Salubrious part 43

Charlie had the most weird dream that Monday night. He felt blanketed in the most serene warmth, and the lavender aroma overwhelmed his senses. He dreamed of having a family, a real family, with two kids.

And he was in a field of fragrant flowers and the kids, his kids, were running and singing and playing.

He knew the person parsing out sandwiches was Allan, because in the dream he heard an annoyed, flat voice calling for… their kids. It felt so safe. So warm.

So warm. So very…

He woke up in a light sweat, realizing Allan had covered him in a thick comforter.

“Oh Christ, did I oversleep… Allan?” Charlie said with a yawn.

“Allan?” Charlie called again. He couldn’t find his phone, panicking for a moment. “Dude, have you seen my phone? I was.. I had it last night!”

“It’s over here by the kitchen counter. I put it to charge last night since it was low on batt-ter-reee.”

Charlie sighed, then he realized today was the day Allan had told their boss he was going back into work.

“Shit,” he said under his breath. He had forgotten to send his boss that email to possibly get Allan some FMLA.

His thought was stopped in its tracks as he smelled something heavenly. His feet followed the aroma as he felt like he was one of those cartoon characters floating as they followed a delicious smell, usually it was a pie.

This was…

“Good molting, I mean, good morning, Charlie!” Allan grinned. “Donuts? They just got done a few minutes ago.”

Charlie took a few steps back, blinking a few times. “Huh?”

Allan gave him a quick look that seemed curious and concerned. “Morning,” Allan repeated, putting down his mixing bowl, going over to a shell-shocked Charlie. “Morning, Charlie, sweetheart,” Allan said as he kissed Charlie on the mouth.

“Goo-good morning, hon,” Charlie stammered, blushing as he kissed him back. “You made donuts?”

“Oh yeah. I did. They’re glazed, I fried them up. Go sit down, I’ll make you a cup of coffee.”

“How was.. your night? Did you sleep?” Charlie didn’t move, he felt frozen by how normal Allan was acting. He hoped to God this wasn’t a dream still.

“Maybe I slept better than you, hehe. You keep sleeping on the couch, Charlie, it isn’t good for your back.”

Charlie nodded. “And..” he saw all the bags from last night were empty and everything was neatly placed on the kitchen table and folded.

“You got us some stuff?”

Allan nodded as he made Charlie coffee. “Yeah. I may not be doing all that initial stuff I was talking to you about. I don’t think the kitchen really needs to be redecorated after-all.” Allan brought the coffee over to Charlie, smiling. “I did get you some new hats and a scarf.”

“Wow,” Charlie exclaimed, drinking the coffee, going over to the table. He picked up a teal hat. “This is really nice. Thanks, Allan.”

“Oh, there’s a jacket too.”

Charlie tried it on. It fit really nicely and looked awesome. It had a surreal tiger print on it with some swirl designs.

“That looks so hot on you, omg,” Allan teased. Charlie did a spin, winking at Allan, letting himself take a moment to breathe.

“I know. I’m hot as fuck, aren’t I babe?” Charlie said in an overly dramatic tone, making Allan almost drop a donut as he plated the breakfast, laughing.

He gave Charlie a plate as he cleared out some stuff on the table.

They both settled, sitting down to eat breakfast.

“These are still warm, be careful.”

“Um, fuck, hon? What time is it?” Charlie took a bit of a donut and made an happy mmmm sound. “Oh my God, what the actual fuck is this? A cloud from heaven dipped in sugar and Angel jizz?”

Allan spit out his coffee, spraying some on the table, laughing. “Oh my eff, Charlie, you’re so gross. Don’t ever say that again.”

“I can’t help it. This shit is something you would find in another dimension, realm or some surreal place where food is where you ascend spiritually…”

Allan blushed, touching his mouth, eyeing Charlie with a sweet look.

He stuffed a whole donut in his mouth. “Dude, I can’t stop…” he said with mouth full.

Allan shook his head, giggling, “You’re so dis-gust-ting-uh!”

“Come he-here and kiss me with this…” he stuffed more donut in his mouth, “donut crammed in my mouth…”

“Gross! No! Ugh!” Allan held up the coffee mug like it was shield as Charlie approached him.

“No? You need more donut in my…” Charlie put another piece in his mouth, “mouth?” He leaned in and kissed Allan, who looked horrified and amused at the sight of Charlie with a mouth full of food leaning in for kisses.

“No I said no more donu..” Allan said as their mouths collided, as Allan at first tried to avert the inevitable collision.

The kiss was so strong, so messy, Allan just went for it, fully. He started licking the donut bites, chewing and sucking and just going in deep, kissing him like it was a normal French kiss.

Charlie felt his body propel forward as Allan gripped him tightly, his whole nervous system on lock as he wasn’t expecting this much affection this easily, especially since the last few weeks Allan was hyper sensitive to extra sensory things and too much physical attention made him feel exhausted.

He felt himself relax as he felt the intensity of Allan’s kiss match his initial physical touch.

“Yum,” Allan said as he wiped his mouth.

“So, what is the plan today?” Charlie asked with a red face, not expecting so much attention from Allan, but really enjoying it. He still felt on edge, waiting for a potential spike in anxiety or a sudden shift in Allan’s emotions. So far, everything seemed fine. Almost too fine.

“Oh, work. I am getting bored, Charlie.”

Charlie bit his finger, looking at Allan nervously. Allan picked up on it, messing around with Charlie’s hat.

“Listen, Charlie, I felt so.. you don’t know what you’ve done for me these last few months. Especially the last few weeks. I have never felt so… cuddled with these strange warm feelings, yet with this kind of all-encompassing, safe energy like I do with you.”

“Are you sure?” Charlie squeaked out.

“No. To be honest, no. I’m not sure.” Allan sighed. “But, I’m so sick of being unable to get out of our apartment without looking over my shoulder. I’m so tired of being afraid.”

“So, you’re not sure but you are going to just, wing it?”

Allan nodded. “Yeah. I’m gonna wing it.”

Charlie took in a long breath, going over to check his phone. Allan started cleaning up.

“No don’t, babe. I’ll clean up.”

Allan put the plates down, smiling.

“Don’t worry about the pot with the oil, like, it needs to fully cool down and I’ll just take care of the pot later. I can reuse the oil if I strain it…”

Charlie listened to Allan, nodding, as he saw Pim was texting him they may have two jobs later today.

“Okay, sounds good,” Charlie said, texting Pim back.

“What time is it?”

Charlie said, “Uh, it’s twenty to seven.”

“Okay, I’m gonna take a shower. We can leave together, cool?”

Charlie looked over at Allan and grinned. “Def, babe.”

Charlie texted Pim back, mainly discussing the new jobs.

“Hey Charlie, do you know were some of the towels I had in our room went?”

“Uh? I spilled some soda in the kitchen yesterday. I had to use two of them, sorry!”

“Oh, no problem.”

Charlie finished up texting and started clearing off the kitchen table, putting them in the sink, cleaning off the stove with a wet cloth.

He grabbed a yogurt, starting to run the sink as he ate it quickly, then started the dishwasher in a hurry.

He polished off another donut and put the rest of the leftovers in a tuber-ware container. He felt proud of that, as Allan taught him how to properly put away food.

He drank the rest of the coffee and put the empty yogurt cup on the counter, leaving to go get dressed for work.

“Do we need milk or.. I think we need more coffee, Charlie, right?” Allan said suddenly as he walked out of the bathroom.

“I think so. I know our gallon was almost out…” Charlie said, going to their bedroom to get ready.

“I’m thinking of making some kind of chicken and rice tonight. Is that good?” Allan asked as he put on his tie.

Charlie nodded, weirdly feeling things were coming into place, and he started to let himself relax a bit.

“Yeah. If you’re up to it. Sounds great.”

“Hey, actually I wanted to… tell you something…” Allan said, going into their bedroom as Charlie got dressed.

“What’s up?”

“My fath-or is coming into town this weekend.”

Charlie looked up at him, eyes wide. “Uh? Really?”

“Yes. I requested a meeting with him this Saturday to discuss something. I need you with me. Would you be available?”

Charlie gave him a goofy look. “Uh? Is this a business proposal or a marketing idea? It sounds really.. business-like.”

Allan looked at him funny back. “It isn’t a business meeting it is a family thing. I need you to meet my father, Charlie, so you can know my family. You’re my boyfriend.” Allan frowned. “Are you kidding me?”

Charlie laughed with a puzzled expression, “Okay, I’m… of course I’m available, babe.”

“He will be so pleased you gave me this promise ring… I can’t explain how I got it without you.” Allan said as he flashed his promise ring endearingly.

“He’s.. he doesn’t care that.. well, you know,” Charlie fumbled as he tripped putting on his pants.

“Oh no. He knows I like ketchup and mustard equally on my burger.”

Charlie gave him a look of stunned disbelief.

Allan chuckled. “I didn’t actually tell him that Charlie.. but yes, he knows I like men too.”

“I have no words.”

Allan nodded, fixing Charlie’s hat. “Find some words for Saturday, sweetheart.”

“What about your family?” Allan asked, as he got his wallet and watch (the one Charlie bought him).

“My uncle is like, super disrespectful. Not even homophobic. Just so effing rude and mean,” Charlie explained. “I don’t talk to my parents. I have a cousin. She’s cool. Just… I don’t really stay connected.”

“I get it. My mother passed away when I was eleven so I only have my father, really.”

“That’s tough man. I’m sorry. I honestly felt like I didn’t have much support growing up even though my parents were there.”

“Really? Is that why you became a Smiling Friend?” Allan asked.

“Um, sure? I don’t know.” Charlie sighed. “Can you hand me my wallet and my watch too?”

“Yeah. Remember when that Disney jerk stole your golden watch and wallet?”

Charlie nodded. “Little flying asshole almost got away with it too.”

“Yeah. I was so startled.”

They started to walk toward their front door.

“Hey Charlie I’ll meet you in the car, ok?”

Charlie nodded, throwing the apartment keys at Allan. He caught it.

“I’ll lock up, I guess,” Allan smiled.

Charlie nodded as he went to the car. Allan went to the fridge, getting a water bottle and a tea.

That’s when he saw it. The empty yogurt container.

Allan freaked out immediately. He had forgotten to clean out the fridge. Since two weeks ago, which the severity of the situation only worsened in his mind as he saw the expiration date on was three weeks ago.

He smelled the container which immediately had a sour smell.

He slowly tossed half the contents of the fridge into a large trash bag, then washed his hands vigorously. He threw away some random things he didn’t even check, thinking almost everything should be purged.

Going to the car, Charlie waved to him as pulled over to pick him up.

“Hey, Allan, I was just thinking.. maybe I should get your pops a gift, like to just make sure he will warm up to me easier. What kinda shit does he like? Sports? Baseball? Is he a wine guy?”

Allan shrugged. “Um? I don’t really care. Anything.”

“Um, you.. you okay?” Charlie looked a bit on edge, griping the wheels. The immediate shift in Allan’s tone made Charlie’s whole body feel like it was on a loop. It was a similar loop that had lasted two weeks and it was more muscle memory at this point.

“Charlie, you ate expired yogurt,” Allan said in a quiet voice.

Charlie frowned, “What? Oh, that yogurt I ate earlier before I did the dishes.”

Allan scoffed, laughing like tea kettle about to explode.

“I’ll be fine. Don’t worry. Yogurt has good bacteria in it, like, it will fight off the bad bacteria.”

“Charlie, that good bacteria stops working after three weeks. This really was very irresponsible of you. I had to throw away most of the fridge. Now I’ll be worried about you all day.”

Charlie frowned, rubbing his temple as he drove.

“Dude, don’t… but I cleaned the kitchen?” Charlie said in a flustered question, looking ahead and not at Allan.

“I know. Thank you. But I just don’t understand why you’re so careless about these things.”

“Man, get off my back, please. I seriously don’t need this.”

“I almost threw up. How did you not realize that the yogurt was bad? It smelled sour.”

“It went sour because I was too exhausted from working 24/7 like a slave to keep things moving. So we didn’t drown!” Charlie said frustrated.

Allan tilted his head, looking out the window angrily.

“You don’t need to throw shit in my face, dude. That’s fucked up, Charlie.”

“I don’t need this shit either. I work so hard for us. I don’t ask for anything from you. I just…” Charlie clenched his jaw, his teeth clacking together. “I just…”

“Just what?” Allan asked.

“Just… wanted you so fucking badly to be okay.” Charlie felt a sting in his eyes, and a stray tear fall down.

“I never lost hope you would be okay. But, I didn’t want you to feel pressured. I wanted you to feel safe with being not okay as long as you needed,” Charlie cried softly. “I never lost hope.”

“I’m sorry about the yogurt,” Allan said in a broken voice, taking Charlie’s hand.

Charlie squeezed Allan’s hand.

“I’m sorry about the yogurt too,” Charlie said.

They drove quietly to work holding hands, looking exhausted but alive. They didn’t feel great but at least things weren’t terrible anymore. And at least they had each other. That made them feel strong enough to keep moving forward, even when everything against them made them want to step backwards.