The End of the Road

We drove up the snowy, winding road towards the cozy A-frame cabin. I'm a sucker for nature so, all the white trees were making my heart smile. Normally, it'd be enough to take my mind off any worries, troubles, or intrusive thoughts I had. But this time around things were different. Its stillness didn't translate as well as it normally did. Each glance outside of the car window seemed to get shorter and shorter as the flashbacks of us grew longer.

It was as if, I had a mini-projecter in the back of my mind and a film was playing out right before my eyes. Just for me. And not just any old film but the type of film that just resonates with your entire being. One that gets inside of you and just touches every part of you. One that speaks to you. Directly to your heart, to your soul and just ignites your joy, your sadness, and you will to live and to do it unapologetically! Reminding you of the intensity of life and all of its beauty.

There were scenes overlapping right before my eyes. Playing out as if I were still there with you. One hand on the cusp of my breast. Our thighs intertwined. Your lips on mine. Moist, sticky, skin to skin contact. Your hot breath gracing my ear with the scent of my sweet nectar lingering on those beautiful and soft pouty lips. The continuous lick you placed on my ear from the bottom of my lobe. To the tip where my bar piercing was fresh, and shouldn't be fondled with, but received no attention because I was too busy focused on you. On us.

The music in the car brought me too.

"Thinking Intermission" by Dom Kennedy played in the background as you went on and on about how you were so glad we were doing this because we needed something to bring back the excitement in our relationship. Something to put the "mmph" back into our "meh". And you were right. We needed something because things were completely fucked as of late. Both being fully aware of what we needed, and knowing it wasn't this.

I had no patience for you anymore. Honestly, I had no energy for you in totality. I had completely checked out of our relationship some time ago and the only thing keeping me was the memories. All the time spent, all the good things we'd created, together. Hell even that was short lived because when I came back to reality, back to the present moment there you were. And that, that just wasn't enough anymore.

You were playing this song specifically because you wanted to know, what it was that I was thinking. Not enough to ask but enough to throw subliminal messages and pray that I'd catch on. I did. But if you knew, what it was I was thinking, you'd jump head first out of the moving 2023 Kia Sorento and end it all.

Pulling into the snow covered driveway I breathed a sigh of relief. We'd finally made it to the beautiful cabin you'd been talking my ears off about during the day's travel it took to get there and I couldn't have been more relieved. You looked over to me and to prevent having to communicate with you, I just closed my eyes. You said something about getting the bags from the car and taking them inside as I sat there motionless. Annoyed, lacking any optimism whatsoever, I drug myself from the car like a snail leaving a trail of footprints behind me.

Stepping inside the cabin was like taking a step into a different time. The vibe of the place was very rustic, with a touch of modernity from the appliances and very abstract art that covered the walls. Immediately, I was drawn to this mini sculpture of a woman, thin in shape, yet very toned. She was arched backward on her knees, hair hanging down. She looked so, free. So satisfied and relaxed. So at ease. Then the feeling returned.

The feeling I get when I'm with you. Chills rushed over my entire body as I thought of how perfectly erect her nipples were and how you'd gently suck mine, oh so delicately when they were at attention for you.

So zoned out thinking of you, I hadn't even noticed Mi'kel walk up behind me. Holding two champagne glasses filled with my favorite wine, Moscato D'asti. He smiled as he placed the glass in my hand. Running his finger across the top of my back he told me how beautiful I was. I smiled. Turning away to head to the shower he grabbed my waist and held me there. He proceeded to lick and suck on my neck and as I took a sip of my wine and rolled my eyes. I took a step forward in hopes of being released the hold he had on me. He didn't budge.

"Just, let me please you." He pleaded.

I could hear the desperation in his voice. The need to feel me. The need to feel my love and affection in anyway possible because he knew just like I did. That this, we, were over.

So, I topped off my glass of wine and tapped the empty glass, signaling Mi'kel for a refill. As he walked over to grab the Ceretto, I unbottoned my blouse and watched him. Thinking of all the good, and bad times we had. He felt me watching and turned around to me with a remote in one hand and the bottle of wine in the other. Walking back to me he turned on a dim light and some slow jams. My favorite. Placing the remote next to me, he kissed my shoulder and refilled my glass. I gently allowed my head to fall back as I thought of how this would be. How it would all play out.

He stepped away from me and commanded me to look at him. I did. He slowly began to take off his black turtleneck sweater that fit his perfectly sculpted body like a glove. The gym had been very good to him over the years. He was stunning. I began to pull my skirt down and he stopped me with the wave of a hand. Signaling me to not move another muscle.

He knows I love to be pampered. Tended too delicately and gently so he was letting me know to release, and let go of my need to control. To relax and enjoy the show that was crafted special, just for me.

The fire place was crackling in the background as Donnell Jones cooed to us in the background. He was down to his boxer briefs now, looking heavenly as he finished his glass of wine looking me right into my eyes. He walked over to me, tilted my head backward and began to pour the wine into my mouth until it overflowed onto my beautiful brown skin. Trailing it with his tongue until he was down on he's knees right in from of me. He looked up into my eyes as he pulled down my brown leather skirt and said "I'll always love you."

The next morning I woke up alone. Looking out of the large floor to ceiling windows of the cabin my feelings matched my surroundings. Cold. He was gone. I didn't have to look around or inspect anything to know. I could feel it in my bones. I never thought it'd feel like this, so bad. Yet, I was glad it was over.