The Easy Job
Sheets of bank paper float on drafts of air. Wind rushes from vacant spaces where glass panes used to be. Last images of a life lost. The bank manager's eyes stare at me from where he fell on the floor. His mouth moves slightly in desperate gasps for air, he won't get. A lake of red expands across marble tiles. All of his tomorrows are gone, and so are mine.
The ringing world inside my ears starts to subside. Other sounds begin to creep in. A chorus of whimpers, a baby screaming. The soundtrack to how my world will end. I hope my mom will know, I'm sorry. How many steps would it take to see Rosa, sitting in the van, one more time before they gun me down? My hourglass is almost empty. I check my gun again.
I hear their boots on the concrete outside, a stampede of Warthogs coming to root me out. Another flash bang. Their boots crunching on glass. It's time to go home, I stand. Butch and Sundance, goddammit. My gun raises, my finger pulls back. The barrel of my gun flashes. The air erupts with their own sound. Goodbye Rosa, I love you.
About the Creator
The Invisible Writer
"Writing is easy. All you have to do is cross out the wrong words."
~Mark Twain
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Well-structured & engaging content
Excellent storytelling
Original narrative & well developed characters
Compelling and original writing
Creative use of language & vocab
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Niche topic & fresh perspectives
On-point and relevant
Writing reflected the title & theme
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Zero grammar & spelling mistakes
Heartfelt and relatable
The story invoked strong personal emotions
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Comments (43)
Like WOW! Your masterful technique for story weaving, always engaging cadence, character development - make for a, yet again, compelling read most worthy of Top Story! So much revealed in a 1 minute read. Congratulations! Pauline 🌸
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Short and concise. Well structured too.
So good. Almost like poetry. Makes me jealous. ;)
I am so glad this got Top Story! Very well deserved, poetically written, great story 😁 My favourite line, "all of his tomorrows are gone, and so are mine".
Dammit...this gave me chills and stuff. This is so well written, Will. Just. breathtaking. Like so many people have said, you have done a blinding job of making the antagonist sympathetic. He's just a person. Chosen bad paths, going out in a blaze of bloodiness, but still has a person he loves, cherishes etc. Also loved the reference to Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid because that film always gets me in the feels. I shall not take up too much more space, but this is a thoroughly well deserved Top Story!
nice
Amazing work!!!
Yes! I thought I’d see this here! Congrats on a well deserved top story, Will! 💫
Wow, the narrative here is suited perfectly to the micro form. It seems like it could be a second installment of “Bullet in the Brain” by Tobias Wolff, one of my favorite flash fiction stories. You tell a whole world in just a couple hundred words, relying on the audience for the wider context but without needing to elaborate. Your chosen lines for characterization are essential here for an emotional center and a narrative momentum that I find masterfully achieved. (“How many steps would it take to see Rosa…?”) Great great work, I thoroughly enjoyed this one. And congrats! 🎈🎊
I see the movie, the plan, the arguments. The deed. Then the finale. Really a whole book in 200 words. A really well written microfiction. Congrats.
This is cool, love this. I love the self-awareness in contest with the die-hard commitment to the life he chose.
Nice
This is a wonderful story
Hooray! Top Story!!
Wow that was so evocative!! JBaz said in an other comment that this was a full novel in 200 words and wow I agree!!
A full novel in two hundred words Awesome
This is perfect! Great use of 200 words.
Will you did such an outstanding with filling in so much detail in just 200 words. Excellent job as always.
GREAT JOB !!! 💜
Wow! That was pretty intense!!! Great job and congrats!!!
Congratulations on a well deserved Top Story!!
Fantastic writing - really love 'my hourglass is almost empty'. Great stuff.
Will!!!!!! This was a great story! You rocked the hell out of this challenge!! I love the vivid imagery you were able to place in this story so seamlessly!! Your use of metaphor and narration in this story have me utterly blown away! You left me wanting more but in a good way!!! Also congratulations on Top Story!!! 🎉🎊🎉🎊🍾💞
Oooof. This is goood! Everything in it is torn or tearing and you can hear it all in the ringing of your ears.... brilliant work.