The Cake is a Lie

The crisp, cool air of late autumn came in through the door as young Jimmy McMurphy walked into his grandfather's antique store in the small town of Lakewood, Virginia, with his friends Matthew and Byron.

"Why, look who it is, come to see his old grandpa!" said old Ollie McMurphy as he ruffled his young grandson's orange hair.

"Stop that, I'm not a kid anymore." Jimmy frowned. "Today's my birthday. I'm twelve now." he declared, putting his skinny arms to his hips.

"Ah, yes, a little man now, you are!" grandpa McMurphy chuckled as he ruffled Jimmy's hair again, much to his dismay.

During the endearing exchange between Jimmy and his grandfather, Matthew, a dusty-haired boy who was a bit large for his age, grabbed a few pieces of candy from the glass dish on the register counter. Byron, a caramel toned kid with a hi-top fade, made his way over to the old comic books. The store itself was a split-level building, half wood and half brick, with an "Antiques" sign over the door old enough to be called an antique itself. Inside the store was everything from floral-upholstered hand-carved furniture, ornate mirrors and paintings with unique wood frames, and rows of shelves with miscellaneous items. There was also an old hotdog roller grill and all the accompaniments for hotdogs, and a display case that often held slices of cake or pie, on a counter adjacent to the register counter, and many in the small town would claim the McMurphy's Antique store had the absolute best hotdogs around.

"Can we get some hotdogs, gramps?" Matthew asked as he stuffed the candy he had picked up in his mouth.

"Sure thing, Mattie boy." grinned grandpa McMurphy as he got down from his stool behind the register and walked over to the hotdog counter. Old Ollie McMurphy was slight and hunched in his old age, and now only shocks of orange ran through his head full of white hair.

They sat on the wooden benches just outside the store while they enjoyed their hotdogs, looking out across the cracked parking lot to where other townsfolk were frequenting the neighboring Waffle House, then to the bare trees beyond whose colorful leaves had fallen to decorate their concrete surroundings.

"So, how has school been for you boys lately?" old McMurphy asked between bites.

"I like the sloppy joes. And the beans and franks. And the square pizza!" Matthew said with a mouthful of hotdog.

"I hate it, except for Science because we talk about volcanoes and stuff." Byron said. "Oh, and Jim punched me in the nose while we were playing X-Men on the playground the other day."

"I told you that was an accident!" Jimmy said defensively. "You were supposed to dodge my punch, then Matthew, but Matthew punched at the same time!"

"I know..." Byron acquiesced. "But my nose still hurts."

"Oh my, well that is something! Do be careful, boys!" grandpa McMurphy said. "How has school been aside from that for you, Jimmy boy?"

"Well, there's this girl..." Jimmy started.

Matthew and Byron groaned in unison.

A cold breeze blew through the parking lot sending a shiver through the merry band as they finished their hotdogs.

"Okay, boys. Time to go inside and let the birthday boy pick out a present from the store!" old McMurphy grinned.

"Yay!" Jimmy said, hopping up from the bench and running for the door to go back inside.

"Can I have a piece of chocolate cake?" Matthew piped in.

"If he gets cake, could I have one comic book?" Byron asked.

"We'll see!" chuckled old McMurphy. "What do you think, birthday boy?"

"Well..." Jimmy crinkled his nose. "It's my birthday, but I suppose I can share."

Grandpa McMurphy could barely contain his laughter at the youthful response, his grin reaching his ears.

As they all re-entered the store, grandpa went to the hotdog counter and looked inside the dessert display.

"I'm sorry, Matthew." old McMurphy said, genuinely wanting to grant all of the boys' requests. "The misses didn't make any cake today, but perhaps a sugar cookie or oatmeal raisin?"

"Sugar cookie, I guess." Matthew said, disappointed.

"What part of the store can I pick something out from this year, grandpa?" Jimmy asked excitedly, oblivious to the plight of his friend.

"Why not look around, then bring the item you want to me and we will talk about whether your mother would allow you to have it or not?" chuckled his grandpa.

"Whoa! Anywhere in the store?" Jimmy asked.

"That's right young man! Anything, let's say, up to fifty dollars." grandpa scratched the whiskers on his chin and nodded.

"Wow, thanks grandpa!" Jimmy nearly squealed.

"You should get fifty dollars worth of comic books!" said Byron.

"Or chocolate cake, if they had any..." Matthew said.

Young Jimmy walked all around the store, poking at various items on shelves, looking at the old games. He picked up an old toy with cymbals that resembled one of the flying monkeys from The Wizard of Oz, then thought better of it and sat it back down. None of the old antiques seemed to pique his interest too much until his eyes settled on an old oil lamp. Thoughts of a cartoonish blue genie came to mind as he smiled and picked it up, rubbing it furiously. He frowned when nothing happened, then opened the top to look inside before trying to shake out any contents of the empty vessel.

"Stupid lamp..." Jimmy muttered as he plopped it haphazardly back on the shelf.

"Jimmy boy! You keep on looking and let me know what you want when I get out of the restroom." Old McMurphy called to his grandson. "You know us old folks, some things take a little while!"

Jimmy McMurphy looked all over the place. He went up to the split level, then back down again, but he just couldn't find something he really wanted, then he remembered the "special room".

He flipped on the light in the back room and looked around, seeing more shelves, more dusty old furniture and paintings. Frowning, he started to turn off the light and close the door when something shiny caught his eye. Walking into the back room, he moved various items from a shelf, revealing a sheathed sword with a large green gemstone in the hilt underneath.

"Whoa! So cool!" he exclaimed as he immediately unsheathed the sword and started swinging it around. "Look what I found you guys! I want this for my present!"

Matthew and Byron's eyes went wide when they saw the magnificent sword.

"I want a turn!" his friends shouted.

"In a minute! It's my birthday present!" Jimmy said, swinging the sword around and making "woosh!" sounds.

"Be careful you don't hit anyone." Byron said snidely.

"I won't! I know what I'm doing!" Jimmy said, just before he accidentally smacked the blade on the corner of some shelves.

And the blade snapped.

It snapped right at the hilt, the green jewel dropping to the floor and smashing into a million little pieces.

The boys just stood there, stunned at the terrible spectacle, and just as suddenly the lights in the back room began to flicker. A green smoke started to rise from the remnants of the jewel, rising up and filling the room as a wind came from nowhere, knocking poor Jimmy down and pushing his friends against the wall beside the door. A form took shape in the smoke, starting with two green glowing eyes, then the lights went out entirely.

When the lights in the back room flickered back on, a tall, bald, handsome man wearing what appeared to be an expensive tailored dark green suit and shined black gators was standing with burning eyes and a wide, white smile before them.

"Whoooo freeeeed meeeeee?" the strange man purred, though his lips seemed not to move.

A loud, squeaky sound emitted from Matthew, accompanied by the unpleasant smell that Jimmy and Byron could only assume was digested hotdogs.

"It wasn't me..." Matthew protested.

"Whoooo freeeeed meeeeee?" the strange man purred again.

Still very much in shock at the spectacle, young Jimmy raised a shaky hand as Byron and Matthew pointed at him.

"Th-thanks for selling me out..." Jimmy frowned, looking at his friends. "So glad you two have my back..."

Byron steeled himself, having the decency to feel some shame.

"Alright, well, I was lying before." Byron said, sticking out his chin. "It was me. I did it."

Matthew shuffled his feet and looked at the floor as his friends both glared at him, expecting him to share in the blame for their perceived transgression.

"Me too, I guess." Matthew said in as noncommittal manner as possible.

The stranger narrowed his burning eyes and put his hands together, bringing them up to his nose as he pondered the small, mortal beings before him.

"Then, it is deciiiideeeeddd." he purred. "You shall each... have one wisssshhhhh granttteeedddd."

"I was totally and completely a part of, um, breaking that thing and stuff." Matthew stated with complete certainty, and received a light elbow from Jimmy.

The being before them frowned and folded his arms, already growing impatient.

"Whoooooo isssss firsssssstttt?" he said.

"I can wish for anything in the world?" Jimmy asked. "Also, I'm first. Because it's my birthday. And my grandpa says I'm not a kid anymore."

"Whaaattt issss yourrrr wissssshhhhh?" purred the impatient stranger.

Young Jimmy stood there thinking for a moment when he looked at broken sword laying on the floor.

"Oh! Oh!" Young Jimmy exclaimed. "I want a sword just like that one!"

"Yourrrr wissssshhhh issss granteeeedddd."

Jimmy smiled expectantly and held his hands out. Nothing happened.

"What gives, weird guy? Where is my sword?"

"Notttt 'weird guy'" the stranger replied. "I... am... Djinnnnnnnn."

The lights flickered again as he raised his hands into the air and his eyes flashed red. Another sound and smell emitted from Matthew.

"The sword that lies before you is just the same as it is." the Djinn snapped at poor young Jimmy. "Yourrrrr wissssshhhh hassss beeeennnn grantttedddd, fooooolissshhhh mortalllll."

Jimmy thought about it for a second and cursed.

"That's cheating! You know what I meant!" Jimmy protested.

"SILENNCCCEEEEE!" roared the Djinn, causing poor young Jimmy to give up and stomp out of the back room in defeat.

"Youuuuuu." the Djinn pointed at Byron. "Whattttt isssss yourrrr wissshhhhh?"

Byron, after having witnessed Jimmy's failed wish, decided to think for a moment to make sure he got what he really wanted.

"I want... a box full of new comics!" Byron said, sure of himself.

The Djinn reached out a hand, emitting green smoke to the floor as the lights flickered, and soon a box appeared before Byron.

Byron smiled and reached down into the box and pulled out the comic book from the top. His smile disappeared quickly as he pulled out another, then another, and finally dumped out the entire box.

"They're all Barney the dinosaur comics!" unfortunate Byron groaned and kicked the box, then followed poor young Jimmy.

The Djinn cackled a wicked cackle as a smile returned to his face, reaching ear to ear.

"Nowwwww ittttt isssss yourrrrr turrrrnnnnnnn." he said to Matthew who was still very nervous and reluctant to be there on his own.

"Ch-chocolate cake is all I wanted when I came into the store today." Matthew shuffled his feet.

The Djinn followed the same steps as before, reaching out his hand to produce an item from his magical green smoke.

Matthew's eyes lit up like fireworks when he beheld the giant piece of chocolate cake sitting before him and he lunged at it and stuffed a fistful in his mouth. He ran to a trash can in the corner and spat out the entire mouthful, a sick and terribly disappointed look on his face.

"It looks like chocolate cake, but it's not chocolate cake at all!"

"It is vegan." the Djinn said, cackling as he disappeared from view.