Smiling Friends Corporate sponsored first ever gay wedding!

God, I’m so nervous. This is it. I’m gonna do it. I’m gonna ask this dude to marry me.

He’s survived a whole year with my sloppy ass, he deserves.. what’s the word? Permanence. No, that doesn’t sound right. Something… sappy. Something that makes it official. Forever.

I want to be with him forever. Allan is my person. He understands me. Even if he doesn’t live in my shoes, he can still make an effort to learn what I’m all about.

Last night was Christmas Eve. Allan and I were running all kinds of errands and did a bunch of stuff to get ready. The boss had us off work, which was a miracle. Probably because last time, he asked us to cut down a tree for the office and I, well, died. Literally. That’s not important though.

We’re having dinner just by ourselves then Pim and Katrina are coming over for dessert.

I’m thinking I’ll pop the question after we have dessert. I have a speech. I can’t go rogue, Pim had warned me. I know he’s right. I’m a mess otherwise.

“You’re such a mess Charlie,” Allan says to me as we wake up in bed, nuzzling against the nape of my neck. I feel a shiver down my spine. He always is the big spoon. His long red arms scoop me inside his thin body, and hold me tight all night long. I pretend to complain about it.

But I really fucking.. I can’t live without him doing that every night for… like, forever.

“Well that’s a fine how do you do! Merry Christmas to you too, baby,” I laugh as he stretches his body to face me.

“Merrry Christ-mess-uh,” Allan kisses my nose, and I whine.

“Kiss me pretty fucking please?” I whine. Allan rolls his eyes.

“Where do you want me to?” Allan winks at me, holding on to my hips.

I feel a jolt in my heart, it twitches like a perfect current. I point to my mouth.

Allan slams his mouth against mine, kissing me hard and fast. He is so.. he’s very enthusiastic about affection. I remember when we first started dating… he put ten inches thick of lip gloss on his mouth to kiss me all over my face, leaving lip stick imprints.

It kinda makes me think I’m having a heart attack a lot.

Sometimes at work, I’ll sneak up on HIM and make him freak out. He’s so cute when he flips his shit.

I literally can’t even with him sometimes. He’s so talented and smart and funny. I used to think I wasn’t good enough for him. Well, for anyone. My other relationships went sour when I stopped communicating and just being lazy about my life. Like Zoey, she was someone I tried to make it work with. We just… didn’t fit.

Allan and I don’t look like we fit but, God, it never felt more natural and right than with him.

We make cookies for breakfast. Why?

“Because I fucking say so, Allan. I’m in charge of breakfast, right?” I tease. He rolls his eyes.

“I guess…” he eyes the sugar cookie dough in disgust.

“Cookies, coffee and…” I move over and place my arm around his waist, pulling him closer to me. He yelps and places his hot mug of coffee on the counter quickly.

“And?” Allan asks with curiosity.

“Me. You get me, Allan. Isn’t that a treat?” I ask seriously.

Allan pats my head. “My thoughts exactly…” he says with a straight face. I chuckle.

“Um, Charlie? Your hands have cookie dough on them. Please..” he makes a grossed out look.

“Shit. Sorry, dude.” I say as I run to wash my hands.

The morning goes slowly, just how I like it. I almost burn the cookies. Allan teases me for it. We watch Christmas movies. Give each other gifts. We cuddle on the couch with our coffees. It’s just bliss.

“Hey Allan? Remember when, you know that one night, when you asked to be my personal smiling friend?” I say, and he nods.

“It was the best professional decision of my life,” Allan grins, making me hold him tighter on the couch. He leans into my touch, his hands on my thigh.

“Well, yeah, probably that’s true,” I say and he nods.

“What about it?” He asks.

“Well, what did you mean? When you wanted.. that one weird thing you said? The .. That S word…” I ask.

“Salubrious?” Allan immediately says. I blink.

“How’s … how the heck did you remember that so damn fast? Damn bro, that’s crazy…” I scratch my head.

“Charlie, sweetheart, you promised me something…” he suddenly turned toward the kitchen and I say, “Oh shit!” going to check on the turkey we prepared together in the oven.

“Is it looking okay?” Allan asks from the living room.

I check it quickly, basting it and then putting it back in the oven.

“Uh, yeah. It’s dead, alright, the turkey, I mean. It’s looking pretty good so far. Especially for being unalived….” I tease.

“Ugh! Charlie don’t say that… ughhh!”

I laugh. “I basted it. It looks good. Don’t worry honey..” I say as I go back to holding him on the couch. “How’s much longer till I can stuff my gob? I’m starving.”

Allan sighs. “Four hours.”

“Fuck. Can we order Chinese?”

Allan shakes his head. “No.”

“Fffuck!”

Allan laughs. “I’ll make you something to eat while we wait.”

I cheer, “Hell yeah. A bacon sandwich?”

He shrugs. “If you’re good.”

“I’m good,” I say and he kisses my cheek.

“Yeah. You are good,” Allan says simply.

We cuddle on the couch and I almost fall asleep. Allan playfully jabs my arm.

“Huh? What?”

Allan shakes his head. “Charlie, you were snoring like an old man.”

“S-sorry babe.”

“Am I boring you?” Allan sniffles.

“No way!” I jump up, making Allan jerk up nervously.

“Babe, babe, babe… you never bore me… I was just.. relaxed with you,” I say and he smiles.

“I know, cutie,” Allan says saucily, he takes my hand. “I know that. I was messing around.”

“Oh wait? I was freaking dreaming and we were talking. But I forgot what it was. So… I remember now,” I stammer.

“Did you already get into some spirits this morning, Charlie? You sound a bit drunk…” he says with his brow raised.

“I was asking about that word you said to me…”

Allan snaps his fingers. “Ah. That word. Salubrious. What about it?”

“What did you mean? Cause I think… I think I understand it now,” I clear my throat.

“Hmm?” Allan asks, his eyes locked on me.

“How you make sure I have my jacket on when it’s raining. And you make sure I put on sunscreen at the beach. You make sure I’m comfortable when I fall asleep. You hold me so tightly I suffocate, kinda,” I say and Allan covers his mouth, giggling.

“I used to be a vice grip in a past life,” Allan says strangely and I laugh a little but give him an odd look.

“We have the same dream, kinda. To make sure we live a long time. So we can make each others day better everyday, you know?” I stutter and he grins, silently nodding.

This wasn’t my actual engagement speech so Pim can’t be mad at me. That was later. This is now.

“Salubrious means to give good health, right? And you know… I think… it fits. Yeah. It fits, even though I used to wonder how the hell you and I could fit into this chaotic situation we call our lives together, it’s just… weird, how much I love having you here with me. You know?” I ramble as Allan picks up his coffee, sipping it as I continue to make an ass out of myself.

“I just want you to clean up after yourself in the toilet. But yes,” Allan puts down his coffee. “I want you to live a long time. With me. So eat your damn vegetables from now on..” Allan chastises me, putting down the mug harshly.

“I just wanted you to know that. That’s all,” I say, pursuing my lips together. “And also, not to be crass, but I get kinda turned on when you get mad at me.”

Allan rolls his eyes but I say, “Hey! Don’t roll your eyes at my pain. You know that I’m dying over here waiting for either you or that stupid turkey to be ready for me…”

Allan cracks, laughing so hard. “Charlie you are such a perv…”

I grab his tie and pull him toward me, kissing him roughly at first then sweetly, touching his face.

“That was so hot last night,” I say, in between kisses.

“Oh you mean the tongue thing?” Allan says with a seductive look.

“Well, yes? But what about..” I whisper some dirty stuff to him and he giggles.

“Think of it as a bonus gift. Later,” Allan promises.

“Fuck yes, I win in this game of life after all!” I say happily.

“Yes,” he pulls him close, kissing my face all over. “You really do.”

I can’t wait to propose to him tonight. I can’t imagine life without him.

It’s gonna be fucking lit at our engagement party. I can just imagine it now.