The Barn Of Speaking Facts

Never thought I would be witnessing this but as I sat in the car parked in front of the barn, I thought to myself who have I become. The people that I called my friends have turned there back on me and all I have is this old run down barn. As I sat there for a minute I just thought about everything that I’ve always dreamed of. What have I been reaching for the most? What am I supposed to be doing in my lifetime. And was this barn a wake up call for my destiny? As I continued to stare at this barn I remembered what my lover told me, you have a dream and you can do anything you put your mind too.

That day everything that came to my mind said focus. Focus on what your supposed to be doing. Focus on always speaking the truth. Something or someone was telling me to speak the word, but that’s not what I wanted to do. I was never the one to tell others what to do with their lives. Because, I never wanted someone to tell me what to do with mines. But, I always asked why the man upstairs what was my purpose for life. Or why he gave me so many health problems and struggles. Maybe because he knew I was strong enough to handle them but that still doesn’t let me know why I was blessed with this barn.

Was it because I was always emotionally scarred and I needed to speak the truth. How the ones that I was always there for turned their backs on me. Disrespected me too. In ways so that I needed to move how bosses move. But I had no clue how I was supposed too. Even though it wasn’t no one else’s fault but my own, I had to figure it out. Or was it because I had hate for those that killed the ones that I loved. But, he said “you have to forgive those people that do you wrong.” Because the devil said “other things such as spin on me.” Though he told me he will go in again on them. I was supposed to speak about the young women that needed to know how to nurture their bodies. Singing throat baby on social media, living the fast life, getting pregnant, and can’t take care of a baby. Why can’t we teach our women to love themselves, be independent, instead of sleeping with this dude and that dude. Teach them how to hustle get it out the mud on their own so they don’t have to ask anyone for any money, but I guess that’s old. Asking him “is that what you want me to do? Just be honest and speak the truth, open up like you know to do!”

Talk about the love that you have for everybody. Not just your family but those in the hood, and those that always see the bad in the good. Talk about these young adults that’s joining these gangs. Want to get active get active with the one that heals your pain. He has the last word and what to say on your name. All these people thinking it’s okay to be out here popping tootsies. Either you end someone’s life and you won’t realize it until you are sobering up the next day going through hell, or your in a coma brain dead, or calling your family from jail. Now the girl that no one believed is telling the story of the gun that had four murders on it. But what will the police do release him back on the streets to do it again. Yea you heard what I said he think he’s going to take the pain away but his life will end one day because the same tootsies that killed my brother will be the same tootsies that kill him, his girl, his sister and his mother. I’m just telling the truth.

King Bank mixing pineapple fanta with the lean slurping down that tootsie he got from somebody he thought was his sister. The one person that everybody looked at like a brother, came home to the people that loved him like any other. His mama raised him like a king and that’s what he will forever by the Trap of the South, big L the tiger. When you thinking about turning your life over there is always someone or something trying to steer you in the wrong direction. So if your out the game for three months because your working on something important. Remember to always stay focus and don’t put nothing before him because he loves ya. Your business will always be in the streets but you got to just keep rolling, and know that one day everything will be aye okay!

Now it’s crazy how everybody around me see red. Bang green, but big C like what do you mean. But everybody gone eat. Doesn’t matter where they stay or lay their head if it ain’t one person then it’s another dead. I always ask do it feel good thumbing through the backend? Some may ask what does that mean? Your own family can switch up on you quick fast in a hurry. Mines did anyway not even a simple I love you. Mad about some petty shit because I got it out the mud, just upped and walked away. I can’t throw my life away I got to feed my family and make sure they straight. I was raised by the right, Sending kite after kite to this dawg that told me everything was gone be alright. So you can say what you want and I’ll still salute, but it is just on gang i’m gone always stay Solid, loyal, and true.

Crazy how my life was being played out like a movie script. I was manifesting things that I was dreaming about. Most of the things that I hadn’t even seen or heard, just felt like Deja’u. I didn’t know if I was supposed to get this barn for justice reasons or a night club. Because, as much as I wanted it how was I supposed to pay for everything you know money talks. Thinking about a check, all the women in a buss down. I done did some messed up shit that I definitely regret now. But, I’m Savage an I always come out swinging like Muhammad Ali in the ring i’m gone be one of the greatest. They have talked down on me just to see me fail, they have ratted on me cause they want me in jail, they have made me mad to see me fight just so that they turn me into the bad buy. I will not fail, I will not let them win, I will be the best that I have ever been. So as you waiting on some clout and hating on my name, always remember i’m the only queen in the game. Just remember I keep my fire on me, blue ruga you see. Stepp’n with the boys screaming MURDA in the trenches with my mini me’s. So plot on me now, plot on me later, plot on me while i’m getting this paper.

Sometimes I wish that I could change places with my love. Thinking to myself I don’t want no new faces, and how he always have my heartbeat racing. They say time heals, don’t want to build a life without him because I realize that he’s mines still. Staying up all night having conversations in the dark, knowing that at any circumstances my heart could stop beating if I let down my guard. Firing up a cigarette when I’m feeling stressed, still smoking weed to clear my mind ain’t no more X. I’m sorry but I’m in love with a war baby, and I had to repent my sins. But I always stayed ready in the end. It was time to stop playing games, because I wanted this mans last name. Kinda makes me wonder? Do you even think of me? Why you playing with me? Wishing you could just talk to me. Got me running around looking for love and I shouldn’t be. Knowing after everything we went through it’s still hurting me to say that I’m missing you. I sit back everyday and ask what would it have been like if I would have got you out of the streets? Would we be happy together, living somewhere where the sunshine’s forever? Like I just wanted to put your mind at ease. I didn’t get to and now everyday it’s like a package and deliver. You will forever be the one that I love and the one that I focus on from the heavens above. Focusing on everything and bringing the dirt to the light. Glad that you have my back no matter the storm. Guiding me through like we about to bare arms. But it’s like your telling me what do and I can hear you saying speak the truth, tell it like you do. He didn’t give you that powerful as voice for nothing. All I heard him say was Queen you better speak justice and on everything I love ya!

So, as I walked inside this run down barn I soon seen my visions and all my dreams come true. My life was finally happening for me and my babies to become true. As they grow up in this world they will understand and know everything that their mama went through. That their daddy was killed by the boys in blue for standing for what he knew saluting to the red, white, and blue. But with pain in my eyes everyday I will take a stand for what I know and I will never allow them to fail I will raise my right and left had up and yell. Justice for my people, Justice for my babies, justice from the left side , justice from the right side and justice from the the bosses that stand in this barn with me too. Standing for those that didn’t get to tell their truth. Some may say that I’m this and some may say that i’m that, but i’m just speaking on a young black girl and that’s a fact. I have a dream and was born as a queen, and one day i’ll be a millionaire from the the hymns my ancestors sing.

Standing in this barn ready to drop down to my knees, I ask him to take this burden from my heart. If I had of said more than I said then my brothers would be here today. The cross from my back, saved me from my sins that’s that. Tears in my eyes, blood from my hands, enemies from the reign, and the journal that’s black. I am going to turn this barn to The Barn Of Speaking Facts!