The Empty Toilet Paper Roll

Bev opened an eye and closed it.

A few minutes later, she tried again with the enthusiasm of a woman who had slept badly and blamed everyone but herself.

She dragged her feet to the en suite, sat down, and immediately froze.

The roll was empty, and the toilet paper lay on the floor in a strange, neat little pile. It was folded as if it had magically floated off the roll.

“Ross!” she yelled.

From the bedroom came a groan.

“What now?”

“Why did you do this?”

“Do what?”

“The toilet paper! Why would you make this mess?”

“I didn't touch it,” Ross called back.

“Idiot,” she muttered, loud enough for him to hear.

And so began the daily ritual.

Lately, in the mornings, Bev discovered the same thing: an empty toilet paper roll with its paper folded on the floor.

Ross denied everything, Bev called him names, and Ross called her dramatic.

Neither trusted the other, and neither could explain the bizarre neatness of the mess.

The tension in the house was thick.

So one night, when Ross got up to use the washroom, Bev shot upright like a meerkat.

“Where are you going?”

“To the bathroom. Duh,” Ross answered, already annoyed.

She followed him out of distrust.

He lingered for the same reason.

They felt smug, convinced the mystery was solved.

It wasn't.

The next morning, the toilet paper was once again on the floor, folded neatly.

Bev and Ross stared at the mess.

Confused at first, they slowly shared the realization that neither of them was responsible for it.

Bev laughed at the silliness of it all, and Ross joined in.

“This is ridiculous,” Bev said.

“For sure. Very odd,” Ross replied.

To solve the mystery, they devised a plan.

That night, huddled around the laptop like detectives, they watched the show.

The footage began.

The bathroom sat still and quiet.

Nothing happened.

Then something did.

A tiny mouse entered the camera frame, pausing at the toilet paper.

With a quick sniff of the area, it tested the direction of the paper and then, with determination, it ran.

The roll spun, and the paper flew.

The mouse was like a little tornado and didn't stop running until the entire roll lay in tidy folds.

Bev gasped.

Ross wheezed.

Then they both collapsed into laughter.

Weeks of marital suspicion were undone by a mouse with a cardio routine.

They set a live trap, hoping to catch and relocate the mischievous mouse.

The following morning, there he was in the trap, annoyed that his nightly routine had been so rudely interrupted.

Leaves, dryer lint, and toilet paper were gathered as an offering to the rodent in hopes he would like his new home.

They released him, along with his new nesting materials, in the old shed at the back of their property.

Bev and Ross enjoyed a peaceful evening together, convinced they'd solved their case.

The next morning, they wandered into the bathroom and stared.

The toilet paper roll was empty.

The paper was on the floor.

Folded.

All Bev and Ross could do was stare.

“Did we catch the wrong mouse?” Bev whispered.

Ross sighed.

“Put the kettle on.”

They both started laughing all over again as they discussed the night's events.

The little mouse watched the two humans from his hiding place.

Seeing them laugh again made his tiny heart swell.

Satisfied with a job well done, he scampered home like the cat who ate the canary.

“Honey, I'm home,” he called, loud enough for Rosie to hear in the next room of their lodgings.

“Herbert! How did you make out? Did it work?” Rosie asked, paws clasped in worry.

“We did it, Rosie. We did it!”

Herbert puffed up proudly.

He grabbed a morsel of food and launched into his tale.

“I went straight to the toilet paper. I didn't fall for the peanut-butter this time. You can fool me once...”

“You've been caught in their trap three times,” Rosie reminded him gently.

Herbert huffed.

“Irrelevant. As I was saying, I finished my work and then hid so I could watch them in the morning. And Rosie, when they saw the mess, they laughed. Really laughed. It was nice seeing them happy again. They seemed sad for too long.”

Rosie smiled, soft and warm.

“Well, sweetie, maybe we should keep things interesting for them. Just a little. Nothing dangerous.”

Herbert nodded, his eyes sparkling with mischief.

“Oh, I have ideas.”

And in their tiny, cozy home, the two mice curled up together, plotting little pranks that would brighten their humans' mornings.