The Arbarist

I tiptoed up the stairs, moving over the middle step that often creaked. No one needed to know I had been down here or out of bed at all. I carefully twisted the handle to the bedroom and slipped inside, noiselessly shutting it behind me. My wife moaned lightly and flopped over on the bed. She was facing me now, and her arm was outstretched over my side. I sighed deeply. She didn’t move. She didn’t wake up enough to notice I wasn’t in bed with her. I took several steps towards the bed and did my best to crawl inside without touching her. Once stable, I adjusted and pulled her arm over me, lightly. Again, she did not wake up. 

I looked at the bright red digital clock on her dresser. 4:32 am. Fuck. It’d be at least two more hours till I was able to get up again. I lay there thinking about my half-finished project downstairs. I made a mental note to pick up silk string and sewing needles after work. 

I waited impatiently, letting my mind wander to darker places. My wife moved up against me, nuzzling almost into my shoulder. I reached over and pet her hair back and off her face. I smiled to myself, thinking about how I had done something similar earlier, when working on my project. 

My wife’s alarm finally rang at 6:35 am. She rolled over and groaned. 

“Morning, honey,” she muttered, reaching over to kiss my shoulder. She stumbled out of bed and headed towards the shower. I quickly dressed and headed downstairs to make a pot of coffee. 

I sat reading the newspaper when she finally came down - dressed and ready for the day. There was no mention yet of what I had done, but it was still early. I expected even the late-night news might be pushing it. Tomorrow, though, certainly. 

My wife poured her own cup of coffee into a travel mug and covered it with sugar and cream. 

“I’m going to have breakfast with Shawna and Tracy before work, and then I’ve got that budget meeting, so I might be late tonight. Are you going to be okay on your own for dinner?” she asked, sneaking a bite of my bacon. I gawked at her jokingly, and she smiled. 

“I’m sure I can scrounge up something microwavable,” I teased. She smirked again and leaned in to kiss me. 

As soon as she was out the door, I groaned and cleaned up my dishes before leaving myself. I started up my truck and headed across town to continue on the tree lot at Farnsbey. 

My crew had already arrived when I pulled up. Jasper was talking to Mr. Farnsbey, who looked exasperated. I got out and quickly walked over to them. 

“Good morning. What seems to be the problem?” I asked. They both turned to look at me with flames in their eyes. 

“Your men here have cut the trees on the far side too much. I need that shade from the afternoon sun, and my wife needs privacy from our neighbors. He also tells me that the trees through the back of the property are not on the list, which I specifically asked for. He said it would be several thousand dollars to add them, and I’m not given any kind of a discount for their screw-up!” Mr. Farnsbey choked out, gesturing wildly at Jasper. 

“Jasper, why don’t you gather everyone around by the far side, and I’ll talk to Mr. Farnsbey to see what we can do here?” I suggested, politely tapping him on the shoulder. Jasper nodded and shot Mr. Farnsbey a dark look before he headed off to join the rest of the crew. 

I talked to the client for what felt like several hours, delicately listening to his complaints and seeing how we could correct the situation. I felt bad for Jasper as I looked over the assessment application. Despite what Mr. Farnsbey claimed, I had nothing written about the line of trees through the back of the property, but I didn’t bring that up. This would delay the project another two days, and I couldn’t get away without adding something to the cost. Finally, we settled on a price that he could live with, and I could skate by on. 

I headed back out to join my crew to see that they were mostly done with the parts they were on. 

“Why don’t you all head home, and I’ll finish up here tonight? Tomorrow we’ll reconvene at 8 am to look at how we are going to fix this,” I explained after gathering my men to me. 

“We didn’t mess up. We followed the order,” Jasper insisted. 

“I know that. Don’t worry, I’ve seen this before: people claiming we messed up or misheard what the orders were. That’s why we always do the assessment beforehand to avoid these things. You all are great and doing a fantastic job. This will not affect your work with me or your pay. But we are going to rework the order to appease the client.” 

Jasper crossed his arms and looked displeased but said nothing else. I explained a bit more to them before dismissing them for the day. I loaded up the rest of the tree pieces and debris into the truck and headed around to the back of the property to do a full markup of what we’d need to do the following days. I noticed off to the side was a small family graveyard. A shiver went up my spine. How had I not noticed this before? 

The sun was setting, and Mr. Farnsbey had long since left me to clean up and leave. I discreetly moved closer and examined the names on the stones. Some of these were incredibly fresh, only five years old. Another shiver of delight ran down my back. 

“What are you doing here?” a voice called out. I turned around quickly and accidentally stepped on a pile of flowers that had been left on the grave. I moved away from them. It was Mrs. Farnsbey, Mr. Farnsbey’s mother. I had only met her the first time I’d been contracted for the job. She was too frail with her sickness to be out and about like this. 

“I apologize, Ma’am. I was just cleaning up, and I noticed your family graveyard. I will finish cleaning up and get out of your hair,” I replied, moving quickly back towards my truck. I picked up the rest of the tree debris as I went. She was waving me off as I moved, clearly not offended by my trespassing or unaware of the inappropriateness of it. 

I got in my truck and suddenly didn’t see her anymore. Had she gone back inside? I had a hard time imagining that woman was fast enough to get inside without me noticing. Though she had snuck up on me in the graveyard… I let it go and turned on the engine. I could stop by a fast food place and get home with several hours on my project before my wife came home. I smiled at that thought. 

I started to back up and didn’t bother to look too closely out the back since there was nothing but grass. But I hit something hard, and my back tires ran over the bump. Jesus Christ! Shit! I prayed it was a deer. 

As I moved around the side of the car, I saw Mrs. Farnsbey! Shit! Shit! Shit! I couldn’t tell Mr. Farnsbey I hit his mother. I reached for the side of her neck. Not only was she not breathing, but it was bent in a way that she certainly could not survive. I’d get involuntary manslaughter at best… I could go to prison. Lose my business. Tears started streaming down my face. I thought of my wife and her living in our house alone. I thought of her discovering the basement and all my half-finished projects. I shuddered at the thought. Once she revealed those, they’d never let me out of prison. A thought occurred to me. 

I lifted the body of Mrs. Farnsbey and loaded her into the truck with the rest of the wood. I delicately wrapped her in a mat and tied her down. There were deep marks in the ground from my truck, and I did my best to cover them up. I drove as quickly as I could back to my house and brought her body in with the rest of the wood to the back garage with my wood chipper. It would be easier from there to sneak her into the basement. 

I had barely finished putting her body amongst the other body pieces and finishing up my latest project before my wife came home. She kissed me lightly and made a face. 

“Have you been working on your building projects all night? You smell like dirt and death. I’m not sure how sanitary it is to keep dead animal bodies in there.” 

I smiled nervously and nodded. Animal bodies indeed. 

“I follow all the necessary steps to keep from spreading disease and infections. People appreciate that my pieces are authentic. I’ll go shower now.” Authentic indeed. She never questioned how I could get “animal bones” to look so human. 

I showered off the day as much as possible and tried not to think about what challenges I might face tomorrow at work. 

As I read the paper, I noticed that my work had finally been reported: two new grave robbings in the local area. Police are still baffled. That’s a good sign. Still no viable suspects. I flipped open to a new page and saw what I had not expected: the disappearance of a local elderly woman. Foul play suspected. My body went rigid, and I felt a cold sweat starting to build. They still didn’t have any suspects, which I found surprising. True, Mr. Farnsbey had thought I had left, but still. I decided not to question it and just be grateful. 

I felt jittery and nervous all morning until I headed out to work. Mr. Farnsbey was talking to Jasper again, only their expressions looked less hostile. I walked up to them quickly, trying to calm my nerves. It didn’t work. 

“Good morning, gentlemen,” I stated. Pretending I hadn’t read the newspaper report about his mother. Mr. Farnsbey looked at me sadly. 

“John, I was just telling Jasper here about my mother. She disappeared. She has a tendency to wander off, but I saw some strange tracks out by our family plot. I’m terrified something happened to her. I’ve been searching all the hospitals, but so far she hasn’t turned up. I was hoping I could ask you all to help me search the property. Of course, I’ll compensate you further for the efforts. Now, I dare say, I’m happy we over-trimmed the trees - it might be easier to see her,” he blubbered out, unable to stop the tears. I reached over and patted his shoulder gently. 

“Of course we will, not a problem at all.” I nodded to Jasper, who left to convey the new task to the rest of the crew. “I’ll drive my truck around to the edge of the whole property and see if we can find her. I’m certainly sure everything will turn out alright,” I lied through my teeth. I shuddered internally. Mr. Farnsbey nodded, and I moved back to my truck. 

As I opened the door, I saw a note inside. My name was scribbled across the front in handwriting I didn’t recognize. I opened it and tried to read through my shaking hands. I KNOW WHAT YOU DID. I stared at the note, frozen in place. I felt as if my whole body had turned to stone except for the sweat beading up around my forehead. I looked around, but Mr. Farnsbey had gone back inside, and my crew was all gathered around the west side of the property. I crumpled the note and tossed it to the back of the truck before driving around the property. I saw no one else, no one who looked like they were watching me. Nothing else suspicious - except for me. I felt nauseous and anxious. How could anyone know? It must be referring to something else, I convinced myself. I swallowed hard against the vomit and did my best to continue my job. 

The hours passed, and nothing else strange seemed to happen. I had barely started to relax as I sent my men home. I said goodnight personally to Mr. Farnsbey and assured him and my crew that I would do everything we could to help him find his mother. A hole burned in my mind of her body starting to rot in my basement. 

As I moved back to my car, I found another note. I KNOW WHAT YOU DID, AND YOU ARE NOT GOING TO GET AWAY WITH IT. 

I almost screamed in the car. I looked around again, but there was no one left. I called up Jasper. 

“Yes, Sir?” he asked. 

“Jasper, did you see anyone around my truck today? Someone who might have gotten too close or was acting fishy?” I asked. Jasper grunted. 

“No, Sir. I didn’t see anyone go near it, but I was focused on cleaning up the west area of trees. The guys were with me the whole time. Mark had gone to get us lunch, but I doubt he would have gone near your truck. No one else left the group all day. Are you okay? Is something wrong?” 

“No, no, don’t worry about it. I just thought I noticed something. Not to worry. Thanks, Jasper. Good work today. I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

“Good night, boss.” I hung up the phone and started to drive home. My wife was there when I arrived, cooking up a pot roast. I briefly greeted her before burying myself in the basement. I wasn’t sure what to do. Should I get rid of the body? Should I bury her somewhere? Maybe I could just cut her up like I did all the others and eliminate the evidence? No one could commit me for anything they couldn't prove. Especially if it was just my word against someone threatening me. 

It suddenly seemed strange that someone would leave notes and threaten me but not immediately call the cops. Especially if their plan was that I ‘wouldn’t get away with it.’ I pondered that for a while and decided to deal with her body similarly to how I had with the others. It took several hours, and I cleaned up with bleach and formaldehyde, as usual. 

As I moved upstairs, I noticed my wife had gone to bed. She left me a note on the microwave with a plate inside. I sighed and pulled it out. As I started to eat, my phone rang. I looked at the clock. 11:34 pm. Who the hell would be calling? I saw that the caller ID was blocked but hesitantly answered anyway. 

“John The Arbarist, this is John speaking,” I said as quietly but professionally as I could. Static filled the receiver, but I could still hear the altered voice on the other end as he laughed deeply. 

“Hello, John. I trust you got my notes.” I stopped eating and got up quickly, looking around outside. I saw no one or anything suspicious. “Here’s how this is going to go. If you want to keep your secret.” 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I have no secret.” More laughter. 

“Sure you do, John, or sure I say, Tomb Tinkerer?” I shuddered at the horrible nickname the papers had given me. “Decided to up your game, did you? I agree, fresher is better.” 

“What do you want?” I demanded. He laughed again, and I felt myself go cold. 

“Don’t worry, John. I’ll keep your secret, but now you’re going to help me with a few of mine.”