Salubrious part 41

“Dude, you have no idea, I’ve played close to six hundred, seven hundred hours and I still feel like the mechanics are lost on me. Like crafting, getting my shit together, I usually can feel my way through it. But like raiding and all that stuff that involves PvP combat, I get killed sometimes like instantly…” Charlie rambled, drinking his coffee slowly.

“Yeah I’m just not into those intense survival games. I don’t like raiding people and my computer overheats like, terribly fast when I play it for too long,” Pim explained.

“You need to get one of those fans, dude. Allan actually got me this shit, it’s like a.. paste? It can help with overheating.”

“Oh you mean thermal paste? I’ve heard of that,” Pim said with a nod.

“Dude like seriously you are too smart for your own good. Like you look like one of those goody-goodies that just sit home and read books all day…” Charlie laughed.

Pim smiled. “Why thank you Charlie. That’s very kind of you to say.”

“Yeah but like I was saying, dude, Rust isn’t for everyone. It’s like, takes a lot of work and effort. If you just wanna do something easy and not get too invested, you’re just gonna die on the beach. Naked, too. Just like the day you was born,” Charlie continued, pushing away his coffee mug.

“You don’t like the coffee? Sorry, usually…” Pim started to talk but stopped.

Charlie sighed. “Usually? What?”

“Usually Allan makes it.” Pim frowned, “Sorry.”

Charlie looked down, shaking his head, then looked at Pim with resignation. “Yeah, man. Don’t worry.”

“How… how are things? Is Allan doing okay?”

“No dude. It’s getting worse. I thought one week off work would help. Now it’s two. I don’t know what to do anymore. He just looks so numb half the time. And like.. ugh, finally he’s getting out of our apartment.”

“How’d you get him to leave? I know ever since that terrible person that hurt Allan is now missing, it’s got to be difficult.”

“There’s a manhunt going on from what I understand. I hope they find him soon. I heard the little fucker stole like 1.2 million from that bank. Who knows why,” Charlie rubbed his nose roughly, sniffing in anxiety. “I gave Allan a kind of, like a free for all kind of spending spree. I got money saved up for emergencies. I just said this morning, ‘here hon, go crazy. Get yourself some nice shit.’ I don’t know Pim, I’m fucking tired.”

“Wow. I mean, that’s super nice of you. But isn’t that a bit reckless?”

Charlie nodded slowly, looking at him with an annoyed expression. “What do you want me to do? I can’t let Allan rot in bed all day? I feel like things are getting out of hand.”

Pim frowned. “No, I suppose not. I mean, if Katrina was this depressed about something traumatic, I might suggest a doctor. A therapist. Has he ever talked to anyone about this, like, professionally?”

“Dude you don’t think I’ve tried that? Allan refuses. He.. I can’t force him to do anything. I just want him to know I’m here. Here for him, shit like that.”

“So, at home, what does he do? Like, I don’t want to be rude or intrusive…”

“Nah man, you’re cool, but to be fair, it is a little rude,” Charlie lightly teased. Pim smiled despite the seriousness of the conversation. “You’re fucking rude man. Get some, like, manners or something.”

“Oh, sorry, I’m just Pim, the rudest one,” Pim replied and they both chuckled.

“He goes from anxiously cleaning the kitchen at two in the morning to literally watching the same thing over and over. Like he saw the same Seinfeld episode like ten times in a row.”

“Which one? The laundry one or..” Pim started to say.

“The Chinese restaurant,” Pim and Charlie said at the same time.

“Aw, but that’s a good one though,” Pim laughed.

“Now I’m hungry. Wanna get a sandwich with me? It doesn’t look like we are doing a job yet.”

Pim nodded. “Sure.”

They check in with the boss but no job has come up yet, so they go to a local coffee shop. Charlie kept lagging behind, making Pim wait often.

“Shit, sorry, Allan keeps sending me messages.”

“Is he doing okay?” Pim scratched his head.

“Oh, yeah. He just wanted to know what color scheme I wanted for the kitchen..” Charlie said in a distracted voice, texting on the phone.

“Um, Charlie, you’re just letting him redecorate everything?”

Charlie gave him a side eye, looking flustered. “Dude, I don’t give a shit how the apartment looks. If this helps him feel better then I.. it’s okay.”

“I’m seriously not judging. I want Allan to be okay too. But I want you to be happy, Charlie. This is like, killing you.” Pim sighed. “It’s really not healthy.”

Charlie scoffed. “He’s not crazy, Pim. He’s going through some rough patches but it’ll be fine. We’re fine. I’m fine.”

“I didn’t say he was crazy.”

Charlie shrugged. “Okay.”

“Let’s just go eat and go back to the office,” Pim suggested.

“Okay.”

They quickly ate lunch without much talking, making Pim feel more anxious that his friend is hiding his true feelings. Charlie was on his phone, texting Allan, looking increasingly more stressed.

“So how are you and Katrina? I’m sorry we haven’t gotten to do that double date yet.”

“Oh we’re good. And no, Katrina understands. I haven’t told her like, all the specifics of what happened but she knows it’s been terribly difficult for you two. She sends her best.”

“Good. She sounds nice. You deserve a really nice girl since you’re such a sweet guy. I’m glad you have one.”

Pim brushed the back of his head, smiling, “She really is so sweet. Thank you for saying that Charlie.”

“Of course dude.”

Heading back to work, Charlie gets a call.

“Shit, Pim, gimme a sec. I’ll be.. I’ll meet you inside the office.”

“Yeah, Allan, what happened?” Charlie answered the phone. “There was a car following you too closely? Are you okay?”

Pim frowned, going inside.

“Hey boys, we actually just got a job! It’s for a widow that is feeling down in the dumps after her dog got killed by a semi truck… hehe,” the boss told Pim. He looked around. “Where’s Charlie?”

Pim frowned. “On the phone.”

“Oh okay. Well let him know. I put in the request on your desks. It’s in your email too.”

“Okay, boss! We are getting right on it!”

“Do you think Charlie can handle it?” The boss asked with a low voice.

Pim nodded but then sighed. “He’s awfully distracted. I mean, even more than usual.”

“Yeah I figured. Dude when is Allan coming back? His PTO is almost shot.”

Pim shrugged. “I have no idea, Mr. Boss. I’d ask Charlie but he’s so… I wouldn’t ask him.”

“That’s disappointing. Allan is literally the glue that keeps us from sinking into a hellish abyss…” he said in an increasingly aggressive and dark voice.

Pim shivered. “Try calling him? He is most likely out and about now, running errands.”

“Okay.”

Mr. Boss started immediately calling him, making Pim look around nervously.

“Oh wait, Mr. Boss, sorry he’s actually talking to Charlie now..”

“Yeah, hey man. It’s your boss. Just checking in. How you been keeping? Yeah. No, I know. Okay. I just wanted to know an estimate on when you’ll be coming back to work, no rush, no rush.”

Pim frowned, as Charlie came in.

“Yeah. Fight the good fight, man. I know. Okay. Bye bye!” The boss said in a syrupy, falsetto manner.

“Well boys, you got a job. Charlie, I just explained it to Pim here. I’ll see you later. Have fun!”

Charlie nodded, looking exhausted, like he just gained twenty years on his face.

“Okay,” Charlie frowned as he got another text. “What? Oh God..”

Pim got his coat as they left, “What’s wrong?”

“Allan’s coming back to work tomorrow. Dude? What did our boss say just now?”

“Oh, not much. Told me that the job is a widow whose dog just got pulverized in a semi truck accident.”

“What the fuck man that’s gruesome as hell.”

“Yeah. Heavy. I got the address. Ready?”

“Pim, seriously, did the boss mention me or Allan or anything?”

“Uh, yeah. He wanted to know when Allan was coming back.”

“And? What did you say?”

Pim sighed, “Nothing.”

“Listen Pim, the other day Allan was making fucking toast. The toaster sparked and he started going into this zombie like coma. He crawled on the floor and laid there in the fetal position. I had to physically pick him up and take him to our couch. Things are fucked. Allan is not ready to go back to work.”

Pim’s eyes widened, understanding the scope of the situation deeper, “Oh holy crap.”

“You see? I… oh God. See? Even you, who never curses, used a word like crap. You must know how truly fucked I am.”

“Oh my goodness Charlie I had no clue. What can I do?”

“Nothing. Fuck. Fuck!” Charlie kicked a crack in the sidewalk.

“We can talk to the boss when we get back,” Pim offered.

“Maybe. I don’t know.”

They get into Charlie’s car as Pim pulls up the address.

“Dude I don’t know how much more I can take. I feel like I’m split in half. Work, Allan, work, Allan. I am spread thin.”

“Yeah I can’t imagine, Charlie. I’m so sorry.”

“Dude did you say something to him back there?”

“Charlie, don’t be mad but all I said was Allan was running errands. He wanted to ask you about him coming back to work. I said you might wanna give Allan a call.”

“Oh, God. Allan is so high right now on his dopamine hits from shopping and planning to redecorate that he isn’t going to be able… he’s just not gonna… he’s gonna crash out hard after it’s over. I know. I have been there.” Charlie sighed. “Man I wish you hadn’t said that. Of course Allan will just do anything to make others happy.”

“Do you want my advice or..”

“No, dude. You did enough.”

Pim sighed. “Sorry.”

“No. It’s not your fault. It’s… I think I need to step back a bit. I’m losing my mind, kinda.” Charlie laughed, then it turned into a quiet sob.

“Oh no, Charlie, really I had no right to tell the boss that. I’m so sorry. I really am. I’m here for you,” Pim said sadly, patting Charlie’s back.

“Fuck man. And you know the worst part? I remember when Zoey and I got bad. We stopped talking about anything serious. And she said that I stopped making her smile. She said I couldn’t even make her smile anymore, dude. And now I feel like I’m just throwing money at the situation. It’s sick. I feel like it’s just… I’m gonna be sick from this.”

“Do you honestly think you don’t make Allan smile anymore?”

“No. I don’t know. I am just trying to make it out here. In this stupid urban, decaying jungle of life, dude. I’m just trying not to think too deeply on it. I really can’t afford to sit and think.”

“I get it. I mean, I feel like you’re treating this as a bill you need to pay for,” Pim said.

“No shit, Sherlock. I just said that,” Charlie snorted.

“Look, Charlie,” Pim frowned. “Maybe you should stop trying to fix things and just allow the silence to be loud. Like, let Allan be sad. Let yourself be upset. You’ll process it, I think, much better.”

“I’m not upset. Allan’s not a burden. I love him. I love that guy, dude.”

Charlie wiped his face and rubbed his eyes roughly. Pim patted his arm.

“I know you do, Charlie. But you need to take care of yourself too.”

“I can’t lose him, Pim. I’ll go crazy. I’ll die.”

“Charlie listen to yourself. You aren’t losing him. You are.. you’re losing yourself.”

Charlie blinked, giving him a soft smile. “Dude. Dude! You’re brilliant.”

Pim shrugged. “No, I’m really not.”

“Sure you are. Dude, let’s go. We’re so late to this job. I hope they didn’t cancel.”

Pim nodded. “Nope. We’re still on track.”

Charlie took in a deep breath. “Great. Let’s go make someone smile.”

“Yay!” Pim exclaimed as they drove off.