The Bastarding Extra "i"

Lisa had been very disaffected by "book club". She'd been all geared up for a night of deep discussion, only to discover that half of the women hadn't read it and the other half, who had read it, weren't willing to talk about it. The only mulling had been over wine and the only thing digested had been cheese.

There had been no literary consumption at all.

It had been held at her friend Yvette's house and she had had high hopes but, much as she liked Yvette, her book club had been little more than a gathering. Lisa had left early with a migraine, which wasn't far from the truth as talk of wayward husbands, nail parlours and holidays really did make her head hurt.

She decided that she would start her own Book Club and she had just the title, named after one of her favourite books.

But how to tell Yvette? Over coffee, she decided.

Yvette understood.

"I totally get it," she said, with a mouth full of fancy. "To be honest, I get bored too. Shellac soon wears thin."

Lisa was so relieved.

"So, you don't mind me setting up my own? I know some people who are interested and I thought I'd put some flyers up."

"Of course, I bloody don't! Tell you what, I'll even give you a hand with the flyers, get them printed and such. Give me an idea of what you want and I'll design something."

There was no denying Yvette's eye for design; it was good but Lisa had reservations about her attention to detail. But she felt churlish making demands when Yvette had been so magnanimous and found herself agreeing.

She told her the title and Yvette wrote it down.

A week later, the flyers were ready and Yvette distributed some to local places as a surprise for Lisa.

*

It was while Lisa was in the queue buying lemons that she saw the flyer and dropped the innocent fruit in alarm.

Yvette's flyer was perfect - except for the spelling:

Dangerous Liasons

Fellow shopgoers talked for weeks about the woman who stomped from the shop, kicking lemons and chuntering something about "the bastarding extra 'i'".

***

366 words

You can thank Paul Stewart, my Vocal chum, for the title for this story, taken from a comment that he made on one of my pieces or his pieces - no matter. A comment was made and I liked the phrase so much that I felt it had to be used somehow.

You can check his vast body of unique and accomplished work here:

Thanks, Paul.

Thanks for stopping by! If you do read this, please leave a comment as I love to interact with my readers.

178/366