The Awakening

In opening her eyes she became immediately disoriented. Things didn’t feel right somehow. The scene before her seemed foreign, she searched her memories trying to put down a base. Something to build upon, something to anchor her to this reality. She was starting to panic and she didn’t even know why.

Harry opened his eyes, the dream fresh in his mind. He lay there thinking, it had gone further this time. Shaking it off he got up and dismissed it again. “Just a dream, just a dream”. He went into the bathroom and was momentarily hesitant to look in the mirror, but it was a fleeting thought and it was only him staring back at him. Harry who needed a shave. Still in the back of his mind he acknowledged the dream and pondered it’s meaning.

Later, dream forgotten, Harry went about his day. He drove into town, looking, as he always did, at the stunning beauty of where he lived. The high meadows and higher peaks beyond. It never failed to calm him, to center him. He loved where he worked and played. He had jumped at the offer to relocate here, the company he worked for opening a new division. He still hadn’t made the connection though to his particular dream and the move.

His day was going well, things running smoothly at the office. Especially for a Friday as things could get rather hectic at the end of the work week. Lunch time rolled around so Harry decided to take lunch at the cafe down the street. It being a beautiful early fall day he sat at one of the tables outside, watching the people walking by. Half way through his sandwich he noticed a particularly well dressed woman walking by, commenting to himself “That outfit is amazing” He stopped mid bite, thinking “where did that come from?” Not “wow, she looks amazing, which she did. But commenting on her outfit” After a few minutes he had convinced himself that what he had thought was quite normal, and was nothing to be concerned about.

His afternoon though, seemed to contradict his hypothesis. Several times he caught himself admiring some of the women’s outfits around the office. So much so that he was becoming rather shaken and when Pete suggested they stop for a beer after work he quickly agreed.

The micro brewery was crowded with people unwinding from their week. Pete and Harry found a hightop vacant though and quickly grabbed it. Conversation was light and Harry’s double IPA was going down nicely. Then in she walked, the same woman from earlier. She was stunning, both Pete and Harry were almost starring. Her vintage look made her stand out like a Warhol amongst a gallery of Van Gogh’s. All beautiful but decidedly different. But Harry wasn’t just looking at her, it was her clothing that had again, grabbed his rather obvious gaze. She smiled at him walking by and Harry managed to smile back and quickly look away.

Having finished their beers they said their goodbyes. Harry decided to get a growler to go and was soon heading back home. The woman and her look firmly planted in his thoughts.

Harry’s evening was coming apart, or Harry was beginning to come apart. He poured a pint from the growler and sat on the porch looking out over the valley below. Soon the strong beer and amazing scenery had him relaxed, and he was slightly more able to think about these new occurrences that kept popping into his head. He had decided that it wasn’t really that unusual for him to complement most women on their attire. He’d been doing it most of his adult life. But this was different and he was struggling with his thoughts on their clothes. He wasn’t simply admiring their outfits he was and this is where things were getting sticky, he was desiring their outfits. “Fuck” he mouthed to the setting sun, “What is happening to me?” “What’d they put in this beer?” His head was spinning, even as he pictured that beautiful woman at the brewery and her stunning outfit “Stop” he yelled.

Harry flopped on his bed, he hadn’t even removed his shoes. He was asleep almost as soon as his head hit the pillow.

Opening her eyes Lilly was again disoriented, where was she, who was she. She stretched, enjoying the sensation. Somehow she didn’t feel the panic that she remembered from the last time that she had woke. Still there was a strangeness to her body, “Is this my body?” She thought. “What a strange thing to think, how could it not be?” Tenitivly she felt along the edge of her memories, soon some images started to come into focus, things she did not recognize. Confused, she started to feel less solid somehow. Less awake. She felt herself fading, “no no not again” she thought as she dissolved...

Harry woke to the sun on his face, groggy he made his way to the bathroom, splashing water on his face “Coffee, he needed coffee” The growler sat empty on the counter, glancing at it sitting there the only thought he could muster was “Did I really drink the whole thing?”Harry had never been a big drinker and was both dismayed and amazed at the thought of the empty growler.

Coffee in hand Harry sat at the kitchen table trying not to think at all. The dream however had it’s way and he could think of nothing else. After some serious thought Harry was coming to a new conclusion, he was beginning to think that this dream was not a dream at all but a presence. A female presence. “How am I supposed to wrap my head around this?” he thought. “I need to to do some research, and quick before I totally lose it” he spoke out loud to the house, hoping that it would give the statement more weight.

After several hours of searches from possession to reincarnation Harry had decided one thing, he needed to call his Grandma. “If anyone could help him in this it would be her” He recalled all the stories growing up that she had always told on those weekend’s he would sometimes spend with her and Grandpa. “She had always had the story telling gene” he remembered his mother saying. “And then some” he added smiling, thinking back to a specific evening with a storm raging outside and the power out.

Grandpa answered on the second ring, he was always right on top of the old land line, it being right next to his recliner. After some small talk, Harry asked to speak to Grandma, “she’s in the kitchen as usual” answered his Grandpa. “Just hold for a minute, I’ll get her”.

Again, after some more small talk, Harry was finally able to convey his dilemma to her. The phone was silent for what seemed forever, then just as he was going to say something more, she started laughing. “ What, wait are you laughing at me Grandma?” he stammered. “No no Harry, but you must admit, you’ve gotten yourself into quite the pickle.” Again she chuckled before finally saying “Ok, first I’ll tell you what I think is going on, then I’ll tell you what you might be able to do about it.”

“First off” she said “Our family has some history you may not be aware of.” After considerable discussion it was revealed to Harry that, on his mother’s side of the family, going back generations, several members of the family had been known to have a connection to the other side. She then went on to say that she had always thought that he might have the ability but hadn’t pushed the matter with his mother. By the time she had finished with him Harry’s head was mush. He was numb. He still didn’t know weather or not he believed the whole mumbo jumbo.

After an hour on the phone Harry said his goodbyes and promised to let his grandma know how things turned out. Harry decided he needed to clear his head, so he got dressed and headed out for a run. A good run had always given him the time to work things out in his head. This time the answers weren’t so easy to present themselves. “I have no idea what it is I’m supposed to do!” seemed to be the predominant thought, looping through his head. But Harry was determined to see this thing through, “come hell or high water”

So Harry spent the remainder of his Saturday doing some research. Lucid dreaming seemed to be his best chance to hopefully be able to effect some influence. The down side being, his complete lack of experience in doing that. Hopefully with what his grandmother had said he was going to be a natural.

Harry spent the evening quietly reading a book,relaxing and staying away from the alcohol. By ten pm or so he got ready for bed and settled in. His heartrate was elevated and he couldn’t focus on anything. Soon though he started to relax and was eventually able to hopefully guide his consciousness, where to exactly was another matter.

Harry sat on his porch looking at the beautiful scenery in front of him. Things seemed rather quiet. There was a complete lack of sounds. “Hello?” he said to the surrounding panorama. “Is anyone there? No one answered, it was as if his words had been inhaled by the air. He rose and went inside, again calling out.

Lilly heard a voice, calling. She hesitated in answering, “where am I?” She thought. “Why can’t I see anything?” Tenitivly she answered, very quietly “hello”

Harry paused, he’d heard a voice. “Hello” he repeated, “I’m Harry, who are you?” Lilly replied “why can’t I see you?” Harry remembered what his grandmother had said, “just focus on my voice”. Soon the outline of a woman started to coalesce in front of Harry. Hazy and undefined she was nonetheless a young attractive woman, who sort of turned to smoke below her knees. “Where am I? Lilly asked.

“I think we are in my dream” replied Harry. “Oh” replied Lilly thoughtfully, “How is this happening?” Harry had to think about that one, slowly replying “I’m not really sure myself, does it upset you?” Lilly’s reply was to simply shrug her wavering shoulders and say “no not really, but why are you dressed so strangely?” Harry looked down at his dream image, he was wearing a hoodie with the words “Just do it” on the front and ripped blue jeans with flip flops. Then he looked at her clothes or the resemblance of an outfit. She was wearing a 50’s style pencil dress of the type Audrey Hepburn would wear. Harry didn’t know how he was going to tell this woman, who seemed to be about his age, that he thought she was no longer living.

Just as soon as he had the thought he regretted it. The look on her face told him everything. “Shit, I am such a shit” he thought. Lilly wavered, and vanished, but he could still feel her presence somehow. Apperantly the connection between them was becoming stronger, she seemed almost a part of him now. He could feel her confusion, her hurt, her need of companionship.

The dream faded and Harry slept deeply for the remainder of the night. Sunday found Harry sitting at the kitchen table contemplating the events from the dream, which he remembered completely. Every time he had a thought of her he could feel a little of her. His control over this happening was nil. He was thinking that he didn’t even know her name, and then there it was. “Lilly” Harry was a little taken aback. She was now known to him he realized, all that she was, was now in his head. Even the fact that her memories seemed to stop around the time of the first moon landing. They were that connected. Including her love of fashion.

Several times throughout the day Harry tried to get Lilly to make another appearance, or least say something in his head. But she either couldn’t or more likely wouldn’t. Harry decided that he needed to find out what her fate had been. He even made a point of directing this thought in his head towards her memories so maybe she would know his intentions.

Monday came and Harry’s exposure to women began again, all the women in the office drawing his newfound appreciation of the feminine fashions to the front. Several times he caught himself thinking about how nice something would look on him. Those thoughts soon drove him to start turning his head and shielding his eyes from seeing them. Causing quite the water fountain talk to circulate throughout the office. “I need to get this under control and now!” he thought again as he looked away from Tammy and her nice skirt and blouse. And the high heels were the worst, he was beginning to find out. He actually caught himself watching several of the girls as they walked by. By noon he needed to take a walk, but found himself looking at the window display in the store down the street. Several mannequins in the latest dresses calling to him. Finally out of frustration he mentally called to Lilly saying “could you please tone it down some, I’m really starting to lose it” It took a few seconds but then she answered, in his head “ I just love that one on the left, don’t you?” “Yes I do but....” he started to say but caught himself before he finished the thought. “Please Lilly?” Finally, it seemed, she acquiesced, and he was able to gain some measure of control over the what had been an almost uncontrollable urge to wear that outfit in the window.

Harry made some excuse about not feeling all that well and left the office early. Determined to find some answers. Lilly, it seemed was becoming more at home in his head and asked him “ what are you going to do Harry?” “So now you’re calling me by my name, great!” “I’m having a conversation with a dead woman, in my head, and all she wants is for me to but on a dress!” “Not just any dress Harry, that dress.” Lilly answered. “I realize now that I’m dead Harry, couldn’t you do this for me?” “What? No way!” Harry thundered back at her, then felt immediately cruel for acting that way.

Somehow Harry had found his way back to the storefront, without even realizing he was heading that way. Again he just stood there looking at the dress. It was a very pretty dress, Lilly was calling it a tea length dress. It was in a word, amazing. She was gushing about it in his head. “No and no and no!” Harry kept saying to her. Lilly went quiet, pouting. “But I’m a guy!” Harry said, half defeated. Lilly didn’t seem to think that was an issue, “oh so what, it’s just a dress” she said “Who’s going to know anyway?” Harry answered “me, I’ll know. Shouldn’t you be moving towards the light or something anyway.” Lilly was quiet for a moment before answering, then she said “To tell you the truth Harry, I hadn’t really thought about all that. I do suppose I’m going to have to give you back your life sometime.”

That statement did it for Harry, he was defeated and walked into the shop. Over an hour later he left the shop with everything that he would need for Lilly to get what she desired. His credit card was smoking, the dress alone had cost him several days wages. He told the owner of the shop that he had no idea women spent so much on looking good. She had helped him with just the right shoes and everything. Of coarse Lilly was making the final decisions. Harry it seemed was just along for the ride. Before he left the owner had winked at him and told him he was welcome back anytime. At that Harry, face red had just nodded and walked out.

And almost walked right into the woman from the bar. Again she looked flawless, she looked at Harry’s bags and smiled. Harry was finding it hard to talk, Lilly on the other hand, forced herself in his head and Harry blurted out “I love your outfit” She thanked him and said “ Don’t you just love this shop, what’d you get?” All Harry could do was point to the dress in the window. Holding out her hand she said “Hi I’m Jean. Who’s the lucky girl that getting that?” Taking her hand Harry or should we say Lilly answered “Me, or I mean Lilly is her name” Jean tilted her head slightly in a quizzical manner and smiling said “Well, Lilly is definitely a lucky girl” And with that, she winked and walked on into the shop.

Harry was aghast, he hung his head, and walking away was muttering under his breath about having to move and never being able show his face in town again. Lilly on the other hand said to him “she likes you, ya know” “Huh, what? No way, really? Harry said in his head back at her “ really?” he repeated. “Yes, definitely, clear as a bell.” Lilly was shaking her head. “You should go back right now and ask her out” Harry stopped and looked back at the shop. Lilly was in his head again “No regrets Harry, I’ve got plenty of them. Go ask her out” Harry knew she was right, and so he turned around and went back.

Entering the shop he saw her over by the shoes, so he walked over and said “I realized I never gave you my name, I’m Harry.” Jean turned saying “thank you Harry” Harry then just blurted it out “Would you consider going to lunch with me?” “I would love to go to lunch with you, but what about Lilly?” Lilly was laughing in his head, Harry replied saying “Lilly was most definitely not a problem” “Then tomorrow would be great” Jean said smiling that slightly quizzical smile. They then went on to set it all up and parted ways for the day.

Harry was smiling and walking with a spring in his step. He was very nearly skipping. Lilly was both happy and proud for him. Harry thanked her several times, she deferred saying “your the one who did it Harry”

The drive home was over in no time, Harry set The bags in on the bed, and went to the fridge for a beer. Lilly was becoming slightly impatient, and excited about the outfit. Just sitting there in on the bed. Harry told her to settle down some, he needed to relax and digest the day’s events.

Soon though Lilly couldn’t be placated, so Harry relented and told her that he was going to let her take the lead on this. He had never felt like this before, stepping back in his own head and letting her use his body. Lilly started with a bath and “oh jeez” she shaved his legs. Then putting on some lotion Harry realized he liked the feel of that way too much. Next she tied back his long hair and started with the makeup, soon Harry was more her than him and when she did his nails he was feeling quite overwhelmed. He was becoming quite feminine. Last came the stocking and when the dress went over his head Harry was feeling a calmness come over him. When she put on the heels Harry felt faint. “Was this how it felt to be a woman?” He knew a lot of what he was feeling was Lilly but still, he was loving it! Looking in the mirror Lilly/Harry was taken aback. “Wow!” Was all he could muster. Somehow he felt complete.

After that, the night was a blur, the house seemed too small for them they both wanted to go out, to walk around the town feeling the evening air, enjoying the feeling of being so feminine. Harry had totally surrendered himself to this and was not sure he ever wanted to go back. To go back to that drab man that he was. So they did, with Lilly’s confidence as his guide they went into town and walked around for almost an hour. Upon returning home Harry was mentally exhausted, they collapsed on the bed and just lay there taking it all in. Soon though, the undressing took place and Harry was soon in bed and dreaming.

The next day Harry was up and out the door early. He was eager for his lunch with Jean. He hadn’t even noticed the lack of Lilly in his head. The dress hanging on the closet door kept entering into his thoughts though. Never failing to bring a smile to his face.

Lunch time came and Harry hurried to meet Jean at the restaurant. They enjoyed a light meal with good conversation, getting to know each other. Late in the meal Jean had a confession to make, she held out her hand for Harry to take and looking him straight in the eyes said “ I’m pretty sure that I saw Lilly walking around town last night, she looked fantastic” “You, looked fantastic” Harry didn’t know weather to run or rejoice. Jean was still holding his hands in hers. Harry decided to dive in and said “thank you” “It seems I may have some explaining to do.” Jean’s reply was perfect “we’ve got plenty of time.”

Somewhere down deep in the corner of Harry’s mind Lilly smiled and said “Goodbye Harry, and thanks”