”

The man looked her up and down, eyes flitting past her hand-held heels and bare feet. “I’m Martin,” he said with a flourish. “The Director of the Aquarium.”

“You’re the director?” She scoffed, shaking her head. “Well, I’m…confused. With whatever you’re trying to do here.”

Martin nodded understandingly. “It can be overwhelming, yes.”

Sabrina looked over her shoulder at the crying woman. “I was just trying to help,” she explained. “...I think she’s hallucinating. She thinks there’s someone in the water.”

Martin cocked his head at her, his smile fading for the first time. “Oh,” he said, surprised. “You… haven’t registered, have you?”

“No, and I don’t plan on it. Which way to the exit?”

He sighed. “You shouldn’t leave until you see your exhibit. You really should’ve spoken with Admissions.”

She gritted her teeth. “Yeah, sorry, I was in a rush. I just need to leave now.” From within her pocket, her phone started vibrating again. Bzzzz, bzzzz, bzzzz.

Martin gazed at her as she ignored it. “Was it recent?”

“Sorry?”

He shook his head, reaching into his pants pocket. “Where’d I put…” After a few seconds’ rummaging, he pulled out a small silver vial with a flourish. “Aha! This’ll help.”

He handed her a small slip of paper. “Read that,” he said, fiddling with the vial. Sabrina stared at him dubiously. “Go on!”

With a sigh, Sabrina looked down at the paper in her hand. It opened with a tug, revealing a line of words in a fancy script. Amor Quamtotius, Utrum Amore sive Recordatio, et Ignosce Umbram Mortis. “I don’t know Latin,” she started to say- and then she felt it.

A cold, wet something, sharp against her temple. She flinched away, gasping, just as Martin was pulling his hand away from her head. She clapped a hand to her forehead, feeling something sticky.

“What the fuck- what are you doing?”

He held up his hands. “Don’t be alarmed, it’s perfectly safe.” He pointed with one of his raised hands, nodding his head to something behind her. “Look.”

Sabrina wiped frantically at her temple. “What the hell-” She looked around, seething, about to take off again-

And then she froze.

Across the room, the lit-up aquarium had changed. The woman was still crying before it- but inside, new colors and shapes swirled and rippled under the water. Fluttering fabrics and long, trailing brown hair. It was a little girl.

She sat on the floor of the tank, legs crossed. One elbow was propped against her knee, and her chin rested in her hand. Her clothes were bright and colorful. Her skin pale, glistening.

“Oh my God.” Her mind went blank. “How the fuck- how did she get in there?!”

“It’s alright.” Martin’s voice was calm.

“No it’s not, oh my God-”

His hand snatched her wrist, gripping it tight. Sabrina stared at him, heart pounding. “That’s Jessica,” said Martin gently. “She died two months ago.”

From across the room, the woman still sitting in front of the aquarium let out a fresh sob. She rocked back and forth on her bench, and inside the aquarium, the little girl seemed to sigh.

“Olivia comes every day. It’s been hard for her. But, she’s strong. She’ll stop coming, soon.”

Sabrina's throat was uncomfortably dry. “That’s…impossible.”

“It can be a shock. I could explain it to you, if that’d help, but…it usually doesn’t.”

She couldn’t stop staring at the girl. “...I don’t understand,” she breathed. A chill went through her. “Did you drug me?”

He chuckled softly. “Not just anyone can walk in here.” Pause. “I’m sorry for your loss.”

She turned so sharply that her neck cramped. “What?”

“You’ll feel better, after you see her. And if not, you can come back until you do.”

“What are you talking about?"

Martin extended an elbow to her, offering an escort. “Let’s go see Becka.”

~

She resisted, at first, but then she saw her exhibit.

After endless halls of dark water, the first lit tank jumped out at her. A bedroom- her own bedroom, she realized. Next was the family living room. The kitchen. Becka’s room. Becka’s hospital room. All lit up, colorful and waterlogged and strangely nostalgic. Martin said it was all out of order- not the full experience that she would’ve gotten, if she’d registered.

They halted in front of a wide, towering aquarium that contained a treehouse.

The tree’s leaves swayed in the water, creating a pattern of rippling shadows on the glass. A ladder was fastened to the trunk, and up amongst the branches was a plywood cube with cutout windows and doors.

At the base of the ladder stood Sabrina’s sister.

Becka had her arms folded over her stomach. Her hair fanned out behind her- Sabrina had forgotten how beautiful Becka’s hair had been, before they’d shaved it off. She wore jeans and her favorite T-shirt, a change from the drab hospital gowns.

Sabrina felt the tears rolling down her cheeks again. They stung. “I thought it'd go away,” she whispered. Martin hummed sadly. “I thought…”

She walked up to the glass, pressing a trembling hand against it. On the other side, Becka drifted forward. Her pearly hand mirrored Sabrina’s- just a thin pane separating them.

“I was going on a date,” said Sabrina. “It’s been so long. We’re always at the hospital… I just wanted a break.”

“You didn’t know.”

A sob crept up her throat. “I missed her.”

“It’s not your fault. You can still say goodbye.”

Bzzzz, bzzzz, bzzzz.

Martin eyed her coat pocket. “You should get that.”

She nodded, numb. Bzzzz. She reached down, tugging the phone out. The screen was lit up with a call. Mom.

Her thumb tapped the green button. “Hey. Hi- yeah, I know, I’m sorry.”

Sabrina felt the words drop into her stomach, cold and heavy and true.

She’s gone. About an hour ago.

“I know.”

On the other side of the glass, Becka smiled.