The Details

She looked up at the heavy clouds. They were dark and ever so full. The downpour was coming. Of that she had no doubt now. It looked kind of sad. Tears about to burst. That moment of crying before the flood comes, right after a heavy inhale and just before the damn breaks. That's what the sky looked like. Sad and somewhat dangerous. Ugh. She wiggled her freshly painted toes. Just a small act in defiance of the sky. The sun had felt so good only a little while ago. Now her toes were a bit naked against the new chill in the air. She felt a little bit betrayed by all of this. Then again, she knew she shouldn't have trusted it to stay nice. It never stays nice. Sandals probably weren't the best idea but something in her always made her try to squeeze the very last out of everything. One more day of sandals. It's never enough just to enjoy what was there and let it go, she had to find the absolute most she could. Take everything.

Her need to wear sandals, this many weeks past the end of summer, was just her all over. Just like school. Staying late, getting there early. Every after class activity, every sports team, everything she could do until she tasted every morsel of life. It's just the way some people are she thought to herself. You can't change direction this far into a journey so you may as well enjoy the path you're on. Still, it would be nice to relax. To find a bit of peace. To leave even just a spec of hardened egg on the spatula instead of obsessively washing it until her hands cramped up. What would it be like to not make sure every buckle was buckled a certain way, every hair in the right place, every door locked, ever light off? The freedom of not worrying or caring or obsessing. That's the key to her prison.

The bus was late. Well, it felt like it. Yeah, it felt late. She promised herself she wouldn't check her phone to see if it really was. That's all part of it. Checking. Obsessing. You're not doing yourself any favours by feeding that beast. Where was the stupid bus? That rain was coming for sure but if it timed right she could get where she had to be before the inevitable happened. What kind of a person goes out into the middle of Detroit in sandals with no umbrella two weeks into fall? Idiot.

The hiss of the air brakes snapped her back into the moment. Finally. How late was she now? She started to panic a little. The rain would be the least of her worries if this damn bus had taken any longer. She looked into her purse for the change. There it was, as she knew it would be. She checked her bus fare so often that to calm the panic of not seeing it even for a few seconds she'd sewn a special pocket into the lining of her bag. Just big enough for two fares. One there, one back. Nothing in that pocket to obscure the coins, nothing to obstruct her view. No panic.

The old lady was taking forever. JUST STEP UP ONTO THE BUS! I NEED TO GET ON THE BUS! She looked back at the change for comfort. Everything was where it needed to be. She stared into her purse. Nothing to worry about. Change, sunglasses, compact, gun and a picture of the target.

Change, sunglasses, compact, gun, picture. Change, sunglasses, compact, gun, picture. Change, sunglasses, compact, gun, picture. Change, sunglasses, compact, gun, picture....everything would be fine.