Sunlit Absence

You are pure poetry

Your lips taste like the darkest void, a treasonous valley,

of which I have lost myself unduly

And set to roam its peaks forever

Your skin is the salt of death

Your heart a welcomed rest

These words pierce my soul

Make me whole, make me yours,

Drown me in love, let me be absolute

Same as the sea foam swallows the shore

Do not let me float half-lit in the starry sky

I am not your soft excuse or your safe fall

Flood my chest and hold me bare

My night is certain, abandoned, without a care,

You deliberately sink me into dusk where waters are velvet

and air is warm. We are an immersion. We do not crave comfort with other creatures. We demand room for pain and truth.

We are perfect, we are standard, we are beautifully and recklessly undone.

If you love me, then love me. Love me how you can, completely and utterly if you must, right? But, let this life be exact. Do not do this halfway. Do not live torn in the in-between. Give me the sharp edge of your absolute truth or give me the clean break of your undying absence. Do not offer me a blurred horizon, or a heart that hesitates at the door. If we burn, let us reduce the night to ash. If we part, let the silence be total and lead us into an entirely unknown abyss—for I have no use for a lukewarm sun; I demand the height of noon and the stroke of midnight for my tepid moon.

I would rather bleed from the precision than rot in the comfort of compromise. Do not stand on the threshold of either place and call it a home. For it does not exist, not even in death.

Let this love settle into our very bones like the marrow of a cold winters frost. Do not hold it back; let it rise, let it wander through the empty corridors of our aching ribs and call it hunger. For I starve for you, my angel— in the bones of my bussoming cathedral. You, the predator that feeds on my very soul until nothing remains but this bubbling, beautiful ruin. Held tight by the weight of your hands. By the strength of your tongue. The bite of your words. Touch your breath with mine until all ownership blurs entirely and we cease to be two. Make it mine. Make it yours. Make it the only true thing we possess before the silence takes us.

If you love me, then love me.

Love me how you can, completely and utterly if you must.