The Catch

“Gaw’Damn, that hurts!”

These were the first words I ever heard out of the mouth of a fish, and yes, I was just as shocked as one would expect. Sit… Listen… Let me tell you a story of a day of fate and a talking trout.

I love to fish. There has always been something special about sitting by the water, in the sun, holding the rod in your hands and meditating on the feel of the pull of the waves and the push of the wind… and when you feel that hit… that moment fills you with a rush every time. After a while, you collect a handful of days on the water that change the current of your life forever. Today was one of those days.

I was three trout deep and waiting for my fourth. I will never forget the moment when the single cloud crossed the sun and shaded the water. I felt the breeze, a small chill creeping in, and a little dance on the tip of my rod. I lowered the tip and reeled in the slack in my line. When the fish hit the bait, I hit back, setting the hook with a upward tug that was strong enough to secure the fight but gentle enough to avoid ripping the lip of my prey.

Fish on!

It was not a long fight. The fish flipped in the water, shaking his head back and forth as I held the rod high and reeled. There was nothing special about bringing it to shore, but once it got there, things got weird.

“Gaw’Damn, that hurts!” A voice said as I removed the hook from the bottom lip.

“WHAT THE FUCK!” I blurted in surprise as I dropped the fish to the ground.

“Ooooowwwww… Dude… gentle”

I couldn’t believe what was happening. I have heard many fisherman’s tales throughout my years, but never had anyone told a tale of a talking trout.

“Is this a joke,” I asked as I poked the banked fish in the ribs with my extended pointer finger. “Am… am I being pranked right now?”

“Nope.” it said in a flat tone. “No joke. No prank. Just a talking fish. oooOOOooooOoO… so scary.”

Then it laughed… The fish laughed… I was losing my damn mind.

“What are you?” I asked in disbelief. “I mean… you ARE a fish, right? Are you magic or something?”

“Yes. To all of it. I am a fish. Now. I was once a man. Magic bit me, and I am now cursed.”

Uncertain what to say, I just stared down… at the fish… at the talking fish. “I… huh…”

“Yeah”.... “So here’s the deal. I have been cursed to live behind the eyes of a fish, floating in the deepest recesses of its mind, given the ability to take control and taste only a moment of autonomy and a chance at my freedom. The catch… I must grant the man who sets me free one wish before I am returned to my natural form.”

“Does that mean that I get to have one wish granted?”

“Indeed it does,” He replied. “So what will it be? Do not languish over the choice for too long. I am drying out, and once I am returned to the water, I will recede back to the dark corner of the mind of this beast.”

I didn’t want to waste the wish, but I was not quite sold yet.

“What’s the catch?” I asked warily.

“My freedom. It’s simple. I grant a wish; you set me free.”

Simple enough, I thought.

“Okay” I said. “I have my wish. I wish to have a debit card that is linked to an account with unlimited funds that can never be declined or closed.”

“Done!” said the once man now fish thing.

At his word, I felt my chest tighten and my back begin to ache. The world grew larger and out of focus as my body twisted and turned, and I felt the shift of every bone as they broke and reformed inside of me.

When the torture stopped, a nightmare began. Before me stood a strange, naked man, stretching as if he had just risen from an eternal sleep. I wanted to scream. But all I could do was claw at the invisible wall holding me hostage behind a veil of silence. No longer myself, I was a hostage in the mind of another creature. Was this the darkness the fish had mentioned?

"I am sorry, my friend..." Said the strange man as he picked up a pile of clothes, my clothes, off of the bank in front of me. "... but I did what I had to. One day you will understand. "

He reached into my pocket and pulled out my dark leather wallet. He then pulled out a shimmery black card and held it out in front of himself.

"This really was a good wish. I will be certain to put it to use. Thank you for this. And for my freedom."

With that, he picked me up and walked me to the water. His release was gentle, and my host accepted this false freedom with eagerness and determination. All the while, I was floating in the abyss in the back of its simple mind. I believed that I would be there forever.

Until I found myself on the end of your line.

So, now you have heard my story. The way I see it, you have 3 options: you can throw me back and let this conundrum be the problem of the next angler to wet his line; you can end my suffering and have a meal you will never forget and a tale that will never be believed; or, you can think of the person whom you love most and make a wish that grant their deepest desires, fulfill their dreams. I have not deceived you as those who have come before me have done to those who followed. You know the catch. The choice is yours to make, the power in your hands. I ask you… What will you do?