No Man's Land
“…You know what I’ve been thinking, Roy? I would kill for a petty crime right now, anything! I remember when I was exclusively called for world ending events and my sponsors would vomit money to have me wear their logo whenever some Dr. Danger or Professor Ruthless would go on air with a doomsday weapon but I’ve been so bored lately; I wish petty crime were still a thing. What I wouldn’t give to stop some thug from stealing money or food or to bust some trespassers smoking weed in a park tonight… …Roy, am I an asshole? Be real with me, I just…look, I know that sometimes the ‘criminal’ was stealing to feed his family but what about all the times he wasn’t? Sorry, Roy, I’m not being gender inclusive, all the times he or she wasn’t? Lady crooks were definitely a thing. Anyway…I forgot what I was saying…also the park was sacred and they knew what they were doing… Nah, I think I’m a pretty good guy…”
Notes from a Married but Independent Woman
The first time I mowed the grass it was as a favor to my parents. I thought that it would be helpful since they were busy and it is a lot of yard. My parents have four children, the only boy being the oldest of us all, so I had never mowed the grass before. I figured I could do mow the grass, it couldn’t be that hard. So I pulled the push mower out of the garage and started in the front yard. It was actually a lot harder than it looked because the mower was heavy.
A pared pair of pears
“We have been crawling across this backyard for two nights now snail where are we going?” “To the fruit trees slug.” “I’m tired.”
The Coffee Opinion
By Thomas G Robinson When I stepped out of the tent, a supposed five-person tent that I remember getting online at Amazon, yeah, it was right after I got my second shot of the Pfizer vaccine. Not that that matters, because my only worry right now is if all the coffee is gone. I needed to get up and start this day. Still, it was kind of a shock to feel the cold of the forest grounds. Little rocks, sticks, blades of grass and weeds that were poking and tickling my feet were a cold awakening to the early morning sun blinding my vision briefly.
BREAKING NEWS: people across the globe panic as climate change devastates thousands of cities. Air quality continues to worsen by the year, despite the discontinuation of fossil fuel use. Temperatures will not stop rising, and despite the thousands of corporations vowing to produce only recyclable products, landfills still overflow, destroying the remaining, precious, ecosystems. In a recent environmental study, it was found that the most prominent products in landfills across the globe are menstrual products such as tampons and pads. With the release of the study, major industries such as TAMPAX and KOTEX are sued for marketing non-recyclable materials in a time where there are no more exceptions.
From the Journal of Sir Ziggy Newton, September 1687
On a late summer’s day, I was seated beneath the pear tree in my garden, enjoying the shade it provided. It was a delightful afternoon and my thoughts were focused on the beauty of nature. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the freshness of the air. I was nearly dozing when suddenly I was struck on my cranium by a ripe pear!
Moscow’s Calling - 2
This conversation took place on Aug.28, 2021, after the Wall Street Journal published a story on defense contractor Erik Prince charging people $6,500 per person to get evacuated from Afghanistan.
The End of Grimm's
Breathless, I run down Pennsylvania Avenue toward the White House. I’m finally going to be an activist with a cause. It's difficult to tell if I am carrying the sign or it's carrying me. The placard is bigger than I am and the wooden stick is hitting the back of my legs as I hustle down the thorofare. I am close to on time, hoping that’s good enough, as I turn the corner towards Lafayette Square. Twitter informed us to converge on this famous piece of real estate and head over to the executive mansion, taking up our individual causes. It would suck to be tardy for my first protest.
Cassie meets Rosemary
It was a beautiful day in the early fall season. The trees are beginning to change colors. The temperature is beginning to cool down, but it's getting close. The wind blows beautifully. The birds and cicadas were singing peacefully. There was a young sorcerer-druid, Cassie, who just went to the market festival for some shopping. The market festival is also celebrated with some fruit trees that have grown in the late summer, including pear trees and apple trees. The lights are twinkling. The confetti was so colorful. Everyone was so cheered and excited. There are also so many booths. Each of the booths has candies, bread, fruits, books, vegetables, jewelry, tools, fudge, nuts, cakes, soaps, boots, clothing/dresses, and flowers.
The Day Hell Froze Over
Hell froze over on Sunday, July 15. Most people didn’t know what was going on, but the news that week was one amazing thing after another.
Walrusses vs Walri
"Broke Stick Billy! Let me stop you right there. There is a reason I nicknamed you that, it's because like a broken stick in hockey you can't play. We let you join the league every year because we need to fill a roster spot. I even drafted you this year and gave you a shot. But now you are a traitor and basically dead to me." Mediocre
Tom sat alone at the tall bar table. His feet dangled from the stool. He fidgeted with the cloth napkin surrounding his silverware. Waiting. Every few seconds his eyes would dart between the entryway, the napkin and his phone. She was running late. Not too late but late enough to let some worry creep into his mind. He felt the eyes of the room closing in on him. He did his best to ignore it but their whispers were getting louder in his head. Look at him. So pathetic. He got stood up. Of course he got stood up, look at him. He’s so sweaty. His pit stains are soaking through his jacket. What a loser.