Stinky Pinky

A long time ago, a giant boat spilled tons of magical pink sugar and secret chemicals right into the ocean. The waves whipped me, the sun baked me, and Poof! I drifted right up from the waves. A pure, majestic (obviously gorgeous) ball of sentient pink fluff!

I just want to glide over the waves looking pretty, but the ocean is a bit rough for a delicate bubble girl like me.

My life is a constant struggle against heavy storms and passing ships. Rain is my worst enemy! It makes me all soggy and heavy on the top. You see, my bottom half is protected from the ocean, but my head... pure fluff. When the water hits, instead of a glorious floating puff, I turn into a sad, sticky puddle over the rocks.

Humans scare me. They see me floating near the boardwalk and start screaming, "Look! Floating cotton candy!" They try to grab me with their grubby hands but the second their skin touches my fluff, I evaporate into vapor to protect myself... and leave a lovely parting gift. It's a super duper, hyper itchy rash! Touch me, you'll be scratching for a week. Serves 'em right. Nobody likes being pawed at... give a girl a break.

Also... when I turn into vapor, I smell exactly like a giant fart. I'm talking pure sulfur and rotten carnival trash. It's the worst... and literally the most embarrassing thing ever for a glamorous princess like me. One second, I'm a majestic cloud, the next, everyone is plugging their noses and running.

Because of this, you can only catch me if you trap me in a jar or a bottle. Glass is the only thing that can keep me contained before I poof into a cloud of clown farts. I don't mind the jars either, they keep the wind from ruining my floof. More importantly, they trap the smell and spare me some embarrassment.

Do you want to know what makes my brain absolutely explode with happiness? Cotton Candy!

Just thinking about it makes me vibrate with excitement! I don't need food, but cotton candy is an absolute delight! I've found that eating spun sugar helps mask my stink and keeps my bubbles smelling extra sweet! When someone shoves a ball of it into my jar, my dopamine levels shoot through the roof! I absorb it into my body and then it repairs my bubbles, masks my gassy odor, and gives me crazy fluffy volume! It's like a spa day and a sugar rush combined!

Since I'm a nice cloud blob, I'll grant you a wish if you can catch me... but only if you feed me that precious cotton candy first! No sugar? No magic. Even then, I suggest you be careful. I'm made of synthetic chemicals and ocean mist, so my magic is a little quirky.

A week ago, a guy trapped me and wished for a million dollars. I made him feed me blue raspberry cotton candy first, which tasted a little weird but did the trick. Then, I gave him his money... but all of the hundred dollar bills were printed on pink paper and smelled like artificial berries. The bank wouldn't take them... but he had them... and that counts, right?

Anyways, I'll just be here, floating around by the pier, waiting for someone to bring me my sugar fix. Keep an eye out for the pink fluff. And remember, don't touch, or things are going to get smelly!