Spacial Reasoning

1

Nobody can hear a scream in the vacuum of space, or so they say. Everything I know now contradicts this statement. The echo of Hernandez’s voice plays in loops, over and over in my mind. Sharp. The shrill of genuine fear, high pitched and primal. What I saw wasn’t really him. It was something else that took over. The fuck, no one can hear a scream in the vacuum of space. I was the only one there, no recorded evidence. None. No one heard me. But know I heard him.

“Oh fuck!” There’s a bright flash, then darkness.

Down the corridor, Doc enters the 6 key passcode to unlock Hernandez’s files. Add a scan of the retina and your whole life is unlocked for the viewer's eye. Roberto ‘Bobby’ Hernandez. 5’-10” 189 lbs. Brown. Parents died early, but he was raised by his grandparents. Psych evals showed his strengths, the only trauma he suffered was fixed when he went ‘under the knife’- all those years ago. Car accident- same thing that took his parents. He was just a kid. The only reason we know is because it came up over drinks back on Earth. He didn't remember much from the accident. It was more a story retold from his grandfather's memory. A memory of a memory.

Results came back clear, fully healed. Medical procedures no longer keep humans from space. Doc refuses to believe the cause of this incident was something that would impact the mission. Hernandez was born for missions like these. No living family, no close friends. He wouldn't be missed, and in his case, there was no reason to look back.

Time bent when it happened. Despite what seems to be true. All the things they teach you when you’re training: the videos, the simulation rooms, all the books and lectures….

Everything appears blurry, I feel a sharp pain in my arm and the back of my head.

“Rue! You with me?” Doc taps on my face, trying to get me to look him in the eye. I somehow landed on the ground. “That bright light, what was that?” I managed to ask, Doc turns to his tablet and is writing. He doesn't respond. I think I'm ok. Assessing my body for pain, I sense none, but my head is spinning. “Where’s Hernandez?” I ask. Doc shakes his head. I look back up to the lights in the hall, where he found me. I close my eyes, and cry. “Where is he?! I need to see him.” I yell and begin to pull away. Doc pulls out a needle. Everything goes dark for a second time.

Hernandez and I had these hypothetical conversations time and time again. Probably the most likely way I’d go, what would be the worse case scenario. All the “would you rather….” questions. A get to know the deeper sides of you games we would play since all we had was time. Given everything that’s happened, I'm no longer afraid of death. If anything Hernandez helped me find that courage. I never thought I was strong enough to go on a mission like this. Maybe I'm not, and people like him were supposed to make sure I kept my shit together. We had to miss the flags. Something tells me, there’s more to it. How true is the truth? None of it adds up. I never saw any signs. No clues or anything that could point me to why this happened. Something he hid from everyone can just as easily not be real in the way we perceive it, right? What goes on inside your mind? How do we know any one of us is really ok, unless we say so. At the same time, our bodies can never betray the need for survival. There is always a signal. You have to have a strong mind to make it out here. He seemed so strong. The quiet and strong type, but his body would have failed him. I have to figure this out.