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See Beyond Me

We have to see beyond the images in front of our face. Jessica learns to see beyond herself and follows the energy that she can feel.

By Jessica BurkPublished 3 years ago 14 min read
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Jessica walked out onto the wrap around porch of the log cabin, a cup of steaming hot joe in her over sized mug that read, 'coffee over everything'. She slowly sipped from the mug as she walked around to the back of the deck. The modern day log cabin was perched at the highest point of the mountainside. It was one of the smaller mountains in Tryden Paradise Hills, but non the less when you looked out over the drop off, you could see the entire town below.

Jessica sighed heavily, she pulled the dark red mohair sweater, she wore, tighter around her with one hand as the chilly wind that suddenly blew made her shiver. She looked up into the clear night sky. The stars gleamed like freshly polished diamonds on smooth black velvet. "Where are you?", she whispered into the night. And as if it heard her, suddenly, off to the very far left corner of the sky, a green light steadily begin to take form. It wasn't a solid green light, one would describe it as if someone were blowing a luminescent green smoke into the night sky. It ebbed and flowed appearing to get darker and then lighter. Jessica sat her mug down on the patio table, she moved towards the railing of the porch never taking her eyes off the light. "What are you doing!?", suddenly a voice behind her called and strong arms grabbed her around the waist. "Why are you up on that railing?! You could have fallen and killed yourself!" The tall slim, but muscular, man quickly spun around with Jessica in his arms, he placed her feet on the ground and turned her to face him.

She was smiling but not at him. Her eyes were focused on something, but not him. "Jessica....are you ok?". Jessica's smile wavered, she focused her eyes on the man standing in front of her, his hands now holding her by the shoulders. She smiled again, this time it wasn't as warm. "I'm fine James. Whats wrong?" she asked him. James took a step back from her, "You were standing on that railing!", he pointed dramatically back towards the rail he had just pulled her from. Jessica smirked and looked where he was pointing, "I was not up there....I mean why on earth would I be standing up there James?", she asked, her face truly puzzled. James looked just as puzzled, and then his face softened. "Come back inside with me, I have a nice fire going. I have some fresh cherries too." Jessica stepped back from him and her face paled, "Wa....was I really standing on that rail?" she stammered. James took her hand and grabbed her mug with the other. "Lets just go inside. I have some wine chilling. We can talk about it inside." Jessica slowly nodded, as she let James lead her around to the front of the cabin, she looked over her shoulder. The green light was slowly fading away.

Sunlight fell across Jessica's face as she slept. James sat across the room from her, a look of concern on his face. He reached into his robe pocket as he felt his phone vibrate. "James here," he answered, "Hi Monica, how are you this morning?". He listened as the woman on the other end spoke. And then he spoke quietly into the phone, "I thought we were doing better too, but she had another episode the other night......I know what the doctor said Monica, but it seems like silent seizures to me......she never recalls what she did.....and if I had not come outside looking for her who knows what may have happened this time, she was actually standing up on the railing." James stood and walked out the bedroom.

He ended up on the front porch, he walked down the few steps and stopped in front of his truck. "I don't know what else to do Monica, I thought bringing her to new surroundings would help, and it seemed to, for a little while.......No, no she didn't say anything about any colorful lights this time......I guess that could mean she is getting better.......I am at my wits end with this.....Yeah yeah for better or worse I remember my vows, but ever since she started with, whatever this is, we have grown apart......I know she still cares about me, but the love isn't there anymore.....Yes Monica, I know what the counselor said, that this could be her way of coping with my.... indiscretions, but if she knew that she wasn't going to be able to move past me and Sam having the baby, she should not have taken me back.....You’re right as usual.... I should not have asked her to take me back......Alright Monica, thanks for returning my call, we are probably going to leave sometime tomorrow, it just doesn't feel right anymore. I think we will do better just getting back to our everyday routine." James said goodbye and hung up the phone.

James turned and saw Jessica sitting on the wooden porch swing, she had a blanket wrapped around her, feet tucked under her and her eyes were closed as her head rested against one of the ropes that held the swing. He hesitated before he walked up the steps. Jessica didn't move as he stood over her. He noticed that same smile on her face from the other night. "Are you... ok?" he asked as he sat down beside her on the swing. Without opening her eyes Jessica nodded and spoke, "Yes I am fine. James I want to thank you for taking care of me this past year." James nodded his head, "We are married, it is still my responsibility, no matter how I personally feel about us." Jessica opened her eyes and still smiling she spoke again, "Yes, I can say that about you...you will always separate your emotions from everything else." She closed her eyes again, "But me, its hard for me to push aside or separate my emotions from myself. And...well, I guess that's how he found me." James had relaxed and leaned his head onto the opposite side of the swings ropes, but he quickly sat up. "What did you just say?....Did you say that's how "he" found you? Who are you talking about?". James looked around half expecting to see someone. He looked over at Jessica, she was now sitting up straight, facing him. "Well I guess I should say, that's how his energy found me....we were always so in sync with one another, from the first time I met him I knew he was the other part of me. He was always there protecting me and making me feel safe." James stared wide eyed at her.

Jessica continued to speak but it wasn't really to James, she spoke as if she just had to get this out into the universe. "I guess I've always known somehow he would come for me. He always seemed to know when I was at my lowest...and James...you have been my lowest...I was afraid at first. The feeling was so....strange. I can't even describe it, but it felt so familiar at the same time. Now I realize he was always there, but somehow......somehow now, I can see his energy. I think because I am ready this time, this is why I can see him." James sat there looking at her with his mouth slightly open. Jessica didn't even seem to notice the bizarre way he was watching her, she sighed heavily and ever so gracefully swung her bare feet down onto the wooden porch, all with that same smile from the other night. James jumped up from the swing so quickly it shook violently. "Why does it sound like you are leaving?" Jessica turned slowly and looked him dead in the eyes. "I am leaving James....don't look so surprised. You and I both know this...this that we have has been over a long time ago. I do want to thank you for suggesting that we come here, I was able to really feel the connection and understand what it all meant."

She turned and walked into the cabin. James followed, "Who are you talking about? Who is coming to get you, who has found you?!" Jessica turned to look at him again, "Names are not important any more James. What is important are feelings...and being happy in the space you are in," she reached up and plucked a tiny piece of a leaf from James' shoulder length light brown hair, "and we both know we are not happy in this space. I know we care for each other but we are not happy." She walked into the bathroom and shut the door. James stood there and listened as she turned the shower on, he turned and walked into the kitchen, where he sat with his head in his hands trying to make sense of what Jessica had just told him. He was more puzzled than ever now. "She has lost her mind..." he said out loud to himself, "this is all so crazy. I'm going to call Dr Edmond when we get back home and see what he makes of this nonsense."

As the day turned into night James found Jessica lounging out back on the deck. He sat down in the other lounger. "You want to go ahead and head back home in the morning?" Jessica, taking her gaze off the emerging stars, looked in his direction, "I will not be going with you James. I have to stay here, this is where I feel his energy the most so this is where he will come for me." James rolled his eyes, sighed and visibly irritated he left her alone on the deck. He pulled out his phone and called Monica, he explained what was going on and Monica agreed that calling the Dr once they got back home would be the best thing for the situation.

As the darkness descended around her Jessica stood up and walked in the direction she had seen the green light a few nights ago. The night seemed incredibly still, no chilly wind blowing, no animal sounds. Eerie. Searching the midnight sky she opened her mouth to beckon the light as she had done before, but as she took in a breathe to speak, a flicker of green caused her to pause. It was right next to her, so close she could feel the warmth on her skin, like a low burning flame, coming off of it, as it begin its dance of fading and then growing bolder with each movement. Jessica reached out and as if she were a magnet the light suddenly engulfed her hand! She drew in a sharp breath, and as if it heard her and felt her tense up, the light paused. Jessica smiled and relaxed, "I am not afraid of you, I know you would never hurt me. I am ready for you." Within seconds she was gone, one would never have known someone had been standing there, were it not for the dark red mohair sweater laying precariously on the deck.

James stood at the window looking out over the back deck in total disbelief at what he had just witnessed. His mouth open and eyes as wide as the open end of the mug he had just dropped and shattered, he moved almost mechanically towards the spot where Jessica had just stood. He waved his hands out in front of him, as if looking, feeling, for a door or.... or something, anything that could explain what he had just witnessed. His feet tangled in something on the ground, looking down he noticed the sweater that Jessica had been wearing. He picked it up and stumbled back until he landed on one of the lounge chairs.

As the birds begin to chirp their early good mornings and the first rays of the morning sun peeked out from behind the mountain that faced the back of the log cabin we find James still sitting, still puzzled, still pondering. His normally neat light brown curls were disheveled and stringy where he had been running his hands through them all night. His naturally pale, clean shaven face now tan and showing traces of a 5 o'clock shadow, the stubble itching, causing him to unconsciously rub the sweater he held in his hands across his face. His cell phone vibrating in his pocket went unanswered. He pulled it from his pocket just as it stopped ringing. In a daze he made his eyes focus on the screen of the phone, he wrinkled his face up in confusion. "This cant be right..." he spoke out loud to himself, "have I really been sitting here for 2 days?!" He jumped up from the lounge chair and spun to face the glass window, staring back at him was some red eyed, stringy haired, sun burned mad looking man! "I....I've got to get out of here."

James sat on his flight back home wondering what he was going to tell his family, hell Jessica's, family about what happened. No one was going to take that disappearance story as the truth! He glanced over at the empty seat next to him. "She left me..." he whispered to himself, "that's what i'll tell them....she just up and left me." James settled into his seat as he put the whole lie together in his mind. He was just about to drift off when he thought he saw a flash of lightening outside his window, startled he quickly glanced around to see if anyone else had noticed. The other passengers were asleep or watching the screens in front of them. James slowly turned his head to look out the window. Yet again he couldn't believe his eyes! But right there, outside his window, was his wife, or at least a smokey illusion of her. Jessica looked, as only James could describe to himself, like a beautiful apparition. She seemed to float or fly effortlessly amidst what looked like a glowing green shapeless cloud, white flashes of lightening bolts emitted from her ever shifting form. The only thing solid in the entire scene was her face, her perfect dark brown eyes, her perfect long thin nose, her beautiful round full lips. James watched wide eye'd as she turned to face him. She tilted her head slightly and looking him in the eye's, James could suddenly hear her voice in his head, "James don't look so afraid, I didn't come to hurt you. I just wanted you to know that I forgive you, I had not truly forgiven you for what you had done, and because of that I couldn't truly be free from you. Go make your peace with yourself now, and then you can be truly free of me." And just like she was there....she was gone. James yelled out her name and blacked out.

"James....James....can you hear me?" James rolled his head in the direction the voice was coming from. He opened his eyes and slowly focused on the face that was so close to his they were almost touching. He took in a long deep breathe and grabbed Jessica's face he kissed her long and hard. When he let go of her, Jessica sat back a little embarrassed, she shyly looked around at the other passengers on the plane. "I just had the weirdest dream...you wouldn't believe me if I told you", James nervously laughed. The flight attendant went on her way throwing a cautionary glance over her shoulder at both James and Jessica. "Sounds like you need this trip as much as I do." Jessica spoke looking down at the pamphlet in her hand, on the front of the leaflet was a picture of mountains with log cabins scattered among the beautiful colorful trees. "This name just sounds peaceful, 'Tryden Paradise Hills'," Jessica leaned the pamphlet over so James could take a good look at it. His face flushed a little. Shivering she reached into her carry on and pulled out her red mohair sweater, slipping it on, she noticed James staring at it, his brow sweaty. Jessica spoke again,"Hey, are you really ok? You don't look so good right now." James managed to nod his head yes and swallow the knot growing in his throat. Jessica spoke again, "Good, I think this will be great for both of us. You know it has been the weirdest thing....sometimes at night I see....I see what looks like a...a spark or like a flash of electricity..." James turns towards her, "...I mean but its not white like what a normal electric spark would look like.....Its like a.....a 'Green Light'."

Short Story
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About the Creator

Jessica Burk

Writing is my way of getting the movies that play in my head out into real life. I welcome any and all critique! I am an Alabama native. Mother of two wonderful boys and one fur baby girl! I love to draw, paint, sew and travel!

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