The Adventures of Ethel & Franklin: Birthday Scare

It’s Friday evening, October 9th. Today is Ethel’s daughter, Macy’s birthday. Ethel’s best friend Franklin has just arrived at Ethel’s house for Macy’s birthday party. “Ethel? Macy? Where y’all at-” before Franklin could finish he slipped on a bouncy ball at the front door. “Well dang you uncoordinated heffa.” Ethel joked. “How the hell did you just slip and fall over nothing?”

“I didn’t just fall over nothing, you complacent jackass.” Franklin responded as he picked himself up. “I tripped over that enchanted ball you left sitting in the front door just waiting for someone to slip and fall and break their damn neck on it.” “You know, you sure do complain a lot, Frankie.” Ethel retorted sarcastically as she continued putting up the party decorations. “I wouldn’t complain so much if you weren’t always tryna to kill me, Ethel. I think attempts on my life are like hobbies for you.”

“You know, you’re probably right.” Ethel responded as Franklin assisted her in putting up the party decorations. “So who all is coming to this little shindig for Macy’s sweet 15?” Franklin asked. “Well, there’s that sweet little girl, Opal from next door and a few of her friends from school. I figure I’ll have them play some games like corn hole, a piñata and maybe even pin the tail on the donkey.” “Well that’s quite the suggestion.” Franklin began sarcastically. “Let me guess, you’re gonna be the donkey?” “Really, Frank?” Ethel exhaled.

“I mean, it’s not like that’s a far fetched suggestion. You’re a jackass to me everyday and I often wanna stick a pen in you at our workspace, but for some reason I just can’t do it.” “That’s because you’s a punk ass bitch and don’t have the upper body strength to stab anybody with a pen. Matter of , you can’t even lift a pen you lil beyotch.” “Well damn!” Franklin said while taken aback. “Tell me how you really feel, Ethel heffa.” “I just did, walnut head.” “Ethel I am not about to let your immature banter sour what’s been a good day so far, where’s Macy?”

“Don’t you go in there bothering her.” Ethel said while stopping Franklin in his tracks. “She’s in the room on her phone, super preoccupied and I wanna keep it that way. She doesn’t know I have all these decorations up for her yet.” Franklin examined all the decorations before he responded. “Well you got Deadpool, One Piece, and K-pop Demon Hunter. Pretty much all Marvel and Anime nerdy stuff a teenager enjoys, especially her, so what’s the big secret?”

“Yeah, but she doesn’t know that I got all of her favorites. I even have a picture of them all as her birthday cake decoration. Even you’re gonna love that one mr. Dullard.” “I am NOT a dullard.” Franklin scoffed. “I’m actually a pretty fun person when you get to know me.” “ I do know you, I’m your best friend.” Ethel replied while playfully punching Franklin really hard in the chest. “Don’t kill me before the children do.” Franklin joked while holding his chest. “Come on Ethel, let’s finish setting up.” “Of course, we gotta finish putting up this-” before Ethel could finish her reply a giant spider in the corner of the kitchen floor caught her attention.

“AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH” Ethel screamed as she pushed Franklin out of the way and jumped on top of the kitchen table. “WHY ARE YOU SCREAMING LIKE A BANSHEE?” Franklin yelled. “Frank, it’s a spider right there in the corner. It’s as big as a house, kill it.” Franklin spotted the tiny spider with underwhelm. “Girl that spider ain’t even the size of the nail on my pinky.” “What you talkin’ bout, Willis? That thing is huge, kill it.” Franklin sighs in annoyance then walks over to the spider and promptly squishes it.

Ethel climbs off the table and breathes a sigh of relief. “Whew. You the man, Frankie and for killing that spider I’ll temporarily give you your man card back.” “Hardy har har, you lil weasel. Big woman scared of tiny spider. I’m taking your man card away.” Franklin exclaimed as he and Ethel finished setting up Macy’s birthday decorations that she would certainly enjoy.